Changing Surname

byanyothername · April 08, 2016, 10:16:39 AM

I was wondering how many trans people change both their first name and surname compared to just changing the first name. I've heard of people changing their surname to protect themselves from being easily outed once they are living a more stealth lifestyle.

Would be interesting to get opinions!

Emily x

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TG CLare · April 08, 2016, 10:40:00 AM

When I transitioned, I changed my entire name. The only thing that remained the same was my first and last initials.

As I was able to choose my own destiny, changing my name to suit was only an extension. When I hear or see my old name, or if I have to bring it up, for a second I wonder who it is, I am that used to the new me.

A new me, a new name.

Love,
Clare.

FTMax · April 08, 2016, 01:28:25 PM

Had my family not been accepting, I was planning to change my last name as well. Had one picked out and everything. But they had no issues with me being trans or transitioning, so I decided to keep it the same.

Obfuskatie · April 08, 2016, 01:43:07 PM

My dad's only worry was that I'd change my last name as well, and I may if I marry my boyfriend or another guy, but I kept it for now. I think that living stealth is really hard anyway, but if that's your goal, then maybe go for both. Personally, I plan on being out and proud for the rest of my life and getting involved in activism any times I face discrimination.

Hugs,
- Katie
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Tysilio · April 08, 2016, 03:34:58 PM

I changed my entire name. I had nothing against my former surname, but it was impossible for most Americans to pronounce correctly, and it was almost invariably misspelled over the phone, even if I spelled it out "F as in Frank, D as in David..." Most of the time I don't have to spell my new name at all. It's wonderful.

It's true that it would have been much harder if my father were still alive.

byanyothername · April 08, 2016, 05:00:26 PM

Thanks for the feedback! It's a very personal thing to decide really. I'm not wanting to live totally stealth but I'm also keen on establishing myself as a new person. I don't know, maybe it's just because I've found a new name which I really love!

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trumi · May 27, 2016, 04:16:07 PM

I am glad to find this topic because I was considering changing the last name I hated for a long time but unfortunately I missed the chance of having it done for free when I got my U.S. citizenship because I stupidly listened to my parents. So I was wondering from those who did it, how much it costs? Does it depend on the state?

FTMax · May 27, 2016, 05:20:07 PM

Quote from: trumi on May 27, 2016, 04:16:07 PM
I am glad to find this topic because I was considering changing the last name I hated for a long time but unfortunately I missed the chance of having it done for free when I got my U.S. citizenship because I stupidly listened to my parents. So I was wondering from those who did it, how much it costs? Does it depend on the state?

Totally depends on the state. To change your name where I live, it was $45 plus $2 for each copy of the court order that you wanted (regardless of whether you were just changing your first name, last name, or your whole name). I've heard it can cost several hundred dollars in a lot of states. It seems like it is more expensive in the states that want you to publish it.

Devlyn · May 27, 2016, 05:33:10 PM

I'm in the middle of changing my whole name now. It's $180 in Massachusetts, plus whatever the publication fee is going to be. I'm waiting for the court's instructions on that to arrive in the mail. I'm doing it as a fresh start/moving forward thing, I'm not worried about being outed, I live openly, out, and proud.

Hugs, Devlyn

Colleen M · May 27, 2016, 06:34:59 PM

I'm technically changing the surname, but really I'm just going back to the ancestral clan name.

CrysC · May 27, 2016, 08:11:54 PM

I only changed my first and middle names. I kept my surname but then again I have a wife and 2 kids.

HappyMoni · May 27, 2016, 09:21:12 PM

I am changing first and middle names. The last name, well I want to still be part of my family. I want the name connection. It is $165 plus publication fee in Maryland. Of course, there is also the hassle of changing social sec., bank, etc.
I can't wait til it is final and legal.
Moni

LatrellHK · May 27, 2016, 09:48:08 PM

I was going to keep my last name and make my dads last name my middle name, to should him a little respect. But since my moms side is the side that highly disapproves of my gender identity and such I changed my first name to Christian and last name to my dads. It's kinda cool. Also royalty lol. But middle name is the same because I have no imagination and that's just too much. I like the new name though.

Only downside is my moms side is going crazy but that's what they get for telling me all types of negative stuff when I came out first.

trumi · May 28, 2016, 09:09:16 PM

Thank you for the info guys. I live in PA and all I want to change is my last name because I can't stand it.

LatrelLHK, I think that's a perfect reason to change your last name and the effect it gave to your mom's side.

byanyothername · May 29, 2016, 03:27:35 PM

I've 100% decided on changing my surname now but mainly for a fresh start and because I love the name. I'm actually taking my mothers maiden name!

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Atom · June 17, 2016, 02:23:27 PM

I changed the whole thing. Something Italian for my surname, as my mothers side of the family are from there and something Latin for the first name - it just fit.

I was not going to carry my fathers surname. He was a bullying violent alcoholic wife and child beater. A good reason to change.

Holly2016 · June 17, 2016, 02:51:53 PM

I am changing my entire name so that I can completely separate myself from the past. I am still at the beginning of my journey (5 months) and part of the older generation and a sudden change would cause a great deal of problems, so I'm going to have to run with two identities for a couple of years before I become Holly Fox

byanyothername · June 18, 2016, 12:27:53 PM

It's such a great name...Holly Fox!

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LatrellHK · June 18, 2016, 12:43:32 PM

Holly Fox? That's awesome, no lie!

Now I'd be that friend that will be waiting for the day to scream "HOLY FOX" at you.

Katiepie · June 18, 2016, 02:57:51 PM

I'm changing my name as a whole. My initials will become KAW.
Basically going to be taking my mothers maiden name, as well as a family name for my middle name in which all the girls on my moms side of the family has.

Kate <3
Always remember to smile your face

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