Hi everyone,
I had voice surgery with Dr. Haben on March 23rd. I have found it helpful to read through other people's experiences, so I thought I'd share my own. I only had the Glottoplasty (what Dr. Haben calls "The Single").
I have created a page which I will keep updated with samples of my voice as I heal.
You can find it here.So far, my experience has been positive. I met with Dr. Haben the day before surgery. He scoped my throat and took samples of my voice. He estimated my average pitch without using voice training to be between 140hz and 145hz. He told me that he wanted my post-op pitch to be between 195hz and 200hz. I told him that I had been hoping for at least 205hz. He told me that he was worried about trying to go that high because he needed room for a margin of error of about 10-15hz, and my voice could end up not matching my body. We agreed that he would do what was best in his professional experience, and that I would accept that.
After surgery, Dr. Haben told me that he had sutured up 45% of my vocal chords. It sounded like he had done a little bit more than originally planned based on my request that my pitch come out a little higher in the end. I trust that whatever he did was the right choice.
Prior to surgery, I bought an older model iPad Mini, and set it up with some software that allows me to type in large letters, as well as having what I wrote read aloud if I want it to be. The text-to-speech component is turning out to be almost useless, because my tablet's speakers are so weak. It doesn't matter much though, because in most situations it works out fine to just show people what I wrote.
I have already been struggling with the voice rest. I have coughed on a number of occasions when the build up in my throat was too much to stop myself. On one occasion my mom said something funny, and although I tried really, really hard not to laugh, I felt my vocal chords tighten a little bit. A few times, I accidentally whispered a single word before I realized that I had. I'm also pretty sure that I've felt my vocal chords moving when I'm writing something online. I'm doing my best not to make any noise, but it's honestly a lot harder than I thought it was to not move my vocal cords at all.
Post-op, I've become a tea addict. It turns out that chamomile tea with honey is amazing when you've had voice surgery. I'm basically just guzzling it non-stop. It soothes the pain, and also clears out stuff that can cause coughing. I'm also keeping water on me at all times so that I can drink it when I feel the urge to cough. It doesn't always stop me, but it does help.
The surgery is more painful than I expected. My friends have taken to saying that I traded my voice to a sea witch for a throat dragon. The first few days after surgery I could barely get food down because everything hurt so much. It took me an hour and a half just to eat some salmon the night after surgery because I could only get down a very tiny amount every few minutes. I was finally able to get some down after having both hot tea and ice cream. The pain's a lot better a few days after surgery, and now it basically just feels like I have a bad cold.
Compared to FFS, this isn't too bad. I woke up feeling about 50 times better after this surgery than I did after FFS. Even in the recovery room I was making jokes using my tablet and posting things to Facebook. It does feel like hell, but physically it's not as painful by far as FFS. Emotionally, this surgery is terrifying. Every time I can't prevent myself from coughing, I sit there for about ten minutes with my hands clasped over my mouth and a terrified expression on my face. I feel constantly like I'm going to ruin my voice, but I don't think I can do more than I already am to protect it.
Getting through airport security on the way home was interesting. Getting through security while trans is scary enough, but not being able to say anything to the TSA adds a new dimension to it. Luckily, the Rochester TSA was awesome to me. Their particle scanners went off on me (because of course they did), but they had a woman frisk me, and used the right pronouns the whole time.
I'm home now, and it's basically just a waiting game. I'm brewing tea constantly, and just trying to rest. I don't expect to have the slightest clue how this actually went until at least mid June (three months post-op). I'm glad to be on the healing end of things, and am just getting used to being (hopefully temporarily) mute.
