Today felt a bit... peculiar...
As I have mentioned elsewhere, I'm not out as trans at work even though it is a very LGBTIQ friendly workplace and building (numerous other workplaces/offices/organisations in the building). Not just friendly but very inclusive, with LGBTQ (and possibly I) individuals being fairly well represented, especially the LG and probably B quotas. There are certainly a few other trans women who work in the building, not aware of any trans guys. Annnnyway...
At work today we were having an informal staff meeting in the kitchen, and discussion turned to a conference held elsewhere last week about blood borne viruses that a number of staff attended. There was apparently a presentation made about "men who have sex with other men" and how educational material for them almost exclusively excluded trans men from the equation, how they are often invisible in gay relationships. The work discussion turned to how we might collect demographic information to ensure that trans people in general weren't overlooked in data. Like I say, it was informal and no hard decisions were being made here, so I listened but stayed out of the conversation. It was interesting to hear some colleagues articulating points I had considered already around how a trans person might identify with their gender and how they might want to share that on a data collection form, even if there was a "trans" option available. So yes, a curious but interesting discussion which I have the feeling will be raised again soon through more formal channels at some point within the workplace.
About an hour later I was eating lunch in the kitchen when a woman from another office/organisation came in to grab something to eat. I know her in so much as I have seen her around, we always say hi but rarely chat more than a few words - and somehow she knows my name even though I never introduced myself to her so she has an advantage over me since I don't know hers and now feel too stupid to ask. Also... I might have a teensy crush on her.
She is very attractive. One sentence led to another and before we knew we ended up having quite the chat today! I have to say, I have long suspected she might be trans - she is fairly tall and has a husky but still very feminine voice... but that was all I had to go on and I figured it was her own business. Anyway, it did come out during the chat we had, she pretty much mentioned it as if I already knew. It was a sweet, vulnerable and funny moment. Do I sound like I'm in love??
I didn't tell her about me, but I gather she's worked that out already. If she hadn't mentioned her boyfriend in the conversation I might be trying to figure out a way to go on a date! It was nice to know my transdar hadn't failed me. I don't know how long she has been living as her identified gender or at what age she transitioned but I presume she went young and it has been a lot of years, she is very confident and convincing.
Another hour later, another encounter in the kitchen. It was the place for it today it would seem. One of my colleagues wanted to ask me about the discussion the group had been having earlier. I very much seemed she was trying to get my opinion about the way data on trans people might be collected without actually saying "as a trans person what do you think?"... like she's worked out that I am trans but didn't want to be rude and say it outright. She was saying I feel very uncomfortable about making those kind of decisions without the people in question involved in that decision. Too right, I agreed. Now I really like this colleague, we have a great rapport, but I wasn't in the frame of mind to say "as a trans person I believe..." but I did answer her questions speaking about trans people more generally. I mentioned that many trans people aren't that interested in revealing their status as trans; that collection of gendered information/data probably only has relevance when related to specific health and education purposes; that one shouldn't forget about non binary people; that there was often a difference in self identification between trans people who had transitioned and those who had not, etc, etc. I suggested that rather than just asking "Gender?" and offering "Male/Female/Trans" as options like we currently do in out organisation it would probably be better to just ask "What gender do you currently identify as?" and let them fill in the blank. I should add she mentioned being in a relationship where her partner was trans and transitioned, I presume they were a transguy as she was using male pronouns.
What a building I work in! How did this even happen?? It sure wasn't my conscious intent and yet here I am!
I suspect my stealth jig at work is nearly up!
