"Beautiful Rebis," that is a wonderful way to illustrate this concept with a minimum of confusion.

Cindy

Thanks Cindy.     I try.  I forgot to mention that I am a Jungian.


Confusion is the enemy of knowing.

I should know.

Hi Rebis yes again you are correct and I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us.

Cindy

All hail Rebis!  You have wonderful insights, Shishou!

I finally just decided that I was going to be happy.  Things have been much better since I did that.  And now I'm going to focus on exactly what I want! 

There was a good quote in a book I read once (Wild Adapter, Vol 3, I think...manga is awesome).  It said something like, "you can always tell when a man has his own god."  I like that.  That's how I feel. 

I also realized/decided that only I have control over what happens to me.  No one else has power over me.  And I have decided to only be filled with joy!

2008 will be a good year!   

You seem to be making loads of positive decisions......almost every other post is something positive and emulate-able. I hope I can keep up.

I don't believe in any grand unified theory of anything though.

No you don't, you only need to believe in your own potential and have faith in your ability to reach that goal.

Cindy

Quote from: Jaimey on January 01, 2008, 06:54:14 PM
All hail Rebis!  You have wonderful insights, Shishou!

I finally just decided that I was going to be happy.  Things have been much better since I did that.  And now I'm going to focus on exactly what I want! 

There was a good quote in a book I read once (Wild Adapter, Vol 3, I think...manga is awesome).  It said something like, "you can always tell when a man has his own god."  I like that.  That's how I feel. 

I also realized/decided that only I have control over what happens to me.  No one else has power over me.  And I have decided to only be filled with joy!

2008 will be a good year!   

It's possible that is a jungian concept too.  Once we have sorted out our internal business, we know God.

i have an odd observation of my own empathy and wanted if i could get some feed back on it. been in cases where i was around people who were drinking and became intoxicated but didnt touch a drop. and cases where a sister was going an anxiety attack and began to exhibit symptoms of the same though not knowing what was occuring at the time. being able to 'take' pain from others without any concious thought to it. on a related not though i think that its possible that we may be more prone to being empathic.

Quote from: BriannaKatherine on January 02, 2008, 08:48:42 AM
I think that its possible that we may be more prone to being empathic.

I think you are right. I think that is something that is winnowed out of us through child-rearing and other socially contrived means. Humans are naturally empathic. Then we are raised not to be.

Hi, Nichole W,
I believe you are right. We all have the potential ability for empathy. What will nurture the ability to be empathic depends much on whether one is allowed or and encouraged to keep these sensitivities and just never tells another soul about them.

Many people will just ignore the possibility for fear of what society will think of them. Then there are those who go through many years of some type of abuse or another and many times it is such an experience that awakens the gift of empathy within them. Unfortunately this phenomenon of emapthy is born of the abuse that many of us have in common. So the very thing that came close to destroying us also brings us together.

Cindy   

briannakatherine brought up something interesting (that we may or may not have talked about earlier...as i've mentioned in every post tonight, i am somewhat inebriated...) about feeling other people's pain.  It seems like several of us have that.  However, in my case, it's more that I know what another person is feeling and I feel a 'nudge', if you will, to do something that will make that person feel better.

For example, my friend's grandmother died just before Thanksgiving and I went to the funeral home with him.  While I was there, I just had the strongest urge to put my arm around him.  But I kept hesitating (for a few reasons, 1.) he's gay and half his town already thinks I'm his wife...those poor people are so confused...and 2.) I am a little awkward about being affectionate towards people, especially in public).  I finally gave in and put my arm around him for a while.  He told me later that as soon as I put my arm around him, he knew everything would be all right.  So for me, it's more that I know what people need.  Is there anyone else like that?  I've never been overwhelmed by anyone's emotions like some of you have.  I also have a younger cousin who is constantly fussed at, even though she isn't doing anything...so one day I just sat down and played with her and let her be a kid and now at every holiday, she's practically my shadow.  Anyone else?

Hi Jaimey
To me I have never hesitated to embrace someone I thought needed it. To feel emotion and show emotion in a public place was difficult at first, It felt kind of strange at first but when I just started full time time it became easier. But once I allowed myself to show caring and support towards another by showing my caring through an embrace I found is most rewarding, and a feeling that I savor.

This is why I have always been the rescuer since early childhood when I began bringing home injured or stray animals home with me. If you are picking up other peoples energy just take an inventory of what is bothering you, is it your stuff or someone else's? Once you know it makes it easier to release what is not yours. To show affection, crying, laughing, nurturing and a healer, and fiercely loving is a woman's prerogative and quite normal for an empath as well.

I believe that is why that you will find that most empaths on message boards are 90% populated by women. Not that men can't have the same such sensitivities but they seem to be more reluctant to show these feeling then women do.

