I'm always logging onto websites for transgender people and whenever females are inside the room
there is always triggering words and it continues without care that men are inside the room.
This isn't referring to strictly one website or group i actually occasionally see this happen many places
over time and its started to make me wonder why people do that, Don't they know what not to say/do?
People make me wonder a lot it seems i guess i just don't get it.....i don't get why our community would sometimes the blind to one another in a way not forever but for moments i guess mistakes happen.
However wouldn't we know by now? :/ (i didn't know where to put this it was more a vent/question)

I am a very old timer with my surgery 33 years ago. I attended group therapy and triggers were never mentioned. Fast forward to May of last year, I joined this site for voice surgery information and I learned several things about the current state of treatment. One of them was the concept of triggers. I understand the concept that body parts can cause discomfort. I can also see a problem where what one gender wishes to obtain, the other wishes to get rid of. It might explain something I have noticed where the guys tend to stay in the FTM section where the girls are all over the site. The girls may not feel the discomfort to the degree that the guys do and we may not be aware of how triggering our language could be. We may also not be aware of all the words that are triggering. Possibly we need a more open conversation to learn what the other side thinks and feels.

 That sounds like a good idea! and heck! it could help not only people here but maybe people could carry that learning and experience to other places and eventually have it be a little more known.

People aren't always aware of what may be triggering to others. Sure, it sucks but really it's simply impossible to know what each person finds triggering unless they tell you and even then you would probably forget what to or not to say in front of each individual. You would think that within our own community everyone would be more aware than the general public but that's not always the case. People need to not only work on being more sensitive towards possible triggers but also need to work on being prepared in the event that they are triggered. Understanding has to come from both sides. After all, people shouldn't just spout off offensive things but they also can't be expected to walk on eggshells all the time for fear of accidentally triggering someone. No matter what the subject is we're always going to come across things we don't want to hear or see that make us uncomfortable, it's a fact of life.

IMO, folks should be working towards addressing what triggers them. I don't think your emotional well-being can improve if you block yourself off from things that bother you. Yes - in certain moments maybe when you're already emotionally fragile it makes sense to avoid and remove yourself, but at the end of the day I don't think you can expect things to improve for you if that is the pattern you continually find yourself repeating.

Like Contravene said, I believe that triggering is a two-way street. You can't expect someone to know what they don't know, so you have to be willing to explain what offense has occurred if you expect others to refrain from using that language or discussing those topics in the future. You can't make people understand if you're not willing to have the discussion, which means confronting what triggers you. It's unfortunate that some understandings aren't universal, but really triggering language isn't universal either. And things change. Words or phrases I may have found offensive at the start of my transition aren't likely to get a rise out of me now.

In the mean time, what I could suggest is avoiding environments that are real-time, like chat rooms where things pop up and the flow of conversation is constant. For the most part here, if a thread could be triggering, we use trigger warnings in the subject and you could avoid it entirely if you choose. It's important that people are considerate of people and supportive of how they feel, but you can't know what hasn't been explained to you.

Honestly I am not fond of the word "triggering" as the sense that it is used on the internet lessens the meaning, IMO, as compared to the actual idea of psychological triggers as they refer to things like PTSD.  Also, people who have diagnosed "triggers" spend years working to overcome them so they can function in the real world while, on the Internet and amongst people who spend a lot of time on the Internet, people seem to expect the world to change for them. 

It is kind of how people get angry if you don't list "trigger warnings" on fanfic--a very new idea that has only come about in the past few years.  Well, guess what?  Books, movies, lectures, interactions with other human beings... These things do not contain trigger warnings.  The closest are vague warnings that some material might disturb people. 

I know this is not a popular thing to say on the Internet, but as a former special needs life skills teacher I believe that part of living a healthy life is learning to manage your triggers so that you can participate in life and interact with other human beings without fear.  The world is not going to walk on eggshells for you, and, to be honest, they have no responsibility to.  While it is great if people do go out of their way to make you more comfortable, it is your responsibility to work on yourself.  I know the Internet has normalized the idea of triggers, but these are not healthy things that everyone has that should just be accepted at face value.  They are psychological issues that need working on in therapy so one can enjoy a normal life.  Accepting triggers as the norm is similar to accepting an anxiety disorder as the norm and never leaving one's house because it makes you too anxious--it's just not a healthy way to live.  I think the way the Internet portrays triggers undermines this and makes many people (especially young people) believe that the world will be accommodating them when, in reality, they need to learn to function in the world.

I don't mean this as harsh or a criticism of people with triggers, but I do feel the need to speak out on this subject when it comes up because I feel that people are going to get an unpleasant surprise when they have had so many Internet friends walking on eggshells around them and they go out into the real world where trying to talk about your "triggers" will make people question your mental health and will probably turn you into the pariah of the workplace.  We should be trying to FIX our trigger issues, not just avoiding them.

FtMitch - I gotta agree. The word doesn't mean the same thing for people with PTSD. For my part, I'm very uncomfortable with body parts talk, especially when it gets really really really detailed. But it isn't "triggering" in the sense that I then have a flashback or a body memory. And either way, it is something that I do have to learn to deal with. The only thing I guess that I would really wish that people wouldn't do, is for girls to tell me how "lucky" I am to have the physical equipment that they would like to have. That seems to indicate a certain lack of empathy that I otherwise would have expected, and (and I know it is NOT meant to do this - just how it feels is all) makes me feel like there must be something wrong with me to want to get rid of it. Just, you know, not everyone thinks that being a woman is the most wonderful thing in the world. So yeah, I do tend to hang with the guys on boards and in chats for that reason.