I'm in dire need of some advice.
I'm 17 years old.
My family aren't the most accepting of people--especially my father.
I feel as if I may be transgender but I'm afraid to express my feelings to them.
I definitely know my father won't take it well and I fear how he would react.
I don't live with him and I don't think my mother would kick me out, but I'm not sure what he would do.
I'm thinking of maybe waiting until I'm eighteen before I inform my family and cut contact with my dad but I really don't want to wait and I don't really want to do that to him.
So far I've told a friend and a school counselor about it a year ago but I haven't told anyone since.
It's killing me keeping it inside but I'm worried about telling others.
What should I do?

Hello and welcome 

Here are a few resources that could help you:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

Could the counselor help with coming out to your mum ?

You might also look at lgbt resources, or at plannedparenthood. They might have a referral to a gender therapist.
Another resource could be PFLAG.


*hugs*

Hey Manatee!

Welcome to Susan's    Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

I guess what I'd say is to wait until you at least feel more sure about your gender identity and what you would like to do about it. You say you think you might be trans, so it might be good to get a sense of what that means to you before you start telling other people. 

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Cheers

Grace

I think it would really help to have allies. Are there any family members or friends, especially adults, who would be sympathetic and helpful? If someone could speak to your parents it might help.

If and when you come out to your parents, it would be helpful to know these facts:
* You didn't choose to be trans.
* It won't go away on its own and no one has ever been able to "fix" trans people.
* It is serious. Severe anxiety and depression are common among people who don't treat it.
* When trans people get treatment they live normal, happy lives.

Please find someone to confide in. It's very destructive to keep a secret to yourself. And give yourself credit for dealing with a very difficult situation. When you're not sure of your parents' support it makes the whole things ten times harder to deal with.

Hugs, and good luck, Manatee. I hope this helps.

Welcome to Susans,

You are in a tough spot. It's great you spoke to a counselor already. I would highly recommend you visit a therapist to work through much of this. They can help you clearly figure things out that would take much more time on your own. Many schools even have therapists available. If you get to a point where you believe you are transgender, it would be helpful to find a therapist who specializes in gender.

I understand the need for some people to cut off family members. I usually advocate for just dropping contact for awhile. Leave the door open. Some people surprise us and change to accept us. You will never know till it happens. Keep in mind, I am by no means telling you what to do. It is just an option. Everyone must eventually choose for themselves.

I also wanted to let you know that there is a section here that is mostly for younger members(under 18).

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,496.0.html

While most of us are happy to respond to questions, you may get a perspective from a peer that might be different than one from me( that would have been about 31 years ago). Not that the topics change, just the view.

You are welcome here and you are not alone.

With warmth,

Joanna

therapist

 You said you spoke about your feelings to your school counselor, you could possibly go to that counselor and express your fears to her about what might happen if you open up to your parents.  When you are ready, have her arrange a meeting with your mother where all of you can sit down and address both your feelings, along with your concerns. 

But do not rush, if you need to explore a bit more then I would suggest reading on various articles and exploring more on how you feel, doing this well help provide more clarity.

Also remember that no matter who you are, you will always be loved and even if things seem bleak at the moment, just know that there will be light in your future, I promise. 

With love and a thousand blessings

Meadow