I live in the midwest where most people are conservative and so what Im about to say is part of what I struggle with. My hair for some reason when it was short, people just loved it. As I grew it out, so many couldnt just shut up about my hair and instead well worry about their own. Why well boys are suppose to have short hair and girls have long hair or atleast that is the stereotype or whatever it is here. Because they think Im a boy, when my hair did grow out some, there were people that just couldnt shut up about my hair.

It was like they just bug me about till I say alright whatever and go to get a haircut to make them shut up but than as time goes by these people when it grows more, I have to hear this from people again so the cycle just keeps going. Really back in dec of 2014, I had my hair down to my shoulders and so I went a few months later talked in to a dumb boys haircut so ya I went into severe depression about like nearly wanting to die. Well I let it grow some getting good length but hey I get hounded a bunch so I go and cut some off so they will shut up so like today, I just asked for a very tiny bit cut off when I didnt even want to be there, she cut off like 2 inches or so. I never get any growth because of this nonsense.

Oh but hey make others happy if it makes them shut up. It gets old, it just kills me inside and Im sick of it. By now I would have had the hair length I wanted but people talk soo much that I say it's easier to cut some a bit so I dont have to hear them talk for awhile.

Luckily its not too bad but Im angry but I always put on a happy face to not make others feel bad so I never am myself.

Hi Larisa,
If it were me I would not change what I want because of others opinions. Opinions are just someone else's idea and you can either take it on board or do your own thing or a mix.
Be strong and believe in yourself and what you want. You care of others thoughts but are their thoughts caring or selfish?  I would consider very hard if the opinions that are swaying you are worth listening to or just let them vent out their hot air.
I would love to have a choice in growing hair but alas not so.
I would love to hear that you have grown it long and are feeling much better in yourself.
You get to decide how your life is lived and only compromise if it is your partner or if a compromise is really needed.
Cheers
Sue

When I'm told to cut my hair I ask em when did they become my boss. I wear my hair the way I like it period and I live in Texas.

Unless you are dependent on someone else in any way, you shouldn't ever allow them to tell you how to live your life. Eventually you have to give them a solid "NO" or you will continue to live life by their standards forever. How much that matters to you is entirely up to you.

Screw doing things that you hate to make other people happy. Tell them to go get stuffed.

Notes to take:
1: They are talking, they are annoying. Tell them to go shove off.
2: They are not the government in a communist nature... You DO what yo want, they can't make you do anything.
3: You are your own person, not anyone else's, well unless you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, but then again they should be caring and accepting.
4: You are not in any armed services, therefore they cannot make you cut your hair.

I'm not so lucky, I am in the Army, well at least the reserves, so I literally can't do much of growing my hair out. But it doesn't mean, even though sometimes it is really really short, I cannot style it my own way, in which gives a feminine look.

Try not to let them get to you, possibly in a case of standing up for yourself and not caring what they say, they may even stop chattering nonsense.

Kate <3

I had a terrible time getting to sleep last night just trying to find a way to relax away from all the pain. Im still hurting today and I shouldnt have to. I shouldnt have to feel so awful. Im always doing this type of stuff just to make sure others are happy even if Im not. Im gonna say something today to hopefully get people to stop. If they could feel the pain I feel, they would never talk again but what they dont realize, Id never want them to feel this pain. Id never wish it on anyone.

I hope people will just stop. If they want to think it, fine but stop talking about it. I feel like Im always being who they want me to be, not who I am. Like my hair, it's my hair, not theirs to control. I hope talking this out will help cause I promised Id never go through this hell again and here I am again suffering horribly.

As long as the people can say something and you respond by cutting your hair they aren't going to stop bugging you.

The way to stop it is to stand firm - tell them no and that you like it longer. If they persist in bugging you then ask them how the length of your hair causes any effect on their life?

As long as it's clean and styled neatly and you don't work in a profession where having long hair can be dangerous then I don't see any problem.

Be careful if you are in an environment where someone might physically assault you because of having longer hair. Also, if you still live at home with your parents then disregard the above - you'll have to play by their rules until you get out and begin living on your own.

