Hi all, it is good to be here, so you may as well hear my story. When I tell it, please excuse me if I fail to use the terms for things you use yourselves and understand that I am not familiar with those terms.
Yes, I knew Jill from school and yes it was 45 years ago so if my arithmetic is right we both have our 60th birthdays this year, so plenty of experience of life there between us! I remember Jill from her previous existence and her nickname at school, which is the same as a Harry Potter character. As a side note, I did know somebody called Harry Potter many years back before the books were written, but when this character appears in the Harry Potter book and movies it always made me think of Jill, more often than Harry Potter himself remind me of my other friend!
Anyway, my reason for being here is that nearly 18 years ago my wife gave birth to a baby. At the time we thought our little baby was a girl. Like any father I felt proud of my child. I looked around the hospital ward at all the other babies and was absolutely convince we had the most beautiful baby in the ward. My own childhood was not too happy, I got into trouble a few times but eventually managed to get over it and sort myself out. Listen to the Rolling Stones song "Respectable" (showing my age again, yes I'm a nearly sexagenarian Rolling Stones fan!) and it just about sums me up. I'm not sure that my parents did the best job of bringing me up but I resolved to be a better parent than my parents ever were, and I genuinely believe I have always tried to do what I thought was in my child's best interests, even if we disagreed and even if I may have been wrong a few times.
For the past almost 18 years my wife and I have brought our child up as a girl, in particular trying to avoid the mistakes that were made with me in my childhood. I taught the young person I believed to be my daughter to respect the rights of others and to stand up for herself as a woman in a man's world and not to be racist or heterosexist. There are times when I thought it would have been nice to have a son as well (in fact, I never see my son) so that he could share some of my male interests, including football, but that was not to be the case and I have a child who has excelled both academically and I am really proud of the principles my child has formed through thinking things out. My child, like me, hates groups like UKIP and their racist ideologies and it is great to have an ally in the home.
By now I'm sure you all know where this story is going. During the past 20 years I have come to know a few people who I realised were transgender, all of whom are male to female. Two of them I have known as acquaintances rather than as friends, neither well enough to discuss their previous lives, although one of them is a local electrician who is just about one of the few tradespeople who has never tried to rip us off, always charges a fair price and provides a decent service and is highly recommended! My child has had a few friends over the past few years who are transgender, and I have had no issue with befriending transgender people at all. When my child self-identified as bisexual a few years ago I had no issue with that, but is was still a surprise a couple of months ago when the person who I had thought was my daughter told me they were transgender. I really had not picked up on any signs, even though my only real experience of contact with transgender people is with men who became women. I still believe my child to be mistaken in their self-diagnosis as transgender as there are just too few male characteristics in my child's behaviour, eg. the display of tantrums and a high-pitched voice when she gets annoyed! Nevertheless I am taking it seriously and while I remain unconvinced I obviously want to learn more.
It does however greatly concern me that my child could be subject to not only a significant series of major operations in future and to all the abuse from those elements of society, particularly christians and other religious fundamentalists, not to mention the high rates of self-harming among the LGBT population.
I hope to learn from all the trans people here and will do my best to be respectful. However, there may be something at one time which I post which may seem clumsy, due to my lack of first hand experience. I realise that this is your space, not mine, and beg the forgiveness in advance of anybody who I may inadvertently offend. There is no intention to do so, but sometimes when you are with people who are different it can be uneasy. As well as learning from the group, I do hope that I will be able to offer something. I can imagine that many of you will have experienced difficulty with your parents and hope that by being here as a parent I can help those who need it to rebuild bridges with your own parents. I know what it is like to be the parent of somebody who thinks they are trans, and if needed I can comment from a parent's prospective, which I trust will be my contribution to our community
