More progress on my coming out story... I put some polish on my nails this morning and my wife told me my feet looked horrible with the nail polish because they were not properly manicured. I told her: "Then take me to a nail salon and we'll fix this problem", she said "Sure, I have an hour, wanna go now?"

My jaw dropped...

We drove to the salon and did a manicure, pedicure, it was awesome, feeling like a girl there. Fantastic experience. My wife picked a neutral color nail polish, I prefer the sparkly ones, but hey, one step at a time. She says it's less visible than the sparkly one, not sure I agree since the sparkly one wasn't very shiny, more diffuse reflections, but oh well, my hands and feet look lovely now

I'm happy she took me, I would have never found the courage to go by myself, hoping we'll do it again soon :-P

Omg so happy for you.  I would be scared to death to get a pedicure because I have some very messed up toenails from getting them smashed around in my youth. 

My wife just helped me pick out a pair of earrings and I just got my ears pierced.

Quote from: amberwaves on February 26, 2016, 05:28:07 PM
Omg so happy for you.  I would be scared to death to get a pedicure because I have some very messed up toenails from getting them smashed around in my youth. 
My wife just helped me pick out a pair of earrings and I just got my ears pierced.

Thanks!

Getting the ear pierced is definitely something I'd like to do... I shall suggest this soon ;-)

Well according to my wife I've had a smile on my face since getting it done.  Plus she might get me nice earrings for my birthday in July.  Outwardly, I was calm and normal, but on the inside I was having a girly "squeeee!!!"

Quote from: amberwaves on February 26, 2016, 06:04:58 PM
Well according to my wife I've had a smile on my face since getting it done.  Plus she might get me nice earrings for my birthday in July.  Outwardly, I was calm and normal, but on the inside I was having a girly "squeeee!!!"

Lol, same thing today at the nail salon. I thanked her afterwards

Well congrats to both of you!!! I have been wanting to do the nails salon for a while, but as my wife does her stuff weekly, she taught me a lot about making mine look good. I just decided to do my right ear since my left is done already.... Maybe this week... But either way Lauren, that is awesome your wife is being supportive and involved... I am very happy for you!!

Update... she watched some interviews of Caitlyn Jenner last night and this morning, her opinion seems to have changed... I still want her to watch the 1:30 hour long with Diane Sawyer.
She is worried about people discriminating against us, her, me, the kids... I told her that's a possibility, but the world is changing, and for the kids, any school, even the most conservative there is, cannot ignore the transgender issues for much longer.
She ended up saying, "You really want to look like a girl?", "Yes", I said, "but it's not something I want, it's something I have to do". "Well, then transition... I don't want you to get depressed..."

wow... we'll see if that sticks when she comes to see the therapist with me. But it all feels surreal right now...

I hope this positive change holds.  Acceptance can take time.  Especially since she isn't privy to all the internal conflict and tension.  Surprisingly, I haven't watched any of the Caitlyn Jenner interview.  I didn't care much for her when she was Bruce so I kind of ignored it.

Quote from: amberwaves on February 27, 2016, 10:40:49 AM
I hope this positive change holds.  Acceptance can take time.  Especially since she isn't privy to all the internal conflict and tension.  Surprisingly, I haven't watched any of the Caitlyn Jenner interview.  I didn't care much for her when she was Bruce so I kind of ignored it.

The reason why I asked her to watch it is because it was the tipping point for me, the moment where I was like "wait a second... I do all those things... am I transgender??? Let's ask google..."

That is wonderful Lauren!!! I am immensely happy for you!!!

Update, so last week we went to see the therapist together, it went well, we didn't learn much more but I think it was useful as a validation of what I had told her in the letter.

Since then, it's been *crazy*.

I'm 100% in girl mode at home, we've gone shopping together, I've ordered many new things online, she's giving me advice and fashion tips... I couldn't ask for more.

