This is my first post here and hoping I can get some insight or advice

I believe I'm transgender and I believe I am a woman inside and I'm hurting I have been for a long time

I also believe that my female partner has emasculated me for years. let me explain. I love my partner and we have children together and for the sake of the children and my love I typically apologize for any argument we have. I cave to her needs. Anything she wants she gets at my expense of what I think we should do or what I think is right. my partner has severe mood swings too which can be very difficult to navigate at times.

I have tried counseling with her, but it failed because she will never acknowledge that she does this, only will give a nod to mood swings.

for my part I am very sexual being, have been my entire life and I can give an accounting of being very feminine when it comes to pleasing others. And I have shaved my body, done makeup and worn my partners clothes (secretly in all relationships I have had with women). I love the idea of having myself in chastity or having my balls removed.

Now... with my wife I'm concerned that my ticks, combined with her behaviors has emasculated me.

Am I emasculated, or am I just acting out as a beta female?  To be real if I were asked if I wanted to be male or female, I'd say female for sure.

what are your thoughts here?

Maybe you're both? I mean, putting aside the gendered connotations of the word, if you think of synonyms for 'emasculated', like 'not respected' or 'not treated as an equal'... it's possible that you're having trouble with your relationship and that you're trans. Have you thought about talking to a therapist that specialises in gender?

Welcome to Susan's Place. I have been around transgender/transexual people for about 35 years and one of the things I often notice is the underlying personality of people. I often see a passiveness in MTFs when they are pre everything and the FTM tend to have a strength that is brought out even more as they start on T. I think personality along with gender identity are both formed about the same time in the birth process and if you are passive now, it's because you have always been so.

Part of gender dysphoria is being uncomfortable with your role in society and needing to be aggressive or passive when it's not in your nature can make you very uncomfortable.

So much for the thoughts of an arm chair philosopher. Time to get down to business.

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Welcome aboard CW.  I might respectfully suggest you don't worry about the labels too much.  Transgender is a big inclusive umbrella that encompasses a wealth of people, gender expression and more.  Gender identity is inherent, subjective and felt while gender roles are, IMO, far more culturally determined.  You know there are powerfully strong women who lead fearlessly and men who may not fit any of the current stereotypes for that gender role.   If cisgender they still feel comfortably female and male with little question about it.  Trust your deep and persistent feelings on this one.

I have good friends who can do a perfectly hyperfeminine woman when they perform as drag queens.  They are still comfortably men but can ACT much more feminine than I feel. 

Being emasculated is something I am very willingly doing for myself but the term is a perjorative just like the term castrate.   Our wives and girlfriends really have no impact on our gender identity but can exert a tremendous amount of impact by supporting or denying our reality.   The challenges of being a loving couple remain whether we are Trans or cisgender, gay or straight.

Only you can ultimately confirm your gender but many of us have availed ourselves of professional assistance.  A good gender therapist and support groups can help.     

I hadn't considered some of this, or maybe I had, I don't know, but what you all say makes sense to me. I have ALWAYS sought out to be with someone that was a bit more forward and strong and I suspect its because I lend towards wanting someone to *take charge* so to speak. The person I'm with now, is just that, but so bossy I wasn't sure whether I need to *man up* and push back, or go the exact opposite and become *more* of what feels good to me. If that makes any sense.

I consider myself a very assertive and demanding person.  I don't think gender identity is related to this area much like gender and sexuality are different...  it's just a stereotype in my opinion.

Quote from: crystalwishes on February 17, 2016, 07:14:54 PM
I hadn't considered some of this, or maybe I had, I don't know, but what you all say makes sense to me. I have ALWAYS sought out to be with someone that was a bit more forward and strong and I suspect its because I lend towards wanting someone to *take charge* so to speak. The person I'm with now, is just that, but so bossy I wasn't sure whether I need to *man up* and push back, or go the exact opposite and become *more* of what feels good to me. If that makes any sense.

even though I'm in the process of "manning up" i hate that expression LOL You should do what feels right or good for you, not what you think society might want or expect of you. :)

I agree I want to be me, I'm wearing yoga pants right now, I love em. I have decided to embrace my self.