One of the things that got me diagnosed with a personality disorder as a child was what would now be called gender dysphoria and I'm still not diagnosed with that. Throughout my life I have had phases where I wore boys/mens clothes and then got abused for it. I was little and delicate and some other boy in the 5th grade said "You wouldn't make a very good boy". Once I absent mindedly tried to follow guys into the boys restroom and they excluded me. I was in the third grade and felt sad to have no male friends. So I was cross dressing last summer and my family refused to call me by my male name. I don't believe they'll accept me as he/him or Ansel until I have been on T awhile. They aren't transphobic or intolerant they just are busy and can't imagine how important and necessary my GRS will be. I don't know how soon I'll be able to afford to start GRS.

I love those military style shirts with the epaulettes and the pockets.

I started crossdressing when I was 45, I'm 54 now and pretty sure I'm genderfluid. But I won't be nailed down to it!

Hugs, Devlyn

I started around age 15 - I'm 50 now. My wardrobe became steadily more feminized in my 20s

16yrs old,the moment I dressed in a dress I was hooked for I finally felt like me.

I have wanted to since early 20's, but it's only in the last 2 years that I have been able to come out and I will be 50 this year.

Around 8 or 9. However, it was not public.

I have purchased and "purged" parts of wardrobes ever since. Only now am I starting to go in public.

Joanna

I started discovering feminine things when I was 4 or 5 (hosiery).  As I got into grade school and was a latch key kid in 3rd and 4th grade I started finding my way into moms skirts, shoes etc.  I remember rushing home from school so I had time to play dress up.  I'm 43 now so it's been a while As a CD I live comfortably in both worlds... I'm comfortable being male with a side of feminine.

I have a MTF nephew and though we use the male pronouns for him he doesn't always act like a guy.  It makes it tough to always see him as a guy; we struggle and make an effort though.  My hope is that when he gets on testosterone that, that will start change and we can all REALLY see him as the guy he knows he is.  I try to point out the discrepancies I see in a non judgmental way (not sure he see's it like that though).  My point is that speech patterns, gestures, as well as clothing choices communicate male or female (whether we mean to or not).  Hopefully your family can come around and talk to you and treat you like a guy if that is who you want to be/are).

I suppose it's been some 35 years (off and on), and rarely in public...and with very mixed feelings. If I may add something to the conversation, I think a lot of the problem--for many of us--is related to the cultural context in which we live, which is frequently judgmental, shaming, and absolutely insistent one "make a choice" and to fit into the more or less well-established categories.

Even today, I am not sure of who (or what) I am, though I seem to have arrived at a more self-accepting "place" today, and MINIMALLY I have come to see that there seems to be an important aspect or part of myself that is feminine in character or flavor (Jung's "anima?"). I suppose if I had to pick a category, I'd select what the "community" calls "gender-fluid," or possibly a kind of psych. hermaphrodite.

I started crossdressing when I was 5 - 6.  World go in my mom's closet and wear her pretty dresses and pray to be a girl.

I've been doing it ever since. Sometimes in the closet sometimes out,  but it's been part of my life for 30 some years.

-Sara

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I was 11 when I first started crossdressing. I began borrowing my mother`s clothes then eventually progressed to buying my own

4

I remember stealing and wearing my first female clothes at about 5ish... I was in year 1 at school around this time. My big brother told me that the family put me in a dress when I was about age 3 though. I don't remember it though so I can't say that it was guided by me...

Quote from: DrTCH on February 29, 2016, 03:10:38 PM
I suppose it's been some 35 years (off and on), and rarely in public...and with very mixed feelings. If I may add something to the conversation, I think a lot of the problem--for many of us--is related to the cultural context in which we live, which is frequently judgmental, shaming, and absolutely insistent one "make a choice" and to fit into the more or less well-established categories.

Even today, I am not sure of who (or what) I am, though I seem to have arrived at a more self-accepting "place" today, and MINIMALLY I have come to see that there seems to be an important aspect or part of myself that is feminine in character or flavor (Jung's "anima?"). I suppose if I had to pick a category, I'd select what the "community" calls "gender-fluid," or possibly a kind of psych. hermaphrodite.

People just give me a look sometimes on the city bus if I have hairy legs and male clothing. I'm pre T and have delicate features so even if I have a military haircut I can't pass for male.

Since I was about 10.  Then after I got called sick and crazy and was sent away to military school in lieu of a psychiatrist it got less for a while.  There really was no option for me.


Sapere Aude

Quote from: Deborah on March 01, 2016, 03:52:26 AM
Since I was about 10.  Then after I got called sick and crazy and was sent away to military school in lieu of a psychiatrist it got less for a while.  There really was no option for me.


Sapere Aude

Sorry to hear that. I've been in and out of psychiatric facilities all my life. I also have bi polar disorder which is pretty much under control with medicine. Exercise helps me with my periods of mania.

I love military style clothes and collect military memorabilia, read and watch movies about it, but the military wouldn't take me because I'm way too short for a woman or a man and I have a mental illness. I'm sure after the T and the GRS my quality of life will improve a great deal. I wouldn't have wanted to use weapons anyway. I would have wanted to drive a tank or truck or something.

Quote from: Deborah on March 01, 2016, 03:52:26 AM
Since I was about 10.  Then after I got called sick and crazy and was sent away to military school in lieu of a psychiatrist it got less for a while.  There really was no option for me.


Sapere Aude

Ouch! That's awful hon, I'm sorry you had to go through that.  TG issues were such a mystery and taboo years ago that parents didn't know how to deal with them.  The urge to dress was there despite efforts to force us to do otherwise.  I kept things well hidden for fear of just such a thing; turns out my mom is now supportive but I'm not sure she would have been that way when I was a kid.

Quote from: Kerry30Den on March 01, 2016, 11:11:05 AM
Ouch! That's awful hon, I'm sorry you had to go through that.  TG issues were such a mystery and taboo years ago that parents didn't know how to deal with them.  The urge to dress was there despite efforts to force us to do otherwise.  I kept things well hidden for fear of just such a thing; turns out my mom is now supportive but I'm not sure she would have been that way when I was a kid.

Well, it didn't work to change me at all.  But I did develop a pretty high degree of mental and physical toughness through it all.  So, in that respect I guess it was good for me.

In private, it dates far back, but it wasn't really consistent.  If you look at the past 6 months, oh yeah, constantly.

    ~ Winter

Quote from: Deborah on March 01, 2016, 11:52:06 AM
Well, it didn't work to change me at all.  But I did develop a pretty high degree of mental and physical toughness through it all.  So, in that respect I guess it was good for me.

You're a survivor. You should be proud. The mental health facilities were terrible to be in, but they also made me tougher minded. I didn't have any outlets to exercise though which would have made my mental health much better.

I started about 7. My Mom would dress me in the costumes she made for my sisters dance routines. By 17 I was using every opportunity to "dress up". I was married at 25 and my wife caught me. I was divorced at 28. My present wife found out about my dressing but chose to ignore it. I tried to stop. Really did for about 16 years... Then all of a sudden I have all this time on my hands. What with the depression from illness, loss of a job, I began to think about it again and went out and bought a few items. I now have a pretty full wardrobe complete with butt pads and breastforms. At 6 foot 3 and size 15 feet I doubt that I will pass. But who cares really. As Dawn I have dreams. As Don I only have memories.