(VERY early, anticipating 1st appt with therapist monday)
I spend a lot of time alone, on the computer.
I'm an independent software developer. So, my 'work issues' are not standard. Only one employee, me. And home life things are cool.
Of course, I'm an emotional trainwreck, so I haven't gotten any work done in months. And my mind is too distracted by all the details of transition to work on my game.

I've been 'dressing more comfortably' more and more.
The times I am dressed 'female', I feel soooooooo much better.
I hate my 'male uniform', same thing every day.

The thing I'm wondering, not on hrt yet, could frequent, tight tucking reduce functionality of the 'boys' down there? Hormone level wise? Not so much count, I don't want kids.

Just wondering if all these years I have been trying to hold back the 'yuk' those things are putting my body, an unconscious attempt to do my own T-blocking.

I'm saying that maybe not just being dressed in an outfit I prefer helps me be happier, but physically constraining glands might be having some emotional effects. I put back on the male clothes and the T surges back. Or maybe something else I am doings is surging my T, like self pleasure? maybe I should think about a castration. I don't like my glands, never have. I want to get the whole deal, but I heard sometimes it's done in 2 stages.

I'm all over with my topic. Confused.

So many things .........

But anyway. I'm at home alone as Amy. But the times I go out to the store, I dress male and go stealth.
Not exactly 'full time'. To be honest, RLE & full time can be a little vauge if you think about it.

..but not public. that's what the therapist can help with.