Just today, I had ordered a pair of UGG wedge sandals, they were too big for me in Size 12, so I had to send them back. I also showed her at the same time some wedge booties I liked. I had gone to Macy's to try to find them and I did something my therapist had asked me to do: say I'm trans and I'm looking for some shoes. I did it, the sales guy was super nice, he told me "I don't discriminate, all money's green! Now tell me what you're looking for..." Since they didn't have anything I liked in my size, he told me to check Nordstrom. I went home and told my wife, she told me that we should go once the kids wake up from their nap. Crazy!
So we went to Nordstrom, and I had checked online if they had those wedge booties I liked, in size 12, they did! I told her, if they fit, I'm wearing them out, and we'll go to the restaurant while I wear them
They fit perfectly! Luckily, I had planned ahead and was wearing a pair of white pants that worked with with those shoes. It was awesome walking in the store and outside with those shoes!
We then went to the restaurant, I didn't care about anyone looking at me All I felt was that I was so happy wearing those shoes.

Tonight, I showed her the outfit I wanted to wear for my appointment tomorrow. She helped me make a couple of adjustments. Final plan is: the wedge booties, nice black tights (wolford), a black flowy skirt, and a wonderful off-white top from Patty Boutik. This is so much fun!

In other news, I started blasting my hair with lasers last week, chest and armpits for now, and will start the beard/face in a couple of weeks.

I really would like to start HRT now... I don't want to get stuck in the middle... and I want to be able to tell everyone!

So excited for you Lauren!  Reading that update made me smile.  I'm glad your wife is being so supportive.  I know you two still have some things to sort out, but it sounds like things are on the right track.  Amazing how something as small as a little help/encouragement/acceptance from our wives makes such a positive boost to our moods. 

I've found that generally speaking no one cares or comments when I go out in girl clothes.  I make it a point to ignore self-conscious feelings about it and just act like it's completely normal.  It seems that having confidence in it makes it less awkward and deflects criticism.  We took the kids to a Chinese buffet last night and I was in girl jeans with a flowery embroidered pattern, a woman's long sleeve T-shirt with butterflies, my hair out (I have long hair past my shoulders) and a pair of nice flats.  It was incredibly androgynous.  There was one guy at a table near us who seemed uncomfortable, but I ignored it and there were no problems.

I just had my first laser session on my face yesterday.  I can already notice a reduction in regrowth rate as normally I would have had to shave this morning, but it's much finer and very little stubble poking through.  We will see how well that holds moving forward.  I found a Groupon deal to get 6 sessions for about $230.  So far seems like it was a great investment.

The lure of hormones is very strong for me as well.  I've been doing a good job of keeping the brakes on it.  My wife doesn't want me rushing too fast into things.  I agree with her as I have a habit of rushing into things once I've made up my mind.  Luckily, I do not have overtly masculine facial features, so I can dress and not be super awkward.  Mostly I want to experience the emotional changes hormones bring.  Well...and breasts.  My wife made an offhand comment about if I get more toys (breasts in this case) she is gonna play with them.

Looking forward to hearing more updates!

Kisses,
Amber

Congratulations Lauren!! I am very happy for you and your wife!! This can be a fun experience for both of you, and I am very glad you two are doing this together!!

Thanks!

Being 100% in girl mode at home is awesome!

We're going to Nordstrom today to pick out some make up stuff. She did my eyebrows yesterday, they are much better, way less bushy ;-)

Oh and I shaved my legs, well, I cut the hair very short with an electric razor under the advice of my esthetician wife who told I'd get plenty of pimples if I shaved. And all I have to say is *oh* *my* *god*! I can't believe I haven't done this earlier. So smooth. I am celebrating this today by wearing sheer black pantyhose. This is something I had always wanted to do but couldn't really because of the monkey hair Luckily, I'm blonde so what remains of the hair is invisible.

My new goal is to go with her today, dressed this way (black skirt (mid thigh), pink sweater, and wedge booties), have my makeup done at Nordstrom, out, in girl mode.

Next one will be to tell my business partner, and my parents...

I can't believe it's only been 2 weeks since I came out!

Definitely a brave soul!!! Go and do what makes you happy girl!! I am truly happy for you!!! It's always nice to hear of someone going through this and having such a positive experience all the way through. I am sure you will be an inspiration to many of whom are still afraid to come out. Keep us updated on all of your wonderful accomplishments, I love hearing about them!!!

I think of telling my wife very often, but I dont honestly thinks she would accept it. When I married I already knew that I am trans, in fact, I knew from the beggining of our relationship. She doesnt like when I shave my beard cuz "it feels like I cheating on you", she says.

