Perhaps a key question to consider here is, do you WANT to be a woman? Use the stereotypes to help guide you, too.
E.G.:
Do you want to be with a man?
Do you want to be submissive?
Do you want to be cherished? (As opposed to, say, respected.)
Since this sort of came from nowhere, as you indicated, I'd suggest analyzing your life right now. The above examples are points of reference, using stereotypes, to explore feelings and thoughts.
You might find when you reflect on the past few weeks or months, that you've been stressed out of your mind, and just need some cuddling and affirmation of being valuable. Reassurance that there's something special about you. I.E., you might be lonely, and this is how your subconscious is talking to you. Or maybe you're in charge of a massive project, and don't feel you're ready for it? Might just be you've never done this scope or complexity of project; might be that you always had someone you could count on to back you up, and this time you're flying solo.
One thing to consider, too: How does "straight" apply to the transgendered? Is an MTF straight if they like Men? Or if they like Women? DNA says one thing; sexual role suggests another (but is not necessarily the stereotypical gender role)... And then from the answers there, you'd have to consider, is a Mosaic individual straight, gay, both, neither? (They have multiple DNAs in them, so how to you decide?) Chimeras, too. Hermaphrodites.
And then, after you think that all through... Does it really matter any more...? I'm male, but Lesbian in outlook. No interest in men so far. Bad childhood in some ways, so maybe I'm not even TG, but just dealing with a dissociative disorder, I despise men and what I learned was masculinity...? While I identified with women, because I spent most of my formative years around women, and liked my Mom a lot more...? (Not making light of this, it would be devastating for someone who IS masculine to take this path, and then find out it makes things even worse...)
I'd say, leave the "straight/Gay/Bi/Lesbian?Asexual/Polysexual/Pansexual/(etc)" out of the equation. You are attracted to...? Someone else will label it. You've decided, or discerned, attraction X. It can change, too, so... Who cares? (OT, there are boards where people have reported using pr0n to reprogram their sexuality. We could argue whether they were in the closet, whether it is real, whatever; we usually search a certain complement, though. So arguing the origin is a moot point, the important part is that you recognize the complement, and trace it to a source, and then you take steps to modify it a little, and see if it "fixes" things, or intensifies the feelings, especially feelings of, "RUN AWAY!!!" or such. I speak from some experience, enjoying the whole sissy/trans sub-genre, but hating that they're so often paired with men and placed in a degrading/ non-loving role. Whereas, playing a loving role, whether with men, women, other T*, that's all good. It's the emotion of the act that makes it worthwhile... A feminine thing. And my preference is for women, personally, or the feminine complement. So... I'm the Top, but want an emotional connection with a feminine Bottom, yet I have a male body and probably male DNA. But you see how we end up racing to define something, and still come to an uncertain conclusion, because the words aren't too precise? And some of the words are verbotten here, too...)
Just some suggestions on how to think it through.
After your thinking, if you want to play around, I'd suggest looking into online assignments, and either follow them or take the gist and experiment. E.G., get yourself a bra and panties and wear them for a weekend, that sort of thing. Shave your body and put on nylons. Etc. Look for a local TG/CD group and do a meet.
And compare it to a weekend spent being as Alpha Alpha Male as you can be, gaming women all weekend, that sort of thing. Think Lucifer from the TV show. See how you like it. Likely you'll find parts of each that work, and you might find a few playmates, too.
YOLO, so know thyself becomes really important. Trust me, you won't be on your deathbed saying, "I wish I'd worked more at the office." ;-)
-Dianna