Cindy

i beleive the main reason for that is culture. if you go to cultures where it is not seen as a weakness to cry you find men for the most part much more open to their emotional side, to their willingness to show and be compassionate. it is just that such cultures are few and far between and for the majority. the culture of the modern world is one where it is not verbally said anymore but it is still said through actions that to cry is to be weak to ask others for help to want to feel valued are 'undesirable traits' . we all know the truth of the matter being that all those are universal aspects of the human condition and human nature that sopme of us do not feel the need to express emotion any where near as often as others and some express it almost on a constant basis to the extent of not knowing what we would do without those movements of our soul to the point of accepting the risk of pain and loss in order to feel the burning joy of love in its myriad of forms. but the culture brow beats men to inhibit their emotions almost to the extent where parts of it now are nature instead of nurture. but the majority of it can still be altered by exposing new traditions and mores to a culture.
but theres my rant for today =)
Bri

Hi Brianna
I love what you wrote which didn't really differ much from mine. "Hee, hee," Well I certainly try not to cry in public, I still don't feel it's the right thing to do, but there have been times where it couldn't be helped, No different then a good old side splitting and knee slapping good jokes that I  seem to have cultivated into Wing Walker. I have a lot of jokes that are squeaky clean and the unwashed  as well as children's jokes, I like children's jokes, and I have certainly had god use of them with children. And yes there are some really wonderful sensitive men out there. Some I have even had the privilege to work with. Hey if you ever get to meet a F - M Transeperson, then you will know what I mean.



Cindy

Quote from: BriannaKatherine on January 05, 2008, 11:19:06 AM
i beleive the main reason for that is culture. the culture of the modern world is one where it is not verbally said anymore but it is still said through actions that to cry is to be weak to ask others for help to want to feel valued are 'undesirable traits' .

but the culture brow beats men to inhibit their emotions almost to the extent where parts of it now are nature instead of nurture. but the majority of it can still be altered by exposing new traditions and mores to a culture.

you know what's weird?  i'm female bodied, but that's how it was for me.  no matter what, you don't cry.  my mom told me that when we went to the funeral home when my grandfather died, it was the first time she'd ever seen me cry...i was almost 22.  the really weird part is that i remember crying a lot, but i always cried by myself.  very strange...

...i'm sore...i've been unpacking...ugh...   i'm pooped...

Posted on: January 05, 2008, 07:14:17 PM

---

I got into a debate today about education and now I kind of want to cry.  I don't really know why.  It's like I'm totally overwhelmed by the negativity that I was a part of.  It wasn't that bad of a debate, but I feel bad.  Maybe I'm just frustrated because that person wouldn't listen to me.  I feel like I've somehow hurt that person.  We resolved it a little, but I still feel bad.

I don't know.  Maybe it's hormones or maybe it's because I'm running a light fever.  Or maybe I'm just too sensitive.  I feel really vulnerable.  Normally I'm stoic and completely independent.  I'm so used to being by myself and dealing with things on my own that I don't know what to do when I get like this.  I want someone to hold me.  I want someone to protect me from all the negativity.  This whole weekend was yucky.  My roommates get on my nerves and they don't listen when I speak either.  They are really negative and it's hard for me to deal with.  It's just been too much these past few days and I don't know what to do.

I feel like I'm going crazy.  I just want to win the lottery or something so I can buy a house and a dog and live in peace. 

Hi, Jaimey,
I didn't know this until after I came out full time and a year into HRT. Crying is not only reserved for feeling hurt, or remorseful but I have also come to discover that one can cry over something that is really silly, sad or really funny, or you can also cry when you see another fellow human girl/guy suffering and hurt and lost or doing without most basic needs for a healthy lifestyle.

One can also cry over happy sentimentalities as well as loving sentimentalities, also over something that is truly beautiful. There are as many feelings and sensitivities in a person as all of the colors in the spectrum of visible light.

But one thing I have found is that crying is profoundly cleansing at soul level. I have found that it didn't matter weather the emotion was negative or positive, at soul level both are equal in intensity. From that point I send out this energy out to universe as healing energy for whomever is in need of it.

Cindy   

I wish I could cry more easily.  I've gotten so used to suppressing it that now I have to try really hard and think about horrible things...so even if I need to cry, I try not too.  I feel better now, but still sappy.  I think it might be because I have a sinus infection and I'm running a temperature.  I get a little mushy when I'm sick.  I suppose hormones could be affecting me too, but I don't count days...guess I should.

I cry when I'm happy too.  I am trying to open up my emotions more again.  *sigh*  I need a vacation.     <--- My head feels like this.  I'm frustrated. 

Hi Jaimey
Just try to finding a quiet place to meditate and just relax and let your thoughts drift. The experience will fluctuate in intensity, from one person to another  But you will be aware of it when it does. I also know what you are saying about having to hold it back had to do that for to many years. But when Cynthia made her presence she did it in a big bang. Scroll up some and look a the picture I posted there, that's what it felt like. A spiritual epiphany ? Possibly. When it comes it will be like something you probably have never experienced before.

Cindy

I'll try to find a quiet place, though that is getting hard.  My roommates want to do EVERYTHING together.  I feel a lot better today though.  I don't think I'm as sick as I was, so maybe that was it.  I've been boiling ginger and drinking it...it works.  I don't know what to do about the tension though.  There is so much tension in my shoulders and it's been there for so long that I haven't a clue how to relax.  *sigh*  Thanks for listening though. 

Hi, Jaimey. You are quite welcome, and do try to find someplace or a time where you can sit in silence then let your thoughts flow, like fall leaves floating down stream, then drift into meditating. Like meditating in preparation to be in harmony with Universe. In simple term it's liken unto dialing the phone number for God's residence.

Post any time you desire, Jaimey, you know I have a soft spot for you all and I thank you all for kindness and support you have all have shown to me.

Cindy