Lately I have been having nightmares about being trans.  Most of the time they are about being publicly misgendered.  Last night it was about being forced to room with women and being surrounded by people who refuse to acknowledge what I am.  I have even woken up once or twice in a panic, wondering what the heck I am doing "pretending" to be a man and feeling immensely guilty, at least until I wake up enough for my conscious mind to take over.  Obviously I have some major subconscious worry and angst going on here.  I didn't have these dreams at first, but not regularly passing has started to wear on me, I think, and the guilty moments I think come from the fact that my parents are supportive but not exactly enthusiastic and I feel guilty for putting them through this.  Has anyone else gone through this?  I just wish they'd go away and I could go back to nightmares that cut a little less deeply, like forgetting to prepare for a test or finding myself naked in public, lol.

Hey Mitch,

I haven´t experienced this (my dreams about being trans is that I wake up post -op or with male anatomy), but if anxiety about this is seeping through to your dreams, maybe it´d be good to tell your parents how you feel - and also that you have been feeling guilty. In my opinion you are not guilty.

Being trans is not something that you are "putting other people through". They can choose to trust you, trust in your intuition as a human being that this is what would make you happy. That is my opinion.

My nightmares were more of a nature that I would be in a male shower block/amenities and trying to find a private place as far away as possible, but always failing.

I had a dream where I was in a huge bathroom with no partitions and i have to find a toilet far away from other guys because I'm afraid of getting outed. I wake up and really have to pee.

I also had another one where I looked down at my private area and I couldn't comprehend what I had so it was just something I could never see? It's weird.

But I rarely have dreams about my gender, my dreams are always like movies and very vivid. For example I was in the middle of a war (I never served in the military) and someone came up behind me and shot me in the head. There was another time where everything was like an apocalypse and there were giant aliens attacking Earth. All I could do was sit and watch them running towards this giant wall.

I'm a nut!

It's funny you should mention this because I've been having nightmares too and just had another one last night. I think since I'm mostly closeted so far they've all been about me telling people I'm trans and them either getting mad at me or trying to convince me not to transition. I've been kind of startled about it because I rarely dream about things that are relevant to my current life so it's weird to actually be dreaming about something that I'm thinking about a lot. That never happens to me about anything else. Anyway, they're uncomfortable but I also find them weirdly validating because I get so mad in my dreams that I forget to be insecure, haha. So I wake up thinking, "How dare they try to tell me who I am or that I shouldn't transition! Screw them!" Lol. If only I could be so confident when I'm interacting with real people

I use to have nightmares about being caught dressed properly , but since starting HRT there haven't been any.

I've had nightmares involving my body. The latest one had my body hair below the waist suddenly grow back, thick and tangled, and I tried to just rip it off my skin in panic. Then I noticed that the hair, all of it, was covered in some kind of substance, something that was kind of solid, but it also left these yellowish-brown stains on everything it touched. It took me a very small moment to realize it was ->-bleeped-<-. Crap. Manure. Organic waste.

A few days later, I started shaving my legs twice a day and haven't looked back since.
Interesting to note: In the dream, I was pretty much naked, and I could clearly see as I looked down that I had female genitalia. This is one of the very few times I have ever paid any attention to what is between my legs in the dream world, and in every single case, I've never had the genitals I was born with down there. And the other dreams predate my discovery of being transgender.
I've also had a similar body related nightmare, though that one was when I was ten, and it involved my legs detaching from my knees in a very messy way. Usually, I don't even get nightmares.
I mostly dream about completely illogical things that seem completely sensible when I'm still asleep. For example, one time I dreamt I had an in-built sauna heater inside me. I just showed some rocks into a hatch in my belly, and the temperature around me went up to 80 degrees Celsius. Also, I had these massive bat wings instead of arms, and I watched these shadow creatures, like shadows of animals like monkeys, snakes and parrots that were not actually there, stalk a bunch of soldiers, and the soldiers' cook made some kind of food that calmed the soldiers down, as they were getting paranoid over the shadow creatures constantly watching them. And then there was this one time me, my father, and this gorilla broke into an office building to steal computer screens. And the time I set up two dates at the exact same time, and then suddenly moved on to fighting in a war my grand-grandfather fought in, after which I found myself running in the middle of an exploding swamp, towards an alien spaceship, away from a certain childhood nightmare of a massive eye in the forest. Inside the ship, I was greeted by a Carnotaurus who told me that I should never eat Norwegian cheese or do spy's work, and then offered me a bowl full of chocolate raisins that were shaped like snakes.
So, yeah. My dreams are usually fun nonsense, and I've tried to learn lucid dreaming for a while now to get more out of it. But since my dreams are usually like that, a nightmare always catches me off guard.

I've had nightmares about not being able to go on T for some reason, or T just not working for me and me consistently being misgendered. But nothing too intense, and I definitely have more positive dreams than negative. I dream that I am cis a lot.

My nightmares are usually about my teeth, or about drowning in a tidal wave. Occasionally I'll have nightmares about people betraying me because I'm trans or something, but I think that's more about ptsd than being trans.


     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yep.

But they only started after I made the decision to transition, so I'm guessing my brain reads this as a set of potential problematic situations which it knew it wasn't up against "publicly" before, but now it is, so it's kindly gonna force me to dream about them.

 I had a dream when I was child that has stuck with me.  I was in a classroom and the teacher called on me to answer a question. When I stood up from my desk to answer it one the other kids pulled down my pants revealing the red tights I was wearing underneath my pants.