Hello Yana.
Yes, you sound like I used to be. Man by day, woman at night. I lived that way until I couldn't any more and my true self came to the forefront and that's who I am today. Not everyone is pleased but they didn't live inside of me or walk in my shoes so they had no idea what it's like.
As you are probably aware, there is much information to be gleaned from this site and people who know their stuff and don't intimidate. I hope that you'll have a good time here and learn much that will help you along.
All the best and take care,
Love,
Clare