Hey. I just joined this community in search of people I can talk to who relate to me. So... a little about me... I am a FTM transgendered person. I am twenty years old and live in North Carolina. Sadly, although my mind is of a man's, I go around as a woman. I have told my mom about what I feel, but it sent her into depression and she had to take anti-depressant drugs. I couldn't stand to hear her cry all the time and tell me about her dreams about me getting cut apart. Feeling horrible about it, mostly because of how close I am to my mother, I told her that I think I was just going through a phase and I haven't said anything about it since. That was about a year ago. I have been to a therapist to analyze me on what she thought about and she couldn't quite figure me out. I work as a vet tech and I absolutely love my job. I am afraid that if I started to change now into what I feel inside, I will lose the job I love so much, along with my mother who is the most important person in my life. I know it wasn't smart to take back what I had told her about being transgendered, but it hurt too much. I don't know what to do.

Welcome to Susan's Place...I hope you learn much and enjoy your stay!

Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre

hey, we got lots of FTM, lots of everything, even a few vets.

Your situation sucks. Trouble is, it's not anything you particularly chose or can change. The idea of hurting mum brings a lump to my throat. Hopefully she adjusts as you do.

Here's to a new year that feels better.


Px

Yo Zack! welcome to susans place bro

Hello!
Welcome to Susan's!

Enjoy your stay!

Hi Zack, welcome to Susan's I do pray that you will find the answers to your many questions her. There is much knowledge to be had here.

Cindy

Hi Zack,

Welcome from another relative newbie here. It's a nice place, stick around.

I'm a bit older, but in a similar position of concern as far as work and stuff goes, and complicatedly I worry as much about losing my mom, dad and brother because of transition in much the same way you do. Sometimes I wake up with the nightmare of getting off the plane back home in South Africa and them rejecting me the moment I walk through the Arrivals gate.

Ultimately though I've had to realise that I have to be happy with myself or I'll just end up hating them for it, so this year I've made the decision, promise and resolution to transition in earnest - I've done my part by providing information, by taking things slow and by "making sure". The people who truly love and value me will hopefully find it within themselves to accept me as I'm meant to be.

Try to be true to yourself, or you'll always regret and resent it.

Lots of Luck and Love,

Simone

Wellcome Zack!

Thank you all for your welcoming and advice! You guys are all great. I feel that this place is going to be a very warm and happy community where I wont be afraid to talk about anything. Thanks again!

Welcome Zack.

Hope all will go well for you and I'm sure you'll meet all the other guys here soon.

I think you'll find the 'warm, happy community' you're looking for.

If you haven't yet, please read over the site rules: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html

Enjoy your stay and I'll be looking forward to reading more of your posts. 

Nichole

Hi Zack and Renate, it is saddening to hear of those who loose families through the process of transitioning to be the inner self. I lost family as well, but as hard as it was I I wanted to have a life of my own and to be free to be who I am, I had to let go of what ever obstacles of the past. I will send prayers for the both of you that you find your peace and happiness in the future.

Cindy

Hi Renate, "Hee, hee, hee," I have often wondered that myself. Someone else in the group was suggesting that maybe she should show up at her parents all gussied up and realy shock them. As much fun as that might be I just don't think it would be worth wasting our time on. The only thing that makes me feel bad is that both my sister and I are getting up in years and no telling when which of us two will buy their ticket for the gray hound bus destnation to the great beyond first.

Cindy

That's OK, I'm going to get abducted by aliens and live forever.

Cindy

Hello Zack and welcome to Susan's!

Thank you for your introduction.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay

tink