She is a very suportive wife, but I dont think I should count on it in this case. She often say things that make me fell more of a macho man than I actually am, like an alpha. But sometimes  it looks like she suspects of something. Almost like she could she through me but dont belive it. I think she suspects of something but dont know what, but if I have do take a guess, I would say that sometimes she things that I gay. But this can be just my regular level of paranoia.

Quote from: wanessa.delisola on March 10, 2016, 03:52:52 AM
I think of telling my wife very often, but I dont honestly thinks she would accept it. When I married I already knew that I am trans, in fact, I knew from the beggining of our relationship. She doesnt like when I shave my beard cuz "it feels like I cheating on you", she says.

She is a very suportive wife, but I dont think I should count on it in this case. She often say things that make me fell more of a macho man than I actually am, like an alpha. But sometimes  it looks like she suspects of something. Almost like she could she through me but dont belive it. I think she suspects of something but dont know what, but if I have do take a guess, I would say that sometimes she things that I gay. But this can be just my regular level of paranoia.

I love the happy stories of acceptance. Mine was a little different. She immediately started planning for divorce and told me that committing suicide might be a good option for me. The looks of hatred commenced. All that was last October. I promised to never transition. We go to counseling. It is better. I fear that she will never accept and it will be limbo forever. I wish the best for all of you.

Quote from: genevie on March 10, 2016, 10:21:28 AM
I love the happy stories of acceptance. Mine was a little different. She immediately started planning for divorce and told me that committing suicide might be a good option for me. The looks of hatred commenced. All that was last October. I promised to never transition. We go to counseling. It is better. I fear that she will never accept and it will be limbo forever. I wish the best for all of you.

I'm so sorry to read that :-(

Writing those posts always feels bitter sweet... on one hand, I think it could help those who might have accepting wives to come out, but on the other hand, I fear that it makes those who haven't been as fortunate feel bad

I had seen very few success stories before I came out, which is part of the reason why I'm contributing here.

I hope things can turn around for you.

Laura

I agree with you Lauren that there are significantly less happy accounts of people's transitions, especially when dealing with the spouse and family.  I wouldn't use the term success because many individuals find their place in life and are happy with transition and their situations after the fact.  They just have to go through significant and heartbreaking events, such as divorce, along the way.

I attribute the plethora of bad experience to the fact that this is a forum for support and advice.  Many people in tough situations come here and pour their souls out into a thread looking for the moral support and advice of others who have travelled this path.  When things are relatively smooth there is little need to reach out to others.  Think of it as a form of selection bias.

That being said I feel very sad for those that have undergone pain and loss because of something that most of us didn't know or want in the first place.  It is hard enough to accept this within ourselves, let alone explain to others.  Spouses in particular are a tough subject because it so disruptive to perceived reality.  They are not able to see the inner narrative and many are not accepting of the changes.  Others are accepting, but are unable to remain in the relationship with the new dynamic.  My heart goes out to everyone struggling.

I have had my share of pain and hardship in life.  I nearly wrecked my marriage a few years back with infidelity.  By contrast this has been much smoother.  I don't post much about my own hardship because I am still very much a closed person who prefers to deal with things alone.  I share the joyful moments so that others may find some happiness vicariously, or understand that not every tale is dark.

I do read a lot of the posts of troubles and hardship and I occasionally offer advice.  However, there are so many wiser souls on here who have dealt with much more similar situations.  Typically, those people will be able to offer much better insight and guidance.  Both types of experiences, good and bad, need to be put out there to provide a better picture of the various ways transitions can progress.

Lauren, I love hearing how quickly things have progressed and how happy you are lately.  I am glad to hear how your wife has been so supportive lately.  All the best moving forward and looking forward to more updates.

Amber

It is heartbreaking to hear stories about spouses being unaccepting, especially when the kids are used as tools in a divorce. What your wife said was extremely brutal, and I am sorry to say, but even if you transitioned, you would still be the same person inside so it's hard to believe that she is really in love with you if she could live you committing suicide more easily than living with you transitioning.

I feel horrible looking at stories like these as well, my wife tells me she will support me if I ever decide to transition fully even though at the moment I am more fluid. Some days I am Tasha, others I am the man she married with more feminine qualities. And to hear about a significant other that is so hurtful can make me feel guilty. I do however, feel it is important to put the positive stories out because it is important for people to know that they CAN be accepted and loved by someone however they decide to present themselves.

I wish you all the best possible outcome in your journeys and hope you can find happiness!!!

Tasha