This is my third and by far the most successful attempt I have made to Transition. In the other two cases they failed because of a number of things but essentially I could not find the right help. This time I have found the right help and many things including a few pleasant surprises have fallen into place.

I am just over a week from my 2nd Psych appointment. At the first 2 months ago, I had asked for the letter I need for HRT and Dr J deferred me until this next appointment so he could speak to the Psychologist I have been working with for 9 months and who also works with him. He wanted time to re-read the other psychiatrists report etc etc... which I think is more than reasonable. So at this next appointment I am hoping to get my letter. My Psychologist told me at our last session that she can do no more for me and unless I wanted to "Pop in for a social coffee and a chat". To be really honest I am not sure what else there is left for me to do that I am not already doing or have already done.

So I find myself getting wound up about this appointment already...I get this pervasive feeling that this appointment is going to be my stumbling block...there is nothing rational about that thought. There is no reason it should be the stumbling block and that once again, my transition comes off the rails and I have to return to the misery... I keep thinking "It is all going too smoothly, something always comes along and screws it up for me, so it must be the Psychiatrist in this case"...Pretty stupid I know...I have nothing other than paranoia to base this on. But for the life of me I can't seem to shake that way of thinking. I keep imagining these scenarios where he refuses to write my letter and I have to jump through unnecessary hoops until I satisfy whatever his demands are. Hmmm...sounds a bit like I am doing a number on myself

So that is why maybe I need a good kick in the backside...to get my thinking straight. There is no reason he shouldn't write the letter for me at the next appointment. He is not there to roadblock me, and I can imagine that once he has read the other Psychiatrists Report, along with My Psychologists report, along with the information from Dr Jones he will be confident enough to write the letter.

Like I said, maybe just a good swift kick in the slats might fix my stupid thinking.

ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

I understand where you're coming from.  After the first endocrinologist turned me down for HRT, I'm looking for the worst at my May 20 second endo appointment.  Despite the fact I was told the first endo was very conservative, despite afterwards a nurse friend said the endo is getting close to retirement and is cherry picking cases, I'm expecting the same from the next appointment.  I guess it's so I won't lay in bed screaming for an hour and then staring at the wall for three hours if I get turned down.

"I guess it's so I won't lay in bed screaming for an hour and then staring at the wall for three hours if I get turned down."

Getting turned down for a valid reason is acceptable to me. Being turned down because the Psych/Therapist is cherry picking cases is not...thats awful. If your frame of mind is anything like mine then I am not going to be very happy if he won't give me the letter unless there is something I have missed along the way...and I don't think so. I don't want to be forced to self-medicate as I think it is very dangerous. I promised my family I would do this via the appropriate standards of care. I deal with the medical profession on a far more regular basis than most people...my Gynecologist looking after my needs for HRT said that it could be a problem getting the letter as I am on narcotic medications. I would be very upset if this was the case as my meds are delivered via an implanted pump and I have no direct contact with the medication until it enters my spinal fluid. There is no way my pain management Dr will change that..he has already said that too me. As far as HRT goes it matters not whether I am on narcotic meds or not.
I am sure logic will prevail.

Liz K