My mother came into my room last night while trying to have a discussion with me
and a short moment in the conversation came up where she started talking about me possibly getting facial hair it was her way of asking what effects testosterone will have on my body. To be honest it makes me really uncomfortable speaking to my mother about what's going to happen to my body. Because of that I feel like I shouldn't be feeling uncomfortable I feel like I should be feeling more happy and excited! When I think about it alone i am happy, comfortable and excited sometimes a little doubtful but it happens a lot. I don't know why I feel so uncomfortable with my mother around me trying to have a discussion about T's effects with me. I also don't know if it's appropriate for her to know anything about what's going to happen........ I mean I probably should eventually say something or at least I feel like it's appropriate to explain because society says. I just don't like people that are in my to close inside my personal space I don't like to be that personal. Is it wrong for me to feel this way is it normal that i am not wanting to tell her what'll happen?

If you don't mind someone else telling her you could show her a YouTube video. There's plenty of those.

Quote from: AnonyMs on April 20, 2016, 05:03:28 AM
If you don't mind someone else telling her you could show her a YouTube video. There's plenty of those.

Nope, she'll get on to me about it after wanting to even more speak about it
my mother doesn't understand space or any hint of space.
So as much as i'd love to do that i already know the outcome, i'm debating at the moment
on what i want to do.....i mean maybe its best i have a doctor tell her about it but i dont know if that would work either and i just want to be left alone. :/

Quote from: Midnightstar on April 20, 2016, 05:46:15 AM
Nope, she'll get on to me about it after wanting to even more speak about it
my mother doesn't understand space or any hint of space.
So as much as i'd love to do that i already know the outcome, i'm debating at the moment
on what i want to do.....i mean maybe its best i have a doctor tell her about it but i dont know if that would work either and i just want to be left alone. :/

Well people can kind of read other peoples signals ...
if you have restraints they have a reason ...
what did you feel why your mom asked ? To look for counter arguments ? Is she afraid ?

You might tell her that you will start out with T slowly to first see how it makes you feel.
Usually people start out with a low dose.
And that you will be like your male twin, and that its a gradual process over time.
You will become a bit lower voice, a bit more muscle and the rest time will show ...

Would that be a kind of answer you feel could help ?


*hugs*

I don't get why your mum doesn't get how uncomfortable this is for you. I mean who wants to discuss puberty with their mum; I'm sure she felt uncomfortable discussing female puberty with you . I'd just show her the Wikipedia article on ftms taking T and walk away refusing to answer her questions.

Quote from: Midnightstar on April 20, 2016, 04:47:57 AM
I just don't like people that are in my to close inside my personal space I don't like to be that personal. Is it wrong for me to feel this way is it normal that i am not wanting to tell her what'll happen?

At the risk of being stereotypical, it sounds like normal male behavior.

Quote from: Laura_7 on April 20, 2016, 05:52:57 AM
Well people can kind of read other peoples signals ...
if you have restraints they have a reason ...
what did you feel why your mom asked ? To look for counter arguments ? Is she afraid ?

You might tell her that you will start out with T slowly to first see how it makes you feel.
Usually people start out with a low dose.
And that you will be like your male twin, and that its a gradual process over time.
You will become a bit lower voice, a bit more muscle and the rest time will show ...

Would that be a kind of answer you feel could help ?


*hugs*

My mother and me don't get along and never will completely get along
iv'e already realized my mother just wants it to be a phase of some kind so she in the end doesn't have to
know that she messed up a lot of my childhood and teenage years and created some of the problems.
I think she is trying more often but she still has this let it be a phase wish if you ask me, i could be wrong though. Anyways yes i think she is looking for a counter argument not to argue but to have me question which i'm not going to sense iv'e questioned this my entire life. She wants me to confirm its real her actions show it more and more often and i just can't prove to her anything because i can't even prove to myself anything for 100% certainty all i know is i need to do this for me.
I don't know what question she is wanting more
she basically wants to know any question...and anything.
Iv'e already told her i want my body to change and my voice and that i really don't care about facial hair and that i'll shave it.
I also told her that my risk for cancer is basically the same and it wont harm me.
so iv'e answered her questions but it keeps coming up like she is looking for more questions more answers more things to confirm whatever she is thinking (what that is i can't say for sure)

Quote from: AnonyMs on April 20, 2016, 06:12:08 AM
At the risk of being stereotypical, it sounds like normal male behavior.

Just curious it's not as common with females?

Quote from: Elis on April 20, 2016, 06:06:51 AM
I don't get why your mum doesn't get how uncomfortable this is for you. I mean who wants to discuss puberty with their mum; I'm sure she felt uncomfortable discussing female puberty with you . I'd just show her the Wikipedia article on ftms taking T and walk away refusing to answer her questions.

