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The Pitfalls of Passing

Started by Rose City Rose, April 30, 2016, 09:56:06 PM

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Rose City Rose

Alright, so I've been mostly passable for a while now. 

Recently though, it's gone to a whole new level.  I'm getting a lot of guys flirting with me (some of them very persistent) and I'm a bit intimidated.  I'm deliberately avoiding the usual pickup spots but it seems I now register as some caliber of BBW.

Good grief... I didn't expect this.  I'm pretty clueless about straight guys because most of my guy friends are gay or bi.  First of all, are straight guys really that broad in their tastes that they'd see me and think "I'd hit that?" I just can't see myself as being beautiful enough to attract that kind of attention.  I always assumed the guys slowing down their cars and staring at me were clocking me!

Second, what's an easy way to kill these conversations without being overly rude?  I've got a guy already (a sweet bisexual teddy bear with a silver voice... a real keeper!) and I'm not looking, and also pretty skeeved out by being approached at random.  Some way to manage these encounters a little better would be very helpful.
*Started HRT January 2013
*Name and gender marker changed September 2014
*Approved and issued letters for surgery September 2015
*Surgery Consultation November 2015
*Preop electrolysis October 2016-March 2019
*GRS April 3 2019
I DID IT!!!
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Dena

You gave the answer. I am flattered but I am already committed to somebody.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
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FTMax

I'm sure you're beautiful enough to attract attention!

My advice would be to just casually mention your boyfriend ("Oh, I'm just waiting here for my boyfriend", "I'm just grabbing a drink before I go meet my boyfriend for dinner", etc.). Guys for the most part will respect that you have a male partner. I was a lesbian before I came out and mentioning a girlfriend and my sexuality never worked for me, but I hear from my lady friends that a boyfriend - even an imaginary one! - will make them leave you alone.

If that doesn't work, you could start oversharing and tell them about an awful rash you've got :)
T: 12/5/2014 | Top: 4/21/2015 | Hysto: 2/6/2016 | Meta: 3/21/2017

I don't come here anymore, so if you need to get in touch send an email: maxdoeswork AT protonmail.com
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noleen111

welcome to womanhood, sadly its one of the things women have to put up with.

I remember the first time I was hit on, was an overwhelming experience, I actually did not know how to react. lol.. I remember making an excuse up and left.. My roommate (who is cis-female) laughed at me and said, you do know he was hitting on you.

But you can have some fun with it, I remember in my single days, i let the guys buy me drinks and i chatted with them, they got nothing more.. I could go out for a night and not pay for one drink, ok I did wear tops that showed off my D cup cleavage.

A tip to keep them away.. wear a ring on your ring finger, that keeps them away.. Since i have been engaged, no man hits on me.
Enjoying ride the hormones are giving me... finally becoming the woman I always knew I was
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JoanneB

This old bag getting hit on really blew me away. My wedding band and engagement ring provided the much needed exit. But not without a lot of sweating over making sure not to say "My wife...."  :o

As to your other questions. Most straight guys are horn dogs. Each have their favorite types of woman. Most will acknowledge some center-fold is hot but also all know totally out of their league to a silent, yeah but she isn't really my type.
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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Rose City Rose

Quote from: Dena on April 30, 2016, 10:32:49 PM
You gave the answer. I am flattered but I am already committed to somebody.

That isn't enough for some of them.  They see me alone or not wearing a ring (can't afford one) and they assume it's on the rocks or I'm lying about my commitment.
*Started HRT January 2013
*Name and gender marker changed September 2014
*Approved and issued letters for surgery September 2015
*Surgery Consultation November 2015
*Preop electrolysis October 2016-March 2019
*GRS April 3 2019
I DID IT!!!
[/color]
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Mermaid

Don't know what kind of setting these men appear in, but honesty or a "I'm not interested" should suffice? I don't have much experience with this since I don't go to clubs or bars much. Save for one or two incidents, I've only gotten random "hellos" on the street, I just kept walking and didn't look... easy enough.
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Fresas con Nata

Quote from: Mermaid on May 06, 2016, 11:56:39 PM
Don't know what kind of setting these men appear in, but honesty or a "I'm not interested" should suffice?

"You know, the problem with women is that they don't know what they want, they don't know what they need. Come with me and I'll show you".

An "I'm not interested" doesn't suffice for some.
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HeatherR

I wish I was blessed with this curse...
The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.  ~Ralph Blum~



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KyleeKrow

Urgh....I know what you mean. And it doesn't seem to matter what I tell them. They just don't take a hint. :-\
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Kylo

Even a crap old ring that I wore on the ring finger because it was the only finger it fit on was enough to keep hardcore tryers at bay in a foreign country for me.


"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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JoanneB

Quote from: Fresas con Nata on May 07, 2016, 03:59:33 AM
"You know, the problem with women is that they don't know what they want, they don't know what they need. Come with me and I'll show you".

An "I'm not interested" doesn't suffice for some.
Being a chameleon and knowing all too well how real guys think, the sad fact is that for MANY simply acknowledging their existence in any way, including a glance,  implies you got the hots for them  ::)
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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