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Therapy, I didn't think I needed validation but I guess I do

Started by Fara, February 20, 2016, 09:26:28 PM

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Fara

I wanted to share a bit about my last therapy session.  Quick background: I've been seeing a gender therapist weekly for about 2 months now.  My gender dysphoria/euphoria started about 6 or so months ago after the first time I allowed myself to express my femme side.  There are things in my past that obviously could be clues but I stay away from retrospective narrative building.

It took some serious soul searching and introspection before I fully accepted my true gender.  That said my confidence about that still goes up and down.  I've tried not to look to my therapist for validation, I know that really isn't how it works.  However, I still wanted an external opinion.

So I started talking about all this with her, and the subject of a referral letter came up.  The local informed consent clinic is top notch, so I've never really asked about a referral for HRT.  I was just curious how often she writes them, and what criteria she uses to make a decision whether to or not.

She knew where the conversation was going, and gave me a pretty solid validation from her experience and our hours together.

It definitely helped my confidence to hear it, but I feel kinda let down that I needed it.  I have my first appointment at the IC clinic on Wed, so maybe that's just starting to give me jitters.   

I'm excited about starting HRT, just getting anxious and nervous is all.

Anyone go through these emotions as they came out and began to transition?
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stephaniec

it's not like jumping off a bridge without a parachute . You can always pause or stop or keep going.
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Dena

Starting HRT is pretty important in our life and everybody feels that way.

In my case, I knew at age 13 what would have to happen in my life. By the time I started therapy at 23, I had been living with it for 10 years and even read medical books on the subject so I didn't need a therapist to tell me what I was. For somebody so new to the exploration process, there still must be a good deal of uncertainty and a lack of knowledge so having a therapist verify your feeling is to be expected. It doesn't make you any less transgender to question yourself, it only means you are being very careful to make the right decision.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
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Meghan

When you begin HRT no turning back. So make decisions carefully.

Luanne

Meghan Pham: MtF Transgender, Transsexual, Transwoman, social justice, Caregivers, Certified Nurse Assistant
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teri

Luanne....do you mean that once someone starts hrt that person will not want to turn back?
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Meghan

Quote from: teri on February 21, 2016, 09:52:43 AM
Luanne....do you mean that once someone starts hrt that person will not want to turn back?
Not that. When one beginning HRT humans body begin to adjust to new hormones level. It will be in reversible when is begin. That why is the most important decision one has to make in one life.

Luanne

Meghan Pham: MtF Transgender, Transsexual, Transwoman, social justice, Caregivers, Certified Nurse Assistant
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Fara

Thanks for your responses.  I'm an info junkie so I believe I have all the facts about HRT, laser, electrolysis etc.  I believe I fully understand what I'm getting myself into, and I do want it. 

I think my anxiety lies in realizing that starting hormone therapy is just a first small step in the journey, but it's very real and makes me ponder all the other steps I will need to take down the path. 

Will I falter? I hope I don't.  But, I've always been a one step at a time, one foot in front of the other type girl.  So I think I'll just approach it that way.
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Meghan

Quote from: GiaFarrell on February 21, 2016, 01:57:39 PM
Thanks for your responses.  I'm an info junkie so I believe I have all the facts about HRT, laser, electrolysis etc.  I believe I fully understand what I'm getting myself into, and I do want it. 

I think my anxiety lies in realizing that starting hormone therapy is just a first small step in the journey, but it's very real and makes me ponder all the other steps I will need to take down the path. 

Will I falter? I hope I don't.  But, I've always been a one step at a time, one foot in front of the other type girl.  So I think I'll just approach it that way.
That what I am try to do right now. Just one step of the times.

Luanne

Meghan Pham: MtF Transgender, Transsexual, Transwoman, social justice, Caregivers, Certified Nurse Assistant
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