I have this bad habit of worrying which restroom I use. I'm finding it's getting increasingly more difficult to use the men's room without being told I'm using the wrong restroom. I think I just need to put it to rest and totally stop with the men's room. I tried to use the men's room last night at a Starbucks and an older woman coming out of the women's restroom told me to use the women's restroom. This morning I was going to use the men's room at Einstein Bagels and the guy coming out told that It was the men's room. I just need to give up and go into the ladies rooms all the time. I need to just accept womanhood on move on.

I doubt anyone would even look twice or second guess if you used the ladies room. Definitely would twist heads in the men's room. Just looking at your avatar If I were you I would not give it a second thought. I mean that honestly hope that gives you a little reinforcement to confirm what you know.
On top of it I am jealous and can't wait for people to tell me I am using the "wrong" door lol So go for it!

Don't they have unisex bathroom? Most places have them to save space.

Luanne

Stephanie, it is your call as to which restroom you use and when you decide to not use a particular restroom. For me the last time I used the guys was before going full-time. I thought sure people would notice my going in there and tell me that I was in the wrong restroom. Needless to say I didn't use the men's restroom again. It's your call. I have seen woman who have used the mens because the women's restroom. Hugs
Mariah

As far as habits go, I wouldn't call this a bad one. Choose the room where you feel most comfortable. This is a social thing not a bodily function need. At least you aren't strung out on meth!

In any case, for us, it's a good problem already resolved. No?

Chin up.
Cindi

Quote from: luanneph on February 15, 2016, 11:52:48 AM
Don't they have unisex bathroom? Most places have them to save space.

Luanne

the problem where I live is that because of the plumbing regulations of all things is that for all commercial establishments that have just two single occupancy restrooms one by law needs to be designated female and the other male. If there is more than two they can be designated gender neutral .Go figure, most of the commercial places in this suburb have only 2 restrooms. The thing that makes it hard for me sometimes is the fact that I've live in this neighborhood for 29 years and everyone that works in these places knows that I presented male for all that time until 2 years ago.

That really tough Stephanie. Here in San Jose we have Men and Women bathroom, and the third is Unisex just in case one need to go and can not wait.

Luanne

Quote from: luanneph on February 15, 2016, 12:50:14 PM
That really tough Stephanie. Here in San Jose we have Men and Women bathroom, and the third is Unisex just in case one need to go and can not wait.

Luanne

It wouldn't be bad except for the fact they all know me from before

Look at your avatar Stephanie, that is not the picture of someone who should be using the men's.

yea , I know, it's kind of that my mind has to start accepting that fact blindly and just push on. I love that I've come this far though even though a bit weird in a sense.

I have a similar issue, only for me I don't feel comfortable using either restroom.  As a result I avoid public restrooms at all costs unless they have a unisex one wherever I am.  So far I've been successful but sooner or later there's going to come the day when I *have to* go before I get home and I'm dreading it.   

I just feel like all eyes are on me with the current spate of "bathroom bills" being introduced in state legislatures.  I know they are all ridiculous, unenforceable and most are dying before they even get to a vote but that feeling of being "not welcome" persists.

yea, that eyes all around feeling

Im struggling with the same thing.... I dont feel right in either one. And I always have to pee when I am out (God, I would never dream of taking a dump in public )

I really get uneasy when I have to enter one and our small townish mentality I could see the cops being called on a "guy in the womens room"....

I havent perfected my look and, to me, Im not passing... but I surely look super fem and I get strange looks coming and going to the mens room. But I cant wrap my head around it either .... at some point we must accept ourselves enough to just do it all the time. 

Hi there I have a strange problem when out with my Wife as she does not mind Me using the Ladies toilets by myself (I pass very well) but she does not like Me being in there at the same time as her .She is the older generation being 70 Years old and Me being 60 .Yet we go out shopping together she even borrows my clothes sometimes but she does get all hung up on the toilets I was out with her one time and We both needed to go so to keep her happy I went into the Gents and she saw this Woman give me look as if to say You should not be doing that .She still has a problem with it though

Sunday I wore my new bra to work and looked very feminine. Everyone I work with knows I'm trans so I was a little nervous but when I imagined the panic I would cause customers going into the men's room I had no choice. I used the staff (single stall) restroom that day and, surprise, no one had an issue. One co-worker thought I used it all the time. Not goin' back, nuh-uh! Although, like any girl, I'll use the men's single stall if ours is occupied!

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Good gawd! woman -- use the ladies room. I just assumed you were based on your pic.  Don't even think about it, just use the ladies room.

I'm starting to have the same problem as you Stephanie. I also live in the Chicago area and I've been full time for a month or so. I just got my bangs cut and am starting to get double takes in the mens room. One guy even walked back out and checked to make sure he was in the right place so I guess maybe it's time to move to the ladies room.
I'm pretty nervous about switching I still feel less chance of a confrontation using the mens room.
I think Illinois law about this is pretty good, I'll have to look that up. Anyone know if Illinois protects us if there is a confrontation? Would hate to find out the hard way I could end up fined or in jail.
I agree the places I've been going to for years are where I'm the most nervous about using the ladies.

Stephanie, you are ready to change when you are getting questioned about being in the men's.  From what you say both men and women are seeing you as a woman so you need to be using the women's.  It will different for you for sure, with the women being much more chattier than the men ever considered.  If you voice is not great you will want to keep your talking to a minimum.  Good luck in using the women's.

Thanks for all the help. Susan's is an oasis in the desert.