Do you ever feel like your repeting yourself?
Like life its running faster than you are?
Like you mind is on overload?

Thats just what im feeling at the moment.
All i want it someone to talk too. someone in my shoes.
Some really good things have come along since the last time i was on here,
I had my top surgery, Got a new job and a girlfriend, who i love more than life its-self.
Iv got myself into an amazing hobbie,
But... THINGS IN MY HEAD JUST WONT UNJABLE,

Im still waiting for info on my bottem sugery, (charing cross messed that up ;/)
I feel like im not good enough for my girlfriend and feel like she will end up going with someone else :/
The fact she lives 100 miles away from me its hard,
Im 28 years old. still living at home with my perents and cant drive.
And the big life chooses are getting me down,
I dont know, I just need someone to talk to i think.

And i know this isnt really FTM talk but i know how awesome you guys are. and didnt know were else to put this,
Feel free to delete if needed.

You could have a look here:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135219.0.html


And maybe you can make a few friends here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1758946.html#msg1758946


*hugs*

I'm only 16, but I always feel frozen while time and everyone else is passing me by... My dad won't let me start testosterone and I'm done asking for his help... I want him to be happy, but he doesn't want me to be transgender and it's making me feel like I'm not good enough. Not sure what to do, if I try to tell him my dysphoria is from being anatomically female he thinks it's because I grew up with only "male influences." It's hard to write what he said because he told me I can't self diagnose myself as transgender and I should stop talking to other transguys. I'm just not good enough for anyone, he told me to shut up if I disagree with the therapist he's talking to about me. He thinks I have anxiety and depression because that's what the therapist told him, but he doesn't think me being transgender is the cause for that. I'm running in a circle, I'm getting nowhere. He's made me feel guilty for coming back to this site, like it's a bad influence... I was 12 when I found out what transgender meant, vowed never to say anything when I heard you could be disowned by your parents and tried my best to suppress my feelings. I hated it and only accepted it when I was 14, now I hate it more than ever... I'm just not good enough for others and I'm not good enough to speak for myself. Everyone thinks I'm stuck up because I've "chosen" to be this "new thing" that is "transgender.

I'm more lost than ever... I tell someone I'm transgender and they say it's something else... If I tell them I know myself they say I can't self diagnose myself... If I tell them I know what I'm talking about they say I don't. I'm getting shot down because they think I'm shooting them down.

I'm rambling, but I understand what it's like to feel like you're turning the page and only finding the same words you just read...

Hi Hazard. I'm a lot older so when I was your age virtually nobody accepted Trans people. So we dressed in secret, felt like we were perverts and thought there was something wrong with us. Through education on this site, I have found, I am not alone. When I think back on it. I don't think my mother would have objected much after all she was the first one to dress me up. But Dad, that's a different story. I have since come to the conclusion that hey, my parents chose and lived the life they wanted. Why shouldn't I live the life I want to. I wish I had the wisdom I do today when I was 20.  You have an opportunity to live where your heart is. Playing cover-up is so draining both in energy and mentally.  Whatever you decide it's Your decision, nobody elses. I would consider waiting two years until you are 18 and of the majority. Then for sure nobody else has a say in it.

Quote from: tyler_c on April 19, 2016, 02:58:20 PM
I'm only 16, but I always feel frozen while time and everyone else is passing me by... My dad won't let me start testosterone and I'm done asking for his help... I want him to be happy, but he doesn't want me to be transgender and it's making me feel like I'm not good enough. Not sure what to do, if I try to tell him my dysphoria is from being anatomically female he thinks it's because I grew up with only "male influences." It's hard to write what he said because he told me I can't self diagnose myself as transgender and I should stop talking to other transguys. I'm just not good enough for anyone, he told me to shut up if I disagree with the therapist he's talking to about me. He thinks I have anxiety and depression because that's what the therapist told him, but he doesn't think me being transgender is the cause for that. I'm running in a circle, I'm getting nowhere. He's made me feel guilty for coming back to this site, like it's a bad influence... I was 12 when I found out what transgender meant, vowed never to say anything when I heard you could be disowned by your parents and tried my best to suppress my feelings. I hated it and only accepted it when I was 14, now I hate it more than ever... I'm just not good enough for others and I'm not good enough to speak for myself. Everyone thinks I'm stuck up because I've "chosen" to be this "new thing" that is "transgender.

I'm more lost than ever... I tell someone I'm transgender and they say it's something else... If I tell them I know myself they say I can't self diagnose myself... If I tell them I know what I'm talking about they say I don't. I'm getting shot down because they think I'm shooting them down.

I'm rambling, but I understand what it's like to feel like you're turning the page and only finding the same words you just read...

Here are a few resources that could help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

There are studies showing that being trans has biological connections, to do with development before birth.
There are differences in brains of women and men so a mismatch is possible.
There are even substances known to cause a higher rate of transgender people.
So its nobodys fault ... not an upbringing or whatever...
here is a very emotional resource that could help:
http://www.acceptingdad.com/2013/08/05/to-the-unicorns-dad/

Usually parents want their children to be happy.
Would it be a possibility to talk to a gender therapist to help you all along the way, to find out what really makes you happy ?
If depressions come from gender dysphoria its possible treatment there helps.

Usually transgender people learn from a young age to adapt. You might try to listen within, and listen to what you feel makes you happy.

One possibility could be to call a lgbt center near you, and ask for a referral to a therapist.
PFLAG could also be a good source for support. Its parents of LGBT people.

*hugs*

Quote from: Hazard "AJ" on April 19, 2016, 12:57:36 PM
Do you ever feel like your repeting yourself?
Like life its running faster than you are?
Like you mind is on overload?

Thats just what im feeling at the moment.
All i want it someone to talk too. someone in my shoes.
Some really good things have come along since the last time i was on here,
I had my top surgery, Got a new job and a girlfriend, who i love more than life its-self.
Iv got myself into an amazing hobbie,
But... THINGS IN MY HEAD JUST WONT UNJABLE,

Im still waiting for info on my bottem sugery, (charing cross messed that up ;/)
I feel like im not good enough for my girlfriend and feel like she will end up going with someone else :/
The fact she lives 100 miles away from me its hard,
Im 28 years old. still living at home with my perents and cant drive.
And the big life chooses are getting me down,
I dont know, I just need someone to talk to i think.

And i know this isnt really FTM talk but i know how awesome you guys are. and didnt know were else to put this,
Feel free to delete if needed.

Hey there mate!
I totally understand how you must feel because I found myself going through the same thing for so many years, and we are only about 2 years apart in age. If you still could use someone to chat around with, or even game with feel free to PM me! I always enjoy making a new friend.
Cheers, Matt