What i don't understand is why words are so helpful
then fade. I wish i understood why.
That and venting
the world says do it but if you do to much the world pushes you away
apparently that's okay.

Quote from: Midnightstar on May 03, 2016, 02:41:13 AM
What i don't understand is why words are so helpful then fade. I wish i understood why.

It used to be that I found myself discouraged and depressed a lot. It wasn't that there were good things happening in my life, there was, but it felt like they would glow momentarily and then fade away as soon as the next downer came along. It made it hard to break the cycle of up and down. And then... I had one particularly enjoyable weekend, one where I had fun, enjoyed myself, enjoyed companionship... and I realised I could keep those positive moments not just in my memory but in my heart. When something bad, unpleasant or distressing was going on I was able to remember a good time and it would help light the gloom, ease the pain and get me generally feeling a bit better about things. So I understand what you are saying, but really helpful/powerful/heartening words and moments in life only fades if we let it. The trick is to hold onto the joy or the inspiration you felt in that moment, keep it close to your heart so you can draw upon it when things seem to be going down the crapper instead. Over time it will be easier and easier to do.

Quote from: Midnightstar on May 03, 2016, 02:41:13 AM
...and venting, the world says do it but if you do to much the world pushes you away apparently that's okay.

People can only take so much of another person's pain and anger. Yes, they will encourage you to get things off your chest but then stop listening if it goes on too long or becomes too personal. It's just the way people are. That's why I found it good to have  a counsellor, I could complain and rage about the world for a whole hour and she would sit there and listen to me do it. But then, she also helped steer me towards my own solutions, no point in complaining if I wasn't going to do something constructive and proactive about it. That's results based venting!!

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 03, 2016, 02:55:58 AM
It used to be that I found myself discouraged and depressed a lot. It wasn't that there were good things happening in my life, there was, but it felt like they would glow momentarily and then fade away as soon as the next downer came along. It made it hard to break the cycle of up and down. And then... I had one particularly enjoyable weekend, one where I had fun, enjoyed myself, enjoyed companionship... and I realised I could keep those positive moments not just in my memory but in my heart. When something bad, unpleasant or distressing was going on I was able to remember a good time and it would help light the gloom, ease the pain and get me generally feeling a bit better about things. So I understand what you are saying, but really helpful/powerful/heartening words and moments in life only fades if we let it. The trick is to hold onto the joy or the inspiration you felt in that moment, keep it close to your heart so you can draw upon it when things seem to be going down the crapper instead. Over time it will be easier and easier to do.


People can only take so much of another person's pain and anger. Yes, they will encourage you to get things off your chest but then stop listening if it goes on too long or becomes too personal. It's just the way people are. That's why I found it good to have  a counsellor, I could complain and rage about the world for a whole hour and she would sit there and listen to me do it. But then, she also helped steer me towards my own solutions, no point in complaining if I wasn't going to do something constructive and proactive about it. That's results based venting!!

Yea, sometimes i think i'm to concerned about helping others and that's the reason why i stay with this guy
i think he is a good coundsellor but i wonder if i just need one who actually is trans and gets it completely.
not that he doesn't try, but then i feel bad for leaving like that when i know he's gotten me what i need to an extent i mean he carved a path.

Well, none of my counsellors have been trans but they've helped me. A really good counsellor should be able to work with whatever issue might present without having actual lived experience of it.

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 03, 2016, 03:07:50 AM
Well, none of my counsellors have been trans but they've helped me. A really good counsellor should be able to work with whatever issue might present without having actual lived experience of it.

Yea, i get that i just need to figure out what i want to do.
Honestly though, iv'e done and gone so far from where i was at the start i see that myself
but the people who pushed me away didn't see that, it took me a while to comprehend why
then i sorta started to wonder if maybe they didn't care. But that didn't make sense either because
then why would they want to ever had conversed?
Sometimes i'm to much of a thinker or to analytical for my own good.   

By "people" I'm presuming you're not talking about counsellors but about people in your life??

Just because people don't agree with you doesn't mean they don't care. And if people aren't willing to listen that also doesn't mean they don't care, they might not have the time or might have some problems of their own that they're dealing with.

But if the "people who pushed you away" are counsellors then yes, time to find a new counsellor.

Quote from: Midnightstar on May 03, 2016, 03:12:32 AM
 
Yea, i get that i just need to figure out what i want to do.

...

Sometimes i'm to much of a thinker or to analytical for my own good.   

Yes, sometimes our mind gets in the way of our heart. So, don't think about it, don't start weighing this against that, don't plot out 50 "possible" futures, don't worry about what everyone else might think or react - simply, what do you want to do?

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 03, 2016, 03:20:57 AM
By "people" I'm presuming you're not talking about counsellors but about people in your life??

Just because people don't agree with you doesn't mean they don't care. And if people aren't willing to listen that also doesn't mean they don't care, they might not have the time or might have some problems of their own that they're dealing with.

But if the "people who pushed you away" are counsellors then yes, time to find a new counsellor.

Yes, sometimes our mind gets in the way of our heart. So, don't think about it, don't start weighing this against that, don't plot out 50 "possible" futures, don't worry about what everyone else might think or react - simply, what do you want to do?

Ha, oh i know that answer
but i can't get there so soon or maybe ever so time to find another path.
I'm attempting to find a way to stay active but still happy so i can move forward
because if i don't want to be down while on my first path to transition that would suck...

Words are magical that is why their crafting is called spelling

For me though words give me another way to talk to myself and others.
Nice to bring order to chaos at times.

Words are pretty much the only way we have of sharing our thoughts with most people.
At times though a hug, a scream or a look can say way more than words.