Has anyone ever been so tired of life that you'd just want to sleep forever? I have and am feeling this way. No I don't want to die. I'm too big of a pussy to do that, but honestly I wish there was a human kill switch that I could flip and just drop out of reality for a while. I'm not particularly mad or sad at anything. Just tired is all. Between medications, making myself believe I can do things that I can't, you know the normal stuff. I just want to let go and sleep for a long time. I have no motivations in life. Yeh the prospect of a good paying job is cool and all, but I just don't want to continue with this life.No matter how much I try to just handle things the way I know I can, things just never go the way I want or need them. Seriously I'm the golden standard of bad luck in reality. I think the only reason I'm still here is because I'm unlucky enough to not have a backbone to go through with it. This is just a random ramble and I'm typing the majority of it with my eyes closed because the tears from yawning are making my eyes burn. I tear up more when I yawn than when I cry....because I don't cry.  I'm gonna go to sleep and maybe I'll be lucky enough to wake up 2 years from now or something. I need a good rest. Maybe that's all I need. Haven't had a good decent rest in years.

I'm so sorry!

I felt exactly like that just before I began to suspect I'm trans. I can't imagine what it must be like to still feel that way after!

Yes.

Similar to Dee, I was like this before I came to thought of being trans. Only took about 50 years. Had a similar feeling a few times since. It seems to have gotten better lately.

I have been dealing with self loathing for a long time. I'm not saying I am fixed but I think I am getting better.

I don't know if I have the bad luck you are speaking about but I had always felt cursed.

I hope things turn around for you. It is hard to be that tired.

With warmth,

Joanna

Same here. If I had an easy and painless way of killing myself I probably would. I wish I was an American so I'd have a handgun lieing around. It's taking me months to get my mind into gear (again) and give myself a reason to get up in the morning. I'd give anything to wake up someplace in the past so I can start my life from the beginning and have no one know me. But oh well. I'll just keep going through the motions and maybe one day I'll get better. Feel free to vent any time.

I can kinda relate, because I'm trans. But I hope the future is brighter. Maybe thing would be better after transistion. First I have to be adult, get a yes by the therapists and then begin medical transistion. Anyway, I have a plan; a plan to be a activist that can change the world. I hope to make it easier to be trans in my home country, that's something I may fix with activism. Only 20% get medical treatment, rest of them get refused in my home country Norway according to International Amnesty and LGBT-groups.

I've felt like this.  At first, I thought it might be my mid-life crisis rearing its ugly head.  Then, I thought it might be because I've been in the same job for over 20 years (military).

Now, I think it is a little of all of the above with transgender confusion mixed in.

I think I'm ready to move to a small log cabin up in the mountains for some peace and quiet away from the bustle of life.  Once Amazon figures out their drone delivery system, think I'll be set :-)

I too often feel that way. In fact, rarely a day goes buy that I don't consider suicide. I know that I'll never go through with it; I tried once. I took every pill in the house: a bottle of aspirin, antibiotics, sleeping pills, trazadone ,  Paxil and a few others I can't remember. It felt horrible. I wained in and out if consciousness and vomited slot. For about 3 days I was ill. I scared the hell out of my wife and mother. As bad as life can be at times, as miserable as I sometimes feel the thought of putting myself and loved ones through that again keeps me from doing it. I still keep these feelings bottled up, hence the reason I sought out Susan's; desperation sent me looking for others who have had similar desires. Stay strong. Know that you are loved. I dont know you personally, but in spirit. I am who I am because of who we all are. We are all connected and harming oneself harms the whole of everything.

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I feel like this right now.

And It continues. A decent rest is all I want. It's all I need I think, but I've yet to have a good sleep. I have a good bed....or at least I'm told it's good, but I can't sleep without rolling all over the place and waking up every 20 minutes. I feel like my head is going to explode at any moment. To a certain extent I don't think hormones would help me with this. I really think there is something going on upstairs that's keeping me awake. When I do finally sleep and I don't wake up I don't get any rested sleep. My dad just shrugs it off with some stupid sarcastic remark or a suggestion he knows I can't even try. I really think my dad enjoys this. Some part of me thinks he's either a sadist or bipolar. Which ever the case I want to know myself out and sleep forever.

Sorry you feel this way and hope you pick up soon.

It does sound like you might be depressed, sometimes the symptoms include lethargy and numbness and desire to sleep all the time. If you're not already, maybe have a chat to someone in real life who might be able to help you. The other issue could be a nutritional deficiency - iron or certain vitamin groups - could leaving you feeling very lethargic. Definitely worth getting a doc to check that out just in case.

Oh I know I'm depressed. That's been established before a therapist could tell me. Been to enough doctors to make the offense and defense of a football team. Even though I said that hormones probably wouldn't help, I'm gonna go that route anyways. I've taken enough anti depressants, vitamin rx's, and other things I can't remember. I'm gonna set up with a hopeful therapist in my city tomorrow and make an appointment. Since I've been through the therapist limbo more than once I'll make sure to get to the point about why I'm there.

Iv'e felt like that before Iv'e felt so down nobody could even help it got to the point where i was very unstable
i won't go into details but it's a battle one that will try and sneak up on you. Just remember things get hard
but don't let them beat you down. To escape my sadness i started going outside and getting active and when outside didn't help i did things i loved doing and things that kept me happy like drawing&writing.
It helped me keep going up the hill instead of down. Sometimes it still gets me to and when it does its not good but i continue to do them little things and they tend to keep me from going down a slope of sadness.
Anyways that is my advice.