There will always be people that don't approve of you no matter who you are. Trying to please everyone will be a very exhausting life. You need to focus on your own happiness first. If that involves growing your hair out, the rest of them are just going to have to suck it up.

I grew up with parents like this and the cycle is always the same. You do something they don't approve of. They grill you on how wrong you are. If that doesn't work, they move on to making sure you know how much they love and support you and that they're just trying to help you because other people (not them) won't understand. You give in and change for them so they'll leave you in peace. They vanish from your life, as if they never even existed. The next time you do something they don't approve of, they're back to pounce all over you and repeat the cycle. It's like the only time they're happy is when you're not. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life and it will always be there until you learn to stand your ground against it. As long as they know they can manipulate you, they will.


***EDIT***
Edited to add the same disclaimer as the above poster. Standing your ground against that stuff doesn't typically work too well when you're still under their roof or unable to get away if necessary.

I've worked hard for the past 8 months looking after my hair as it slowly grows (oh so slowly when you are watching) and I do it all for me.

Until it gets long enough to style nobody is getting near it with scissors.
So far my hair condition seems to be ok so no need to even get it dusted to get rid of split ends.

I am sorry for the loss you feel as I imagine how much it would devastate me if my hair was taken by force (the only way).

I wish I could make it better for you but the only thing you can do is embrace this pain and let it burn (turn it into fury if you must) so hopefully next time you will remember how just much it hurts you to the depths of your soul and say "No".

And if that doesn't work scream it until they walk away or you run out of breath.

I still present as male, but I haven't cut my hair in years.  For at least ten years, it hasn't seen scissors at all.  Before that, I'd cut an inch or two off it every few months, but kept it long.  I wear it in a ponytail.  I got a few funny looks at work at first, but they quickly got used to it.

You have to be willing to tell people to go pound sand.  Nicely of course, in the case of parents or friends, but firmly, nevertheless.

- you might grow your hair out and keep it in a ponytail in guy mode.
- if asked many people say they like the hairstyle of lord of the rings

- you might think about biotin or brewers yeast supplements.
I'd use organic ... and brewers yeast might not be a good idea if used together with mao antidepressants ...
if in doubt ask a doc ...

I have read an article where people compared growth. Its only a few mms each month but it adds up, some people had additional growth of 50 per cent and more. Supplements are also marketed for that purpose.


hugs

I tried to talk it out first with my mom just a few minutes ago and it went awful. I think she thinks Im just trying to be funny or something. She didnt laugh however like she was kind of angry about me bugging her about this. I was hoping maybe she would listen but it went the complete opposite. She even hung up on me and she never does that. If she could feel how I feel, she would change her thinking QUICK. All I want is for people to stop talking about my hair and leave me alone about it yet because they think Im a boy, this is what I face. She basically hanged up when I started to say it's my hair, not other people hair. Im really shocked why she would be this way but than society can have a way of controlling people with alot of nonsense.

I have a few other people I have to talk to about leaving me alone about my hair. Im just so sick of it all. Def gonna talk to my therapist about this when I see him in a few days. I dont deserve to feel like hell.

When I started to grow my hair longer, I got crap from many people at work and home. Weird how people link hair to political positions and other silly stuff. As it's gotten longer and has more style, I have women come up and tell me how beautiful my hair is. Drives my wife crazy when that happens. She doesn't like my hair. But it is my hair. It makes me feel better and is one of the few expressions I can have of who I am. I'm pretty defensive about it after so much stuff said by others, but I'm not going shorter as that just depresses the hell out of me. You have to live with you. I say just smile at the haters and move on.

I talked to her again and she said she would stop. She told me she doesnt like when it's long but that she will stop talking about it so I guess maybe that's okay. The long hair basically saves me from alot of pain meaning dysphoria and so would the people around me want me in pain or would they rather just not really like my hair. Id go with not like my hair but be quiet about it. I know it will grow back but what is a problem is telling a few other people to calm down about it also.

What these people dont realize is some people really did like my hair longer. I have to be me, not someone else.