The Fear of Getting Clocked

http://transgenderuniverse.com/2016/03/14/the-fear-of-getting-clocked/

Transgender Universe/By Mila Madison - Mar 14, 2016

"The Fear of Getting Clocked

For those of us who are transgender, the paranoia of being clocked can often be a big issue. You may be walking down a busy street and it seems like everyone is staring. You might be in a store or out at a club. You start to look at people's faces and wonder what mat be going through their mind. Are they really looking at me?  Maybe they think I am pretty? That would be a great reason. In my mind however, they are probably clocking me as transgender."




I used to feel like that lots really self conscious , not so much these day tho  i get clocked all the time  like everyday  its how you feel inside about yourself thats carried me through , ive found most ppl dont really care its just there will always be one that makes a deal of it . Kinda just get used to it 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

For me, it is not so much the fear of getting clocked - I've been clocked a number of times and nothing bad ever happens.

It is the fear of not being passable that being clocked brings up. I want to blend in as a member of my gender, not stand out.

Fear of not being passable is not exactly the same as the fear of being clocked.

Yer. Its so hard hey to just be me     Blend in thats all i want


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I try to put it out of my mind nowadays. Everyday passerbys I don't think see it....but closer friends who get to know me and maybe here how different my voice can get when I get lazy.....or maybe mannerisms / reactions that may not seem feminine or something. Those who experience those may definitely begin to suspect....thankfully very few ever 'ask' about it....they tend to take a cue from the fact that I never mention it.

I used to have the fear, but now that I accept myself, it's not that big of deal, and I don't have a problem with coming out to people, because my shame is gone, but I don't do disrespect, if someone misgenders me, I will not hesitate to correct them, because they are clearly being rude on purpose.

I don't feel I have shame in it but at the same time I just don't want to deal with explaining it anymore. I did that for years and I've been done with it for years. Theres more to me than being trans and people when they learn you are trans (or were trans or whatever) they tend to get caught up in that.

even though I think I do all right, I still get hit with a major panic attack once I a while if I'm in a crowded store and sitting In the coffee shop and looking at my webcam at myself.

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones with passing privilege and I don't even wear make up.  Honestly though, sometimes I feel guilty.  My voice is another matter. I never speak in public EVER.  Instead I gesture with head nods or pointing.  In situations that require speech I write things down on a pad I carry around with me and pretend to have lost my voice.  It works pretty well.  As long as I keep my mouth shut I'm never misgendered or stared at.  I get the door held for me and breaks in traffic.  I get cute little smiles from children that really just melts my heart. One of the reasons I don't use my voice is that it totally throws people for a loop. They start dropping things and stumbling around in such a state of shock.  I had this one store clerk start giving me change back just after I paid with a credit card. I've had them bag my items and forget to ring me up. I think I pass so good they are just freaked out to hear a male sounding voice come out of a 105 pound 5' 6" tall little female. So to avoid that kind of crap I just keep my mouth shut.