hi!   

Is transition only appropriate when the only other alternative is suicide?
i.e. if its at all possible to postpone or avoid transition should one?

Welcome to Susan's Place. Treatment should start whenever you are ready to face it. I reached the point of suicide because I had to wait for treatment to become available. Today, children at age 3 or 4 start their transition and never have to deal with the pain and depression that we do. Some people on blockers buy time and remain in their birth role because the cost of transitioning is high for them. The remainder of us transition when we desire a normal life where we can be happy.

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In maximum threshold definitely. Really, transistioning is worth it when the opportunity costs are consider. Reasons not too; financially, jobs, and survival. If you are in a situation were transistioning would cost you food and water, then it is not worth it in my opinion. We all live in different countries too and considering that transistioning may not even be safe/death.

I plan on transistioning after I have a nice net egg, before 36, and after my college degree, and after my grandmother passes away. The damage has been done already, bone size, but to live as a middle age man is not my cup of tea. Money is something I need.

Becoming a female right now wouldnt be financially wise.

Its appropriate whenever you feel like it's best for you.

I'm of the opinion you should start transition the moment you realize you're trans cause there's just so much more to transition than just hormones and surgeries.

I transitioned because the alternative was suicide. The only reason the alternative was suicide was because of lack of knowledge and medical info and help from therapists. If I could of at least of taken hormones when I was 18 I would of sold my soul to do that , but I couldn't see the path. I've had a hell of a lot of therapy in my life for various reasons which probably could have as the root cause my dysphoria, but no therapist approached me with that option and I was too afraid to let my secret out. so to answer your question, no. Transition is appropriate when you come to realize who you are.

Quote from: stephaniec on March 06, 2016, 10:05:19 PM
I transitioned because the alternative was suicide.

so for you it wasnt until you were at the brink of suicide that you were willing to transition or willing to come to terms with it and once you came to terms with it transition naturally followed?

Quote from: Lady_Oracle on March 06, 2016, 10:04:01 PM
Its appropriate whenever you feel like it's best for you.

I'm of the opinion you should start transition the moment you realize you're trans cause there's just so much more to transition than just hormones and surgeries.

well, i know for certain im trans but just not sure how far on the spectrum i am. whether where i fall on that spectrum merits transition or not...i know for certain when i was 6 and my parents confronted me about wearing my sisters underwear and then asked me if i wanted to be a girl the answer was YES but i was too embarrassed to say so....that was early 80s though.  i had abstract dysphoria into my teens  and then seemed to acclimate to my body and embrace it to some extent... now many many years later i am in the process of unravelling all this. not sure if what im feeling of late is just the tip of the iceberg or not... but.... anyhow... 

Quote from: joanie on March 06, 2016, 10:43:57 PM
so for you it wasnt until you were at the brink of suicide that you were willing to transition or willing to come to terms with it and once you came to terms with it transition naturally followed?

that's only because I wasn't given the opportunity earlier in my life. It came to the point I had no choice , but it didn't have to be that way if the opportunity was shown to me 40 years earlier. I might look like I'm 30 in my avatar , but I was born in the time of electro shock therapy for people of my proclivity .

Quote from: stephaniec on March 06, 2016, 10:57:53 PM
that's only because I wasn't given the opportunity earlier in my life. It came to the point I had no choice , but it didn't have to be that way if the opportunity was shown to me 40 years earlier. I might look like I'm 30 in my avatar , but I was born in the time of electro shock therapy for people of my proclivity .

electro shock is no joke :/

no it isn't and I'm glad my parents were looking out for me. I  would of been a prime candidate. I was basically a mute and a crossdresser . They would ran that electricity just to try to pry my mouth open.

