So there was a knock on the door this morning and two ladies and a little boy where there. A copy of the WatchTower was thrust eagerly towards me as babble on saving my soul from eternal damnation was spouted.

I waited for a pause and said, sorry ladies I've already booked my seat on the Hell bus, I'm a transgender woman, and your cult excommunicated one of my friends when she came out as transgender and forced her wife and family away from her.

Oh maybe you will be taking the Highway to Hell and we will take the Stairway to Heaven (corny I know but how often do you get the chance?).

They retreated, dark looks on their faces, the little boy surrounded by the skirts of the women to protect him from this evil being.

Have a nice day! I said politely as they busied themselves down my front path.

I felt rather good to be honest!!!

I've always felt like asking if they wanted to come in an partake of my "naked goat sacrifice"...

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 09, 2016, 01:47:58 AM
I've always felt like asking if they wanted to come in an partake of my "naked goat sacrifice"...

If I recall correctly VM has!

Oh, that's beautiful.  That church now has a pair of people standing at every train station in vancouver, all day every day.  I love the looks I get from them -- open disgust and horror.  God sees you judging, people.  Or it's all bulls***.  One or the other, I don't care.

I'm so happy I'm trans and not one of them.

It's not often I can say that.

Quote from: Cindy on April 09, 2016, 01:55:05 AM
If I recall correctly VM has!

?

Quote from: V M on April 09, 2016, 02:29:14 AM

Quote from: Cindy on April 09, 2016, 01:55:05 AM
If I recall correctly VM has!

?

I sort of recall one of my friends telling me of a time they invited some of these cult weirdos into the animal sacrifice she was about to have.

I of course immediately thought of you Sis!!

Oh yeah, I often tell the religious folks rather odd things    Can't help but love their shocked expressions of dismay 

I think I was planning a lamb chop for dinner because the grocery had run a special on them

I remember that one time a duo of Jehova's Witnesses showed up on my door. I usually don't discriminate when it comes to religions (the exceptions being fanatics, cults, and BS like Scienciology, or whatever the heck it was), and they were polite enough, so I decided to have an actual conversation with them instead of just slamming the door to their faces. They started off by asking my opinion about the first verse of the Bible.
My answer was somewhere along the lines of telling them that yes, their god can take the credit for creating an empty earth and an emptier sky for all I care, but my gods made the sun and the sea, the things that made it possible for life to evolve.
I still have a hard time figuring out why they suddenly interrupted my religion's creation legend (also, in my religion it's considered very rude to interrupt when somebody is telling you about the gods.), excused themselves, and very hastily walked off. If they wanted to discuss religion, why didn't they?

You know what bugs me most about these sorts of people? Not that they believe in stuff or would call me hellbound... but that they have the time of day to waste doing that when I have to work from dawn till dusk to earn a buck. How do they manage it?

There's people in my village doing the same, I gotta tell them each time that I really, really have better things to be doing than they do or I'll freaking starve. Older people I can understand, maybe retired, lonely... but they're usually middle aged or younger people going door to door. Must be rich or something. 

My favorite is still glancing back over my shoulder, loudly whispering, "Master doesn't let me talk to strangers," and closing the door.

How I wish I could take credit for that idea.   

I love this, Cindy! Good for you.

'Minds me of the time when I was 10 or 11, my family had a little plywood shack (we liked to call it a "vacation cabin" ) in a pretty poor, rural place in the California hills. It stood at the top of a steep dirt driveway, and one day the Jehovah's Witnesses started up it. My father was chopping wood at the time, so he looked all disreputable in a sweaty, torn T-shirt -- way more Cali hillbilly than gentlemanly academic. He just stood there at the top of the driveway, axe in hand, sort of bouncing it off his other palm...

I guess they decided that hill was just too steep.

Quote from: Colleen M on April 09, 2016, 07:15:45 PM
My favorite is still glancing back over my shoulder, loudly whispering, "Master doesn't let me talk to strangers," and closing the door.

How I wish I could take credit for that idea.   

Whether you can take credit for it or not, I am so stealing this.

With JW always wish them "Good Luck" when they leave.  They never say that.

I used to be a Jehovah's Witness, so just a word of advice for your retorts: JW's don't believe in Hell. They believe that worthy souls will be resurrected into an earthly paradise called the "New System of Things". Unworthy souls will simply continue their non-existence. As far as religious after life scenarios go, at least it's not punitive.

Anything called the "New System of Things" sounds pretty much like my idea of Hell.

They're welcome to it.

While I'm thinking about it, has everybody seen the Reno 911 episode "Fireworks"?  There's a sequence about 6:10 in which comes to mind:

Quote from: Cindy on April 09, 2016, 01:15:16 AM
Oh maybe you will be taking the Highway to Hell and we will take the Stairway to Heaven (corny I know but how often do you get the chance?).

So you went A (AC/DC) to Z (Led Zeppelin) on them?  Okay, it's bad but I couldn't resist.