I don't know if she doesn't understand i'm not comfortable or if she just doesn't care and is thinking whatever
it could be both or just not comfortable i'm not sure. But either way eh, me and my mom don't get along for many reasons if i am to ever get along with my mother there is a lot of things to go over before it even comes close to healing. It's possible i'll end up doing that i am just being skiddish because i know "new questions" will come into play or even worse she'll think of something else.

Quote from: Midnightstar on April 20, 2016, 06:15:04 AM
My mother and me don't get along and never will completely get along
iv'e already realized my mother just wants it to be a phase of some kind so she in the end doesn't have to
know that she messed up a lot of my childhood and teenage years and created some of the problems.
I think she is trying more often but she still has this let it be a phase wish if you ask me, i could be wrong though. Anyways yes i think she is looking for a counter argument not to argue but to have me question which i'm not going to sense iv'e questioned this my entire life. She wants me to confirm its real her actions show it more and more often and i just can't prove to her anything because i can't even prove to myself anything for 100% certainty all i know is i need to do this for me.
I don't know what question she is wanting more
she basically wants to know any question...and anything.
Iv'e already told her i want my body to change and my voice and that i really don't care about facial hair and that i'll shave it.
I also told her that my risk for cancer is basically the same and it wont harm me.
so iv'e answered her questions but it keeps coming up like she is looking for more questions more answers more things to confirm whatever she is thinking (what that is i can't say for sure)

Well you could tell her to wait and see and its a gradual process, it takes a few months.

Quote from: Midnightstar on April 20, 2016, 06:16:03 AM
Just curious it's not as common with females?

Males imo usually don't talk about emotions as much and don't feel to share what they think and feel as much.
Of course there are individual exceptions.

Imo women are looking for some kind of emotional reassurance.

So imo telling to start out slowly and seeing how you feel, and that its a gradual process could be some kind of reassurance.
Not getting too exact so no quick counter arguments are likely.


*hugs*

Quote from: Midnightstar on April 20, 2016, 06:16:03 AM
Just curious it's not as common with females?

I'm not sure I'm the best person to comment considering I'm trans and all, plus its a bit of a tricky topic.

However, when men have problems they tend not to want to talk about it. Women seeing men have a problem want to share, upsetting the guy even more, and women then get upset they are not sharing. I've done it from the male side (still do it as well). I'm sure there's plenty on Internet on the topic.

Quote from: AnonyMs on April 20, 2016, 06:27:09 AM
I'm not sure I'm the best person to comment considering I'm trans and all, plus its a bit of a tricky topic.

However, when men have problems they tend not to want to talk about it. Women seeing men have a problem want to share, upsetting the guy even more, and women then get upset they are not sharing. I've done it from the male side (still do it as well). I'm sure there's plenty on Internet on the topic.

It's interesting for sure
but to be honest i'm both depending on the situation
hence why stereotypes always made me think i can't be trans, but its interesting for sure.

Quote from: Midnightstar on April 20, 2016, 06:36:10 AM
It's interesting for sure
but to be honest i'm both depending on the situation
hence why stereotypes always made me think i can't be trans, but its interesting for sure.

As trans its possible you have both alternatives more available.
Its also possible it changes some on hormones. It also can have some mental effects.


*hugs*

Quote from: Midnightstar on April 20, 2016, 06:36:10 AM
hence why stereotypes always made me think i can't be trans, but its interesting for sure.

I don't think stereotypes are useful for working that out, though they can give you validation if you match them. I'm pretty much stereotypically male, but I can't survive without estrogen and possibly transition. Its a mystery, but I don't let it bother me.

Quote from: Midnightstar on April 20, 2016, 05:46:15 AM
my mother doesn't understand space or any hint of space.

That sounds like the problem right there. Anyone who doesn't respect boundaries and privacy is probably not someone any of us would want to open up to, and therefore I think probably a normal reaction on your part. I have a friend who has a very invasive mother, and his instinctual reaction is to keep even more from her rather than to open up. Frankly, I think a bit of personal space and privacy is a human requirement for sanity.

all you really need to tell her is that everything a male goes through with puberty is what you will go through. she shouldn't have too many questions after that, because it is pretty obvious the signs of puberty and is generally common knowledge. the only thing i felt kinda awkward telling my mom about was that you get lower growth because that is one of those things that most people don't realize actually happens on T unless you have looked up the information.

i also think you may feel uncomfortable because you did say you and your mom don't get along that great and you said she is hoping it is just a phase. i think when you can sense that someone isn't approving, you feel super uncomfortable telling them stuff.