Four months on hormones, and I don't know why, but at night I feel a little strange. I feel a slight discomfort, though not necessarily physical. More like I'm being bottled up, and I just want to explode, and let myself out. It's hard to explain, but it worries me. :/ Anyone else experience something similar? During the day I just sort of exist, without feeling anything too strange.

Could it be anticipation and excitement to live life as the person you really are?

Explain "feel like I want to explode". What are the feelings at the root of that? What is it about night time that seems to trigger it for you, what same factor isn't there during the day?

Quote from: IdontEven on April 15, 2016, 05:05:15 PM
Could it be anticipation and excitement to live life as the person you really are?

I suppose it could... My room is also a bit toxic. It's very messy, and I am in it way too much.

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 15, 2016, 08:11:32 PM
Explain "feel like I want to explode". What are the feelings at the root of that? What is it about night time that seems to trigger it for you, what same factor isn't there during the day?

I wish I knew! Guess it could be my room.

Maybe it is time to redecorate the room to suit the new you? Some nice cushions, pretty bedspread that sort of thing?

I hear you hun! It took me along time to realize, messy environment, messy thoughts but could not be stuffed cleaning up.

Clutter can sap our strength and add to stress.

I have suffered nighttime anxiety most of my life. I would be very agitated at times before sleep and my worse depression would strike at that time. It was almost a desperation to escape the night. Not fear of the dark, but wanting to the night to go as fast as possible. I use to describe it as the sundown effect but clinically that is something dementia patients face 

My depression and anxiety largely left me with HRT (yay!). The exception though, is i continue to experience nighttime issues. Some possible strategies beyond the clutter.

1. Stay busy right up until bed. The exercising mind will relax easier
2. Create a sedate routine, warm bath and a book for instance
3. Get off the electronics at least 1-2 hours before bed. This one is really hard, who does not like their phone in bed? but they say the blue light messes with our rhythms.

Those are a few anyways.

I bought a new camera and PlayStation 4 to help with this. One thing I want is a yard and a separate bedroom. This has bothered me for years. I've always had all the things staring at me, blinking. What I've found since beginnign HRT is I sleep better, I handle my emotions better. ONe thing I don't feel equipped for is the need to interact with others.

I also second the bath. I wish I could upgrade mine to something deeper, maybe a whirlpool tub.