(This post is new because I pose a new question. Was my transition a mistake if I'm this upset about losing an acting career over needing to save for FFS?) I auditioned and was accepted into a well-known acting school, but I can't attend because I'm having to save everything I have for FFS. Now I really feel horrible. The agent said my audition was really good and that means a lot because she came off as a drill sergeant and very strict and selective. I feel horrible at the missed opportunity. I even got suicidal and needed to call my therapist on the weekend and called a suicide prevention lifeline. I want to cry because acting looked like it would have been so much fun. Now I am in so much pain. I feel angry now that the FFS surgery caused this. What should I do? Please help me.

my opinion:

-make sure this thing is real, not only a way to get people pay . Are people really hired afterwards ? Do they have a career ?

-As you could postpone education there you can postpone your FFS. You can add half a year , or what is needed, making free funds this way.

-there is not only this one surgeon for FFS.
There are others ... don't know how good they are on caucasians but here is an option with a price:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,204651.msg1830163.html#msg1830163
There is a member who has a counseling service ... you can ask her for ffs in thailand
naeree.com. There are others with similar services.
And many people had good results with Facial Team.

Baseline:
listen to your intuition and postpone what you feel is best.


*hugs*

Agree with everything Laura said. Please look into this acting school offer more. It really did sound like a scam designed to take your money.

And unless you really have your heart set on a particular FFS surgeon, I'd do some more digging. I'm sure you could find something in your price range if you were willing to look around or travel.

I'm inclined to agree with the others, so many people aspire to be actors and so few make a living out of it. It does indeed sound dodgy.

I would add though that it isn't the FFS that has stopped you from this particular pursuit, it is your belief that you even need FFS that is the issue. Having seen the one picture of you it would seem to me that there is nothing about your facial structure that is the problem with your ability to "pass", as we discussed it is your presentation (masculine clothing and hairstyle amongst other things) that is most likely the reason people gender you as male. Those issues can be addressed a lot more easily, a lot more cheaply and with much less pain, but as long as you remain anxious about passing then you may not make a lot of progress.

Put your obsession with FFS aside and deal with your stress and anxiety issues first.

I Live across the street from Northwestern University where their acting school is the tops in the nation and a lot of the people who make it in acting come from. What do you think the % of those going to theater here make it in professional acting?

Acting is highly competitive and even those who are in it have to constantly change things in order to keep getting roles. Secondly, as others have said acting school could teach you many skills that you will need to be able to act professionally. Research, research, research in regards to FFS, surgeons, and the place you have been looking at. Please do see a therapist and work on the stress and anxiety because those can affect everything else. Hugs
Mariah

The therapist comes in here to balance these two.


Unless its Julliard or some other world class top notch school, I would understand with their selectivity(with bonafide admission papers), but even with a top notch acting school, few make it. Like in writing, people get their MFA or BFA, but most struggle to make ends meet, the extreme few make it to the top. Research, research research, consult with bonafide top acting schools, to see if you can duplicate the same results, if not, then it calls into suspect that particular school or talent scout you allude too. In the entertainment field, always have connections, to know who's who and not get scammed or have somebody rip off your original work, since its happened to a friend of mine, scammers are out there.

Always believe in yourself and your ability to make the right decision, consulting a therapist is a great decision, if you get yourself down, a great friend(s), who doesn't doubt your decision is great too.

Acting school sounds like a scam. At least you know FFS will be a benefit in the long run. Given the two options, FFS because it has short term and long term benefits.

Now... Is it something you even want?

I went to one of those acting/modeling school "tryouts" during my early 20s, and as I recall, a few of their representatives gave a presentation, and then they introduced the main man at the school, the guy that could make your dream a reality; enter middle aged eccentric looking guy wearing a suit that was so wrinkled, he must been stepped on a 2 kiloton wrinkle bomb, and if his eccentric presentation wasn't enough to make him seem legitimate, he spoke with an English accent to seal the grift.  After Mr. Hollywood finished his spiel, they told us they were going to begin announcing names, and if your name was called please exit to the back of the room, and after they finished calling the names that told the rest of us "congratulations, you all made it!" and then they segued into selling us a photo shoot for our modeling portfolio.  I was unimpressed, and could tell the whole set up was a scam; someone opened the door and I could see the people that left our room, were right outside the door, and were more than likely told "congratulations, you all made it!

Wow Ms. Grace, you gave tough love. You must be really passionate about what you wrote in your post because normally you would never say a word like obsession. Thank you for showing you care.

These were some of the best replies I have ever gotten. Thank you everyone. For now, I'm not spending the money on the acting school, but it does still feel tempting.

Quote from: blossom on April 07, 2016, 07:50:27 PM
These were some of the best replies I have ever gotten. Thank you everyone. For now, I'm not spending the money on the acting school, but it does still feel tempting.

One thing I passionately believe is that every goal or ambition has a thousand pathways to it and they go to very interesting places. I started training as a Ship builder and now work on cloud computing systems alongside a girl who did tv Ads as a teen then real estate and now is an IT professional.

It sounds like you love acting and performing so join as many community theater groups you can even in non-acting back-stage roles and make it known what you want to do. Passion is infectious and you will be amazed at the people connections and opportunities that will come your way. Also try and find an agent that does casting calls for local tv ads or the like as they are often looking for variety and diversity rather than standard "hollywood" pretty and you can take every opportunity to hone your craft and if you are professional  (on time, present as expected and, do what they ask quickly) you will get called back a lot.

Thank you Lilijames! You deserve your +1 reputation for the reply.

Bloosom, try to prioritize what's important and what can yield more satisfaction for you. You are a beautiful person, keep affirming that to yourself. No one will validate your transition but you and only you.

Keep working on those tips that this community has been contributing for your improvement. Transition isn't a race it is a journey.

thank you april to , you are wonderful