Hi everyone.

I mentioned in another thread that I got the ok from my hematologist to begin T, but at a low doseage to avoid DVTs. Anyways, someone on here said that transmen are on high doses of T and provided clinical studies to back up that claim. Why is this always happening to me? I mean, that's why when something supposedly good happens to me for the first time in decades I don't get excited about it because I know there is always a but somewhere in there just waiting to suffocate me and rob me of what little joy I could ever hope to muster from this ->-bleeped-<- pile life of mine. For once, I just want to be happy and feel normal. Am I allowed to feