just a vote on importance of  "passing "

If passing means I don't get asked moronic questions like "are you transsexual?" by random idiots on street corners then yeah, it's necessary.

Agree with Ms. Grace on the part about getting away from stupid questions.  Annoyance with the rest of humanity aside, for me it really is more about simply being who I am.  Am chemically female, carry myself in my feminine manner and I feel what I am regardless of external perception.  Passing is, well, something we do as ourselves every moment.  In my eyes, we all pass always.

I think I've made passing a necessity for me, when it was not always the case. Passing draws less unwanted attention from others. I suppose I feel more safe that way. Using the women's bathroom, just walking out in public dressed the way I want, etc.

Fantastic question - unfortunately my answer isn't on the list - Both:  absolutely passing and I don't care.

If you have read my posts you know I'm just starting.  I flip back and forth between I want to come out to the world tomorrow and I want to wait as long as I can.

I'm joining new groups and getting involved with new people.  When I do that I dress en-fem.  I don't pass, I don't even try. But my body/bone structure below the bust line is feminine already so woman's clothes fit better than guy's anyway.  Basically I go as a well/casual dressed woman with light makeup and maybe a necklace.  To these people I'm just who I am.  They accept me for who I am and I'm going to judge my "pass-ability"  with them. 

For people I know, I'm going to wait until there is no way I could pass as a guy.  That may be after FFS I don't know.  But when I come out to people who I have known BC (Before Changes) - I MUST PASS COMPLETELY to be comfortable.  I want people who I have not seen since before November of last year do a double take and gasp.  I'm looking for "holy s***" or OMG or something akin to that even when dressed down.  Otherwise I'll feel as though they will be second guessing me.

Stephanie - Great Question!

good perspective on the community

I personally can't tell what others think. I'm transitioning in the same place and go to the same cafe's I've gone to for 20 years. Nobody has mentioned anything except for yesterday and about a month ago some Baristas at Starbucks have asked me what pronouns I prefer.

The perfectionist in me wants to go stealth so I voted I absolutely require it.

I put somewhat. Passing all the time would remove a lot of anxiety but it isn't everything.

Without that, it is still VERY much worth going out as me. I don't regret going full time for one minute regardless of if I pass or not.

"I was always worried you didn't want to look like a guy in a dress."
(edit: from a Vanity Fair video: http://video.vanityfair.com/watch/caitlyn-jenner-is-grateful-to-laverne-cox 🔗)

"If you're out there and, to be honest with you, if you look like a man in a dress, it makes people uncomfortable." - Caitlyn Jenner - 2016 Glaad Media Award recipient 
(edit: from a Time interview: http://time.com/4142000/time-person-of-the-year-runner-up-caitlyn-jenner-interview/ 🔗)

IMO: Sad, I have found her statements to be true.  So, yes passing (goal) is 'cosmetically necessary' (for me) even if people know I am transsexual.

EOM

I want to look as good as i can for me (and my spouse) but fitting anyone's standards is not important to me. I like being correctly gendered too, but i would have transitioned if i would never have experienced that.

Passing as a concept seems very subjective. To feel as good as you can about yourself, given what genetics gave you is the important thing.

Passing to my eyes (for myself) that's what I am seeking in priority.

Even though I pass, I wish I didn't have to worry so much about my voice, sometimes afraid of being outed if I start to cough or laugh, can't let loose from fear of being outed and judged or considered "different". The rest is ok but it would be nice to have a hairless vagina too just to be able to have sex with any random guy, if I choose to, when the chemistry is there...just to feel normal, like any other girl where I don't have to explain myself and divulge details about my past. Normalcy is what I seek. 🙂

looks like absolute necessity is leading the pack

Quote from: RobynD on April 11, 2016, 10:30:15 AM
I want to look as good as i can for me (and my spouse) but fitting anyone's standards is not important to me. I like being correctly gendered too, but i would have transitioned if i would never have experienced that.

Passing as a concept seems very subjective. To feel as good as you can about yourself, given what genetics gave you is the important thing.

ditto

For me passing means blending in with society and getting on with lfe as a female, carrying a little weight to hide the masculine features that I cant change eg - weight around the neck to had the adams apple and a little weight in other areas,
Also being confident about myself,

Cheers Tracy

IMO passing equals safety so it is incredibly important to me.

With all that's happening as far as violence against transgender individuals, I think it's almost an absolute necessity to blend in as much as possible.

It's sad because this violence is even impacting cis gender folks. There is a recent incident of a woman in Detroit who was accosted in a bathroom because she didn't look female enough.

it's sad, the more of these negative trans bathroom laws go into effect the more dangerous it's going to get for everyone.

The bigger problem is that there are far more people who can't " pass " according to the cis standard of " passing" as there are those that do " pass " according to someone else's standard of what is acceptable. What are the majority to do.