Hiya!!

I just wanted to share a quick update on my life. I've been away from the forums for quite a bit and just getting on with uni and stuff, but of course I've still had all these feelings of wanting to be a woman I haven't really acted much on them other than dressing up every now and again, but that all changed last night.

I'm currently at my girlfriend's flat and we were in bed together. My dysphoria had been pretty bad that day and I knew that I needed to tell her soon but I was too scared! I decided instead to tell her that I'm bi (which is true) and if she reacted poorly then I'd probably avoid telling her about being trans. She reacted really well and we had a chat about how long I've known and what sort of boys I like. There was a moment in the conversation where I said that I like feminine guys and if I had been allowed to be one when I was growing up I probably would have been. When I told her this she said she felt sad that I haven't been able to discover who I am properly and she gave me a big hug.

This was when I decided it was time to tell her the absolute truth.

I told her I had something else to tell her but I was too scared to. She asked me what it was and I was sort of dodging it, hoping she would be able to guess it and say it for me (I was saying things like "have you ever wondered what it would be like to be guy? Because I wonder what it would be like to be a girl... like everyday"). Still hugging me, she said she didn't know what I was on about (I later found out she did but was trying to get me to say it myself) so I told her that there's a chance I might be transgender.

She hugged me and kissed me and told me "before we were a couple we were friends, so I always just want the best for you and I want to help you figure out who you are!" I'm so happy with how it went!! We sat in bed for hours just talking about how long I'd felt this way and how often and what I might possibly want to do about it in the future. She said that from everything I told her it sounds to her like I'm more than a crossdresser and might want to transition fully in to a woman and hearing that made me happy and excited!!

That night she did my makeup and shaved my legs. She keeps asking to see photos of me but I'm still a bit scared of doing that, soon I will though!!

I'm just so happy that I'm finally out to someone and even more happy that I came out to my amazing and accepting girlfriend!!

xxx

Great news!

Well it was a promising start...

We just had a massive heart to heart and a big cry over everything. She said she'll always love me and she'll always be there for me but she can't be my girlfriend if I go through with it.

She did however emphasise that I need to make sure I know what I want and I need to explore being a girl and speak to a professional so she's being very reasonable

I just can't picture a future without her as my girlfriend so this is gonna be tough and upsetting for both of us

Quote from: Hannah Samira on May 02, 2016, 09:25:13 AM
Well it was a promising start...

We just had a massive heart to heart and a big cry over everything. She said she'll always love me and she'll always be there for me but she can't be my girlfriend if I go through with it.

She did however emphasise that I need to make sure I know what I want and I need to explore being a girl and speak to a professional so she's being very reasonable

I just can't picture a future without her as my girlfriend so this is gonna be tough and upsetting for both of us

That's exactly what I told my husband. After much soul searching and looking into himself, he realized he really didn't want to transition anyway because he doesn't really feel anymore female than he does male (good news for us, bad news for the divorce professionals.  ) Have you really thought about it to that level and know that transition is what you absolutely want more than anything? If you have and it is, then it's best to know where everyone stands now rather than years down the road when it gets even harder. If you haven't, then perhaps there's a middle ground where you can both be happy.

So happy for you girl . Wish It went That way too with My ex

Quote from: PrincessButtercup on May 02, 2016, 09:49:15 AM
That's exactly what I told my husband. After much soul searching and looking into himself, he realized he really didn't want to transition anyway because he doesn't really feel anymore female than he does male (good news for us, bad news for the divorce professionals.  ) Have you really thought about it to that level and know that transition is what you absolutely want more than anything? If you have and it is, then it's best to know where everyone stands now rather than years down the road when it gets even harder. If you haven't, then perhaps there's a middle ground where you can both be happy.

Yeah that's kind of similar to us. She said if I transition she'll be my best friend and she'll support me all the way but she can't be my girlfriend. If I decide against it but still crossdress and stuff then she's fine with it basically we're still together while I'm figuring myself out, but if/when I decide I want to transition we'll split up

Quote from: archlord on May 02, 2016, 10:18:40 AM
So happy for you girl . Wish It went That way too with My ex

Thank you, I wish she'd stay but it's a better reaction than I thought it would be!!

Further update!!

She agreed to take me shopping some time so things are looking promising!! x

A guarantee of being your BFF no matter what is a great place to start you are so lucky.

She is with you just now and you have her full and dare I say enthusiastic support which is truly amazing.

Hope yous have a fantastic time shopping and playing etc.

You've got a girl there with a really level head on her shoulders.  Congratulations!  Me and my wife are still married, but we're basically sisters who occasionally grope each other now, lol...it's....odd....  Think, the TV show Will and Grace, haha.

Coming out to someone close to you who can give you reassurance, confidence, affirmation, guidance, encouragement, and even the occasional reality-check is so wonderful.  You are setup for a successful exploration of your identity now.  Whether you decide to transition or not, it sound like she will be there to help you figure it out.  And yes, find a therapist too, haha.  Best of luck to you both!!!

As a cis, hetero woman I had a similar reaction to  my SO's wish to transition--at first. It's hard to feel at first like we are losing the "person" we have been with. Part of us I think also feels full of question's or feels like what we though you enjoyed with us wasn't enough... But I've come to realize that she will still be the same he that I've always loved. It sounds like many transwomen's SO's might not always have the best reactions through this emotional process. The more I have thought about it the more I want to be with her, and in many ways it will be a new exploration for both of us.Ultimately I believe who you spend your life with is about your bond and friendship which is the foundation of love.  Your Gf might feel the same way too if you give her some time.  I just hope that my SO can forgive my initial struggles and still wants a future with me too.   

Thank you for all your messages and support!! Yeah I know I'm a lucky girl!! x

I'm so glad you are both working together on this! Even if you might possible lose her as a girlfriend, she sounds like a strong ally.

I really hope you two can stay together in some form.

Quote from: SofiN on May 03, 2016, 01:02:34 PM
I'm so glad you are both working together on this! Even if you might possible lose her as a girlfriend, she sounds like a strong ally.

I really hope you two can stay together in some form.

I hope so too babe, I really do x