I was born female. However, I found myself acting out as a boy when I could. For example, I was the cowboy, not the cowgirl. Most people would describe me as a tomboy. One of my earliest memories is being caught at the age of 4 trying to pee standing up. As I grew older, I started to wonder if I was a lesbian. I am attracted to women but fantasies involve me having a penis and penetrating my partner. I have mixed feelings about my female anatomy. One part of me doesn't want to give up my breasts, but I look at athletic men and want to look like them. I sometimes pack and like the way a bulge looks on me. I'm trying to determine if the issues I'm dealing with are gender related, sexual orientation related or a combination. I hope to find guidance and support here.