Heya!!
I want to come out to my family (mum, dad, younger brother) and need advice.
I'm trying to think of ways to get everyone together and have a chat with them, but it's unbelievably daunting. I don't think I can just slip it into random conversations with them all individually, I want to do it together, help promote family bonding. But we're not a very chatty and open family. I also want to appear like i'm confident and in control (I never am) to help reassure them as they receive the news. I'm helplessly depressed and anxious and have been for a while now (who isn't, right?) and feel that doing this will help me somewhat, but i'm a coward and afraid of the consequences.
So I thought I would try and predict the first few questions and deliver enough information in my responses to incite some interest to replace any shock or disgust. I've written a page to sorta rehearse, it's below. I would like to hear what you guys and gals think about this, is it a good idea? Is there a better way to do it?
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I'd like to have an honest conversation with you all. I need to tell you all something about me as you're likely to notice me change somewhat over the next few months. I consider myself transgender. Some might say "queer", but I'm ok with that."So you're a ->-bleeped-<-?"Firstly that slur is an umbrella insult used chiefly to describe people who are transgender, transsexual, wearing drag, ->-bleeped-<-s, or cross-dressers.
I'd prefer a more androgynous look, so I'm not going to be dressing up."But you said your were transgender, well what's the difference?"Transgender means I experience a mismatch between my gender identity and gender expression. It's important to understand that the concept of gender is different to sexual anatomy.An important part of gender identity is gender roll, which is a set of societal norms dictating what types of behaviors are generally considered acceptable, appropriate, or desirable for a person based on their actual or perceived sex.Transsexual people experience a gender identity that is inconsistent with, or not culturally associated with, their assigned sex, and desire to permanently transition to the gender with which they identify, usually seeking medical assistance (including hormone replacement therapy and other sex reassignment therapies) to help them align their body with their identified sex or gender."So you're not going to get surgery? You'll still me a man?"Like I said gender and sex are different things, I consider myself transgender. So I'm uncomfortable with my assigned gender roll of male, I consider myself more feminine than masculine. I've tried many times to try and fix this by man'ing up but it never feels right, like I'm pretending. I hate how male my face looks, my facial hair, jaw and brow disgust me. So do my genitals and body hair. And I wished my voice was higher and smoother. These are considered symptoms of gender dysphoria. That's the condition of feeling one's emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one's biological sex."So to clarify?"I am gender dysphoric, it's a big contributor to my depression. I am very uncomfortable with my gender roll. I'd like to start appearing more androgynous to help relieve this anxiety. That might involve me looking and sounding "strange", at least for a while. I'm still me, I just want to be more open with the real me inside.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From here I think I could answer most questions from my own knowledge, and I guess there'd me a lot of personal questions that only I could answer anyway. But maybe the script would be enough to cushion the blow and deliver enough vital information?
Please, let me know what you think.
Thankyou
