After an extremely negative night with my mother, then next day she had some extremely negative things to say to me. I won't go into that because I don't want to bring the negative into the forum. However I will post my response. Only because I didn't come this point easily and hope it will help someone else get here too.
"You see things much different than they are.
I'm sorry but I will not do things to satisfy your request. Some of the things I will do but not because you ask them of me. I will do them because i decide the best course of action for myself. If you wish me to get off HRT THEN YOU WISH ME DEAD.
I had the syringe in my arm. I've sat in my own blood. I've stood on the side of 275 as my legs gave out just before jumping. I've been to a point that I will never go back to. I've made the decisions I've had to out of desperation to live for everyone around me. I will live a life, but IT WILL BE THE ONE THAT MAKES ME HAPPY not based on what other people think I should do. So I've said it before. You can be standing next to me supporting the person you raised. Or you can make the comments you've made, but I will not allow you to take me down. I will fight that negativity. Because that negativity damn near killed me. That negativity scared me so bad death was a positive alternative.
And your absolutely right we need a break. If your going to talk to me don't bring hate, homophobia or transphobia. I'm not going to surround myself with that.
I really hope you gain some understanding at some point in your life because you may just miss the most important parts of mine.
In response to your last txt that your "terrified of something happening to me that will take me from you". Re-read the part where I was seconds away from taking my life; twice!! Living the life I tried to live almost did just that. Being scared of being who I felt I needed to be almost did that. So read that part over and over and over. Cause I'll be damned if I let peoples opinions have that effect on me ever again!!!! I'll be damned if peoples decisions for me will ever let me get that far again."
Please respond with maybe your Epiphany story, or maybe something of the sorts.
With Love
Ashley.