Hi Joanie it's best once you hit a point where you need to. Often it can be before you hit the point of suicide or transition. I knew where I was heading before transitioning this time around and considering I had nearly died before I knew had to transition this time around. The key is you should only do it if that is what you need or want to do. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Really, I think there's a range in being trans that goes between mild dysphoria (enough to realize your gender identity doesn't quite align with your sex) and severe dysphoria to the point of being suicidal because of it. I'm not sure it needs to get to the severe end to be 'appropriate', rather it needs to be past the mild part enough where you know you can't and don't want to live the rest of your life presenting as you are. Even if you understand you can't live the rest of your life without transitioning, I don't think that necessarily means you've become suicidal. Only you can really determine this, but I'd say think long and hard about it, and talk to a therapist. If you have doubts at all, then you need to think about it. Transitioning isn't easy, and obviously can have lasting repercussions.

Also making no decision is a decision as well. dēcīdere literally, to cut off. When you decide theres no point in going back to the same past either.

I didnt even know what I was dealing with until maybe 15 years ago when I found this place.. that was 32 years of not really understanding why I thought the way I did. I spent alot of time hiding it. I should have started 15 years ago. For me it was being ready, ... and I still have doubts, but keep pushing forward. Recently... in the last year, I realized exactly what I needed to do and why and knew my problems would only get worse if I kept waiting. Thats when I made the decision to do something. I also have the right life at the moment to make the move.. so maybe things fall together for a reason.

I was suicidal and bi polar before, now Im pretty happy though the transition period does bring its own problems, so be prepared for that.

In My opinion the appropriate time to transition is whenever You know/feel it is the right time for You .I believe that if You leave it until You are on the verge of Suicide you are well past the point that You should be seriously considering Transition .I think that as in My case there comes a point when everything in Your life is indicating that this is what You need to do so all You need to do is Accept that it is inevitable bite the bullet and Go for it .That is what I did and I have never ever looked back .My life has been so much better since I became the girl I had always been .I am happier and that reflects on My friends ,Family and Work colleagues and they respond better to Me .I have recently been asked if I would be willing to Join a steering group within My company for LGBT staff to represent the Transgender side of LGBT and that I regard as a huge compliment as I would be the visible Face of transgender within a Huge Global corporation (no pressure then LOL) Once  You make the start Life will start to improve I believe

Sometimes it's dependent on finance- it is for me, anyway. Say your career is being fickle, or even the fact that you are trying to make money to pay for hormones, therapy, surgery, etc... If you are not in the position to do so, that can be a very strong halt. Not that surgery is the major thing about transitioning, but for me it's vital, otherwise I don't see the point if I can't do it the way I want to. There was no transitioning for me if I couldn't allow myself that, not even mental/emotional.

Finance was the pre-cursor for me. I know that people have worked around finance, have insurance, just being resourceful- I couldn't do that. I only felt it was time when I didn't have to worry. I still do worry but that's just because worrying is a past time for me.

I've felt this way since I was a child, it only made sense for me to pursue it when it's feasible, because I've waited this long anyway.

"When is transition appropriate?"

When you know it would make you happier. 

Hugs, Devlyn

I had a plan in place; I realized that I needed several years of HRT and FFS before I could transition, but that was what I needed to do; everyone is different, so we have different timelines.

Joanie,

I think many of us don't really know an exact time. Hence, the suggestion of when you are ready.  I found therapy very helpful to guide me to make choices.

I am sorry I had not noticed. Are you currently in therapy?

Good luck, love, acceptance and a smooth path(wherever it takes you).

With warmth,

Joanna

Quote from: Joanna50 on March 07, 2016, 11:56:07 AM
Joanie,

. Are you currently in therapy?

Good luck, love, acceptance and a smooth path(wherever it takes you).

With warmth,

Joanna

I am in therapy. Tomorrow will be my third appointment My therapist seems to feel that I have the answers within and his approach is to ask me questions and such to help me find my answers, or something like that haha. The main thing i came to him seeking clarity on was whether or not to transition but it seems like one of my sources is hesitation is whether or not i am Trans enough to be happy post transition.... Its SUCH a confusing mess!   Ive also attended a trans discussion group at the local lgbt center per his suggestion which was pretty cool. It was also my first non halloween outing fully dressed.. Since then ive started wearing girl stuff out more often, but without makeup and clothes that, although women's, could be worn by a guy so its a subtle thing. I probly just look oddly cuter than usual, a bit more femme...

p.s. You folk are reallly nice !