I am considered neither male nor female according to my therapist letters. I have already began my name change, and my gender marker change is happening to be classified as a female even though I am still a male. I do not want bottom surgery but I do want a more feminine face, voice, and chest area. Right now I do not know what to do, and have been stressing for months about what route I should take. I have read about HRT, and many other things but still not sure what to do. I own tons of makeup, and wigs, but it does not complete me because I still do not feel like who I am suppose to be. I am looking for guidance, cause frankly my straight friends do not get it or understand.

Thanks.

Welcome to Susan's Place. I can think of  three options open to you. Makeup, FFS and hormones. Each has it's advantages and disadvantages. As hormones are a main consideration, I will talk a little about them. They will cause a reduction in the transgender feeling that you have. If you feel uncomfortable because of that feeling, it may be worth trying blockers and think about low dose or regular dose estrogen. A down side to hormones is that your bottom side may become not functional. Dosages can be adjusted to prevent this but the transgender feeling may return. Consider what you want such as face changes, body changes, mental changes and sexual desire. That that will give you an idea of hormones are something you would be comfortable with or not. The advantage is hormones act slow so you might have a month or two of HRT without much in the way of changes. The transgender feeling should change in about two weeks. Feel free to ask more questions as I suspect this hasn't answered all your questions.

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Thanks for the information. I plan to do some surgery on the face like cheek implants, chin implants, nose surgery. I was told by doctors my lips are feminine enough, and my adams apple is not even visible. I don't know if not going on hormones I will be able to get woman like breast, but I am not sure. I am 25 going to be 26 and I been feeling like this since I was a kid. When you say bottom area might not be functional anymore, what exactly do you mean?

Thanks,
Sfora

You may have difficulty obtaining an erection. Hormones can change your face, cause breast to develop and move fat into the leg and butt area. The amount of change will depend on your genetics. I was pretty unresponsive to HRT but some people have responded well.

Quote from: SforaNymph on February 26, 2016, 08:36:38 PM
I am considered neither male nor female according to my therapist letters. I have already began my name change, and my gender marker change is happening to be classified as a female even though I am still a male. I do not want bottom surgery but I do want a more feminine face, voice, and chest area. Right now I do not know what to do, and have been stressing for months about what route I should take. I have read about HRT, and many other things but still not sure what to do. I own tons of makeup, and wigs, but it does not complete me because I still do not feel like who I am suppose to be. I am looking for guidance, cause frankly my straight friends do not get it or understand.

Thanks.

Take the focus off the looks and onto the you.  Read of nonbinary on line.  Search nonbinary videos and music.  You will find yourself...tell your therapist what you found.  Grow...

It will become clear as you experience yourself.  Not your looks but who you are.

I know what I want to achieve which is looking more feminine, without having to completely go under the knife so to speak.

Sfora

Many non binaries have similar objectives.  But there is no single path, single timetable or single approach.  Many race ahead but just as many are very cautious.  Just remember that each step should be consciously made.  A good endo and a good gender therapist are extremely important, as is meeting other members of the community.  Support is very important and extremely beneficial.

At the start of your journey it does feel overwhelming, it does feel confusing and it does feel confronting, but there is a way forward and you can find your way to a far better place.  Some folk find sufficient expression and their self by changing gender cues - grooming, clothing, voice etc;  some start hair removal; others start on an AA like spiro while others combine all of these approaches with a low dose of E.  They say that hrt is diagnostic - if it works, if it relieves your dysphoria, then you are likely on the right path.  Under medical supervision you will be able to find the optimal dose and determine your best way way forward.

My only caution is make sure that you take care of yourself and take care of your key relationships.  Be honest with yourself.  Identify your own narrative, don't adopt another person's narrative.  Many of us have found that the journey itself changes us, changes our self understanding and in some cases our destination.  There is nothing wrong with this,  we are human, we learn, we change and we grow.

SJ is right, read, talk and explore.  You will find your way forward and if my journey is at all relevant you may make mistakes, but you will recover and you will find yourself in a far better place.

Safe travels

Isla