After about 3 months I really had too much breast tissue to comfortably hide.

I said earlier you can go forever around people you know.  I do get male fail all the time around strangers.  But people you have known a while will see what they expect to see.  On the occasion that one of them does say something I just laugh at it.  No problem.


Sapere Aude

well I'll find out ...my experience will be swayed tho because I am bald. so unless I start showing up in a wig, or develop significant breast size, it may not be noticeable at all. But I've a feeling my self perception will be different and I will come out at work long before I needed to 

Quote from: Marlee on April 14, 2016, 11:49:17 AM
But I've a feeling my self perception will be different and I will come out at work long before I needed to 

I think this is an important statement, because a lot of the initial changes from HRT usually go unnoticed by everyone, but we blow-up everything exponentially in our mind, and tend to think the effects and changes are greater than they actually are (be aware of the rapid onset of placebo effect from HRT "pink cloud" syndrome). 🎀

I think the HRT has had very noticeable effects on me.  I can wear female clothing a lot more comfortably and well-fitted to my body.  I don't see very much of a man or a boy in the dress anymore, and I am sure that I would pass if I went public.

I'm still presenting as male for social and family reasons, but strangers often guess female...  but my family and friends have not said anything nor imply it.  Nobody has really said anything, but maybe I am being too overly analytical when I think that some coworkers may be probing a little bit.  In general...  I think people see what they want to see.

If you're prepared to give people something to feed their preconceptions, you can go a long time.  Google "invisible gorilla" for a big lesson on people missing what they're not looking for.

So I'm now 14 months into HRT and have been on a low dose the whole time.
Even on the low dose I've had noticeable breast development since I was 7 months in and now I'm up to a 38B. 
The last time I had a hair cut was January of 2014...

I'm not publicly out yet, although I've morphed my wardrobe over to 98% female pants and a mixture of male and female tops that all lean to the androgynous.

I've been careful to pick my work clothing such that the tops are over-sized and baggy enough to hide my chest.  My changes have been slow and steady, and thank god I work with a bunch of male engineers who are oblivious. 
I'm out to one female coworker and as she says, Joan of Arch could ride through the building naked and these men won't notice.  From my experiences to date, the men at work who have known me for many years see what they want to see.

As for outside of work, shopping and at restaurants I'm gendered female more and more no matter what I wear.

I know my time is limited and I plan to fully transition this year, but I've been able to get by for the past 14 months anyway.

Not sure if any of this helps...

Four years and running.  Careful wardrobe selection helps.

Invisible gorilla indeed.

Quote from: luna nyan on April 15, 2016, 12:33:26 AM
Four years and running.  Careful wardrobe selection helps.

Invisible gorilla indeed.

In your case Hon it isn't the invisible gorilla, it is because the female gorilla in the room hasn't been noticed for some reason

I think you are a classic case of people see what they are use to seeing. I think that is important, I was seen as male, when I outed myself and returned dressed and acting as me, people saw female. That was in a two day time line. Accepted as male on Friday, OMG why didn't we realise on Monday.

Quote from: Cindy on April 15, 2016, 02:22:03 AM
In your case Hon it isn't the invisible gorilla, it is because the female gorilla in the room hasn't been noticed for some reason

I think you are a classic case of people see what they are use to seeing. I think that is important, I was seen as male, when I outed myself and returned dressed and acting as me, people saw female. That was in a two day time line. Accepted as male on Friday, OMG why didn't we realise on Monday.

As I say.  Running. 
People see what they expect to see.  I've always favoured dark and loose clothing so no obvious changes there.
Misdirection, bluffing, all that goes a long way.  I got away with electro because I had that done first and long before HRT otherwise there'd be a lot more questions asked.

Quote from: luna nyan on April 15, 2016, 05:18:02 AM
As I say.  Running. 
People see what they expect to see.  I've always favoured dark and loose clothing so no obvious changes there.
Misdirection, bluffing, all that goes a long way.  I got away with electro because I had that done first and long before HRT otherwise there'd be a lot more questions asked.

This is a treasure trove of information.

I've started low dose and laser last month. I plan on changing my presentation in the middle of next year for professional and personal reasons. The replies above indicate that this will be possible although the tenderness in my chest starting last week indicates that some breast development may be coming.

I've also not had my hair cut for almost a year and it's certainly provoking comments from my personal friends. I manage to swat them away with a joke or two. Fortunately no one I deal with professionally has said anything as I couldn't adopt the same approach.

Julie

After three months HRT and 1-2 laser sessions, I hit male fail. However, the biggest contributing factors for me were waxing my eyebrows and carrying a purse, and maybe wearing female clothes. I had this cute punky purse with me one day, but wasn't really wearing lady clothes. My hair was already shoulder-length. Even talking (briefly) and not trying to pass, I still got a ma'am from some guy. I don't think he was paying much attention, but still, I knew I was hitting male fail pretty solidly. Voice caught up after six months HRT. I wasn't trying to go full-time so quickly, but four months in and it was becoming as difficult to try passing as a guy as it was a lady. So full-time quickly became the easier and more preferable option.

Once you start HRT and beard removal, hair and brows become important markets for male fail.

In my own case, if I'm late on a haircut I definitely start looking girly.

I think I can agree with most, that the people closest to you see you as who you've been.  For me I was on HRT the first time for 5 months.  I enjoyed this second-first "puberty" quite a bit.  The soft skin, tingling body and arm hairs that were slowly diminishing, and the throbbing soreness that pulsated in my nipples.  And then when the nodules started forming, and the nipples retracted, and I started to see substantial growth, I got scared, and decided to stop.  The urge and need drew me back time and time again.  Now after coming out to my wife (after I had made my own decision to try HRT without her knowledge-which I would not recommend doing) she has come around and at least been able to understand what I have been going through.  Our conclusion was that it is best for me emotionally to remain on a low dose of estrogen, but the problem is the continued breast growth.  I assume that this is a major point of contention that I would believe all transgender people experience on their journey some time. That's where I am...my paths are converging whether I like it or not.  This is what is the most troubling part of my dysphoria, and I am right in the middle of it.  I want to hide my transition until I'm ready, but my physical changes are at the point where I can't hide them very much longer.  This is a struggle, and a predicament, when you are not in control of when you are ready to transition.  I imagine the reality is that we all don't have much of a choice after a certain point.  So my two cents: be very sure of what you really want before you test the waters.  I think if you have taken any step towards HRT, then I believe your path is pretty much a given.  It's really only a matter of time before you transition fully, and you quit trying to be someone you are not.  TBH, I'm tired of wearing spanks, and I find myself not caring as much about hiding all the time.  After going around several times with this, I've made the decision to continue the low dosage regardless.  I'm growing tits, and I guess me and everyone else who notices will just have to deal with it    This is a great post topic.  I really enjoyed many of your comments.
Jimmie

Quote from: Ashey on April 15, 2016, 08:33:37 PM
After three months HRT and 1-2 laser sessions, I hit male fail. However, the biggest contributing factors for me were waxing my eyebrows and carrying a purse, and maybe wearing female clothes. I had this cute punky purse with me one day, but wasn't really wearing lady clothes. My hair was already shoulder-length. Even talking (briefly) and not trying to pass, I still got a ma'am from some guy. I don't think he was paying much attention, but still, I knew I was hitting male fail pretty solidly. Voice caught up after six months HRT. I wasn't trying to go full-time so quickly, but four months in and it was becoming as difficult to try passing as a guy as it was a lady. So full-time quickly became the easier and more preferable option.

Almost exactly my story.

Mannerisms, dress and hair make a big difference. Interestingly my first male fail came when i was carrying a purse as well.

Only 3 months in on HRT but swimming is no longer an option due to breast growth until I get my hair and voice acceptable for a swimsuit. It's a sacrifice I'm prepared to make as I do love my breasts.

Given how much I've changed over the past 16 months coworkers just accept I'm still working on being "healthy" and regularly express their approval of the new me. With how I dress and generally am now though it would not surprise me if there were suspicions.

Regularly get double takes in public as people try to work out what I am. Even caught a few going as far as the package check (TG I learned to tuck lol).

Taking it all as signs of progress. A long way to go but I'm having fun being me.

Once the world can see me I'll change my name and keep doing what I'm doing.

Whoa kinda ran away with myself there but yeah for anything that's not topless you could crossdress as male indefinitely. Funny eh

Quote from: Jerrica on April 21, 2016, 05:50:57 PM
Only 3 months in on HRT but swimming is no longer an option due to breast growth until I get my hair and voice acceptable for a swimsuit. It's a sacrifice I'm prepared to make as I do love my breasts.

A competition bikini and a rash guard/swim shirt took care of that problem for me.
The bikini flattens you out and the shirt covers it up. It might not look right if you are indoors though.

Thank you for your idea but unfortunately it's indoor swimming here with rather close proximity in the showers.
In just shorts I'm a far easier read as a mismatch.
A top of sorts could be an option but I'm not really sure.

I rarely went swimming tbh but did love the steam room.
Will just have to wait until my hair gets long enough to style then that should be enough to tip the balance in a swimsuit as long as I don't need to speak. All I'll need then is the courage to actually do it ofc but worries for another day.

Have heard of tight tops etc but I'd be scared of somehow damaging my breasts or changing their growth pattern.
Still totally worth it though as I am coming to love my body as it continues to heal.

I've gone a couple years stealth among people I have to see every day like for work. It's very possible but requires commitment. I haven't started on my face yet so that's been the biggest mask for me until I live completely alone again and can get started. I have a very manly beard, but most people would be amazed what's underneath my clothes.

If you are lucky you live up north where it is cool most of the time. If you are lucky. Otherwise prepare to be hot and uncomfortable until you are in the privacy of your home/bedroom.

I live in Florida.... So commitment for me is wearing t-shirt + medium women's compression shirt at ALL times. No compression underneath and the tits are immediately BAM unavoidable. Very obvious they are not mens breasts in just a shirt. So get used to the feeling of a tight compression tank top. For me it really helped to put it over a normal shirt, felt much better.

I think I saw someone mention the pool in a post? Forget it. Beach and pools are off limits until you are presenting as female unless you like non stop staring. I lived directly on the beach when I began, it was a hard transition there.

That said, the layers of compression help maintain a bulkier "manly" build. On hormones my figure has definitely changed but the clothes mostly hide it. If you have to be outside then you are going to sweat. A lot. Learn to deal with it and learn to be uncomfortable. For me it had been an amazing motivation to keep my ass working to the finish line.