I've experienced sleeping paralysis tonight. It wasn't a normal dream/nightmare, but a paralysis. That's very creepy.
I have discussed paralysis on Susan's before. But not this "dream", because I didn't experience it before night to 4. April.

I lied in my bed and wasn't able to move my body at all. Suddenly two men appeared. The first one was a Swedish blonde guy who attempted to rape me in the sleeping paralysis. But when he tried, I attacked him as self defense and he got killed. Then the second guy came. He was in a dream I had earlier, but in that dream I won and he couldn't attack be. But in the sleeping paralysis he raped me and that hurt.

So why do I experience such scary sleeping paralysis and have you experience "raping" due paralysis too?
I think the raping is worse than being killed in these paralysis. Earlier I've experienced ghosts, demons and other characters from horror movies trying to attack me in sleeping paralysis. Even thought that was creepy, raping is worse. Maybe because gender dysphoria...? 

possible trigger warning


http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/

paralysis

Symbolically, dreaming that you are paralyzed means you are feeling helpless or pinned down in some aspects or circumstances of your waking life. You may feel unable to deal with a situation or change anything. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are feeling emotionally paralyzed. You have difficulties expressing your feelings.

ape

To dream that you were raped or almost raped indicates vengeful or resentful feelings toward the opposite sex.
(or) You feel that you have been violated or that you have been taken advantage of. Something or someone is jeopardizing your self-esteem and emotional well-being. Things are being forced upon you.


If you feel overwhelmed please reach out ... there are helplines
www.translifeline.org
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

Considering your dreams imo you might talk to a counselor.
They point to strong feelings.

-feelings of fear , being attacked, of helplessnes.

Where in your life do you feel helpless ?
What could you do to get some help, who could you turn to, and what could you do yourself ?
You could make a list, and do a few things step by step.
Usually things are smaller than imagined.

Try to relax. Consciously. Taking deep breaths ... not getting upset ... but speaking your mind where necessary.

Where do those fears come fom ? Are they real or imagined ? Can you change your mind towards them ?
Not feeling attacked but seeing the attackers leave ... you living in peace ...
making peace with parts of you you do not like, and maybe perceive in others ...
embracing parts of you ... not pushing them away but embracing them and transforming them over time ...

also maybe you have a friend you can talk to , about some feelings ...

and there is a thread for young trans, maybe you can make a few friends there ...

and as said ... you might look for a counselor ....


*hugs*

You might also make a few changes....
-putting electrical appliances a bit away from the bed, some people are electrosensitive ...
-no eating of heavy meals a few hours before sleeping.
If people are full its more likely they sleep heavy.
-no disturbing pics from games, tv ... at least an hour before bed. Maybe reading a nice book instead ...
And if you kind of store disturbing pics (many do ... the pic remains vivid in their memory for one or more days) you might try to avoid them. Only nice movies and entertainment. They may even provide some pictures that can be consciously visited for relaxation.

-maybe a light cereal snack a few minutes before going to bed. It might help keep blood sugar levels steady throughout the night so less waking up.


*hugs*

Quote from: Laura_7 on April 04, 2016, 03:26:24 PM
possible trigger warning


http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/

paralysis

Symbolically, dreaming that you are paralyzed means you are feeling helpless or pinned down in some aspects or circumstances of your waking life. You may feel unable to deal with a situation or change anything. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are feeling emotionally paralyzed. You have difficulties expressing your feelings.

ape

To dream that you were raped or almost raped indicates vengeful or resentful feelings toward the opposite sex.
(or) You feel that you have been violated or that you have been taken advantage of. Something or someone is jeopardizing your self-esteem and emotional well-being. Things are being forced upon you.


If you feel overwhelmed please reach out ... there are helplines
www.translifeline.org
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

Considering your dreams imo you might talk to a counselor.
They point to strong feelings.

-feelings of fear , being attacked, of helplessnes.

Where in your life do you feel helpless ?
What could you do to get some help, who could you turn to, and what could you do yourself ?
You could make a list, and do a few things step by step.
Usually things are smaller than imagined.

Try to relax. Consciously. Taking deep breaths ... not getting upset ... but speaking your mind where necessary.

Where do those fears come fom ? Are they real or imagined ? Can you change your mind towards them ?
Not feeling attacked but seeing the attackers leave ... you living in peace ...
making peace with parts of you you do not like, and maybe perceive in others ...
embracing parts of you ... not pushing them away but embracing them and transforming them over time ...

also maybe you have a friend you can talk to , about some feelings ...

and there is a thread for young trans, maybe you can make a few friends there ...

and as said ... you might look for a counselor ....


*hugs*

Gender dysphoria is my worst 'enemy'. :/

Quote from: Sebby Michelango on April 05, 2016, 07:37:36 AM
Gender dysphoria is my worst 'enemy'. :/

Try to embrace it.

-there are men who have also some features you have and do not like
-see yourself going in a direction where over time you will be more like the image you have
Its a process but in your favour, it will change.

-try to value things you like on you and keep them present in your mind
-look at a mirror. The eyes should be those of a boy. You can use that as reassurance.

-look for allies. Some friends, helplines, a therapist. People you can talk to.


*hugs*