Before I start, just wanna say that some women who read the latter part of this may find it bothersome. Just wanted to give you a heads up on that. I hope it doesn't bother anyone at all in the end. I'm just bein' real with ya'll. I can't never talk about this craziness I go through inside, in real life. Except with my therapist. Moving along....

No, I'm not suicidal or wanting to harm myself. I made a post quite similar to this last year but this is far more, um, light-hearted, I guess. I honestly could not ever imagine a real life of my own with friends and a girlfriend/wife. I am so accustomed to being alone now that I hardly even get lonely anymore; I am growing more and more comfortable with being by myself compared with the thought of being with others. Not only would having friends feel so draining and exhaustive to me, but it would almost feel like a major waste of good time and effort I could be putting in defeating a videogame, my schooling, writing, and other personal projects.

Maybe I am just selfish or whatever, but I am so comfortable this way and it feels more natural than hanging out with others where I would have to be on their time anyways since I don't drive or even have a job. Like at one point I was texting (well, more like sexting, to be honest) multiple girls at once and I found myself really exhausted just from texting one of them. Never in my life can I see myself with a girl I actually love because the relationship itself would make me as tired as dialysis does. Ok. I admit that I still do get lonely at times, hence the reason I texted or sexted all those girls.

But this is not something I do all day, every day. Just on occasion, I guess. I feel like a patronizing jerk to think about that, but I guess it's out of curiosity and not so much of being a patronizing jerk? Even after getting myself together on hormones and junk, I can never imagine a life with a wonderful woman, some kids, good friends and a great life. Why? I think it's because I like being alone. Do any of you like to be alone? Guess I am introverted. Not like that is necessarily a bad thing, right? I just wish I was asexual. That would make my life heaven for me, since no woman out there seems to really want to get it on with me. Lol. Yeah, I'm being silly.

I've been alone for forty years , It's kind of like my boots, I've had them for so long and they're falling apart , but I can't get rid of them although I do want to get some ankle boots with 2 inch heels.

Quote from: stephaniec on April 16, 2016, 07:03:32 PM
I've been alone for forty years , It's kind of like my boots, I've had them for so long and they're falling apart , but I can't get rid of them although I do want to get some ankle boots with 2 inch heels.

Hey Stephanie. That analogy is perfect; I feel like I've been this way for so long that I just can't ever see any other alternative. It's like eating the same exact pizza over and over and over for the past 20 years; you don't particularly enjoy it but you keep on eating it because you're used to it. It just feels right to be alone.

yea

I prefer being alone. Luckily I found other people to surround myself with who also like being alone. My roommate and I have lived together for over three years now. We're both introverts, we maybe have one solid conversation per day that's social (we also work together, so we talk a little more than that but it's work related). My girlfriend is very similar - very independent, values her alone time. It's not hard to be with people who get that I like my me time.

Hey Phoenix!

I know the feeling, but I get lonely way too fast and too much of it to consider being alone for the rest of my own life. It is completely acceptable to be that way anyways, you would only need to worry about yourself, and well if you have any family that you do regard in any priority with.

Just to think of your own life without anyone else you need to essentially take care of, would make it extremely convenient. Probably not easy, but easier than having to look after yourself and others. Your views may change down the road, maybe not. You may find someone that you care about deeply and build a relationship, or not. Whatever happens with that part of your life, always always let it build you to be happy.

Kate <3

I love being alone. Nothing wrong with it.

I've experienced relationships and honestly they were/are very exhausting and since I was destined to have to come out at some point, no matter how much of my soul I put into them, they were all going to fail as sexual relationships. I've never wanted "family and kids" (not with my own dysfunctional family as the example I got) but I did want someone "special". But it's still super tiring to be with someone and keep them happy, especially as a trans person. I'm not sure people were designed to make each other happy. We're designed to desire each other and get together and have kids, but the idyllic image we have of the perfect partner... I don't think it exists. People are people. They're sometimes nice and they're sometimes goddamned awful and they're necessary sometimes and other times who needs 'em. 

You're not missing out on some angelic experience. There is no perfect man or woman, just men and women. It can be good, but it comes with burdens and costs and problems and all kinds of other stuff. And if you end up with a family you're probably going to be working your ass off to support them like most people and that can be extremely stressful. It's something people often end up doing, but is it better than not doing it? I don't feel like I'm missing out. There's a whole lot you can end up doing in life and enjoying without having other people in tow, you know? Then again, I'm against creating life because I view it as morally problematic. I'd never have a family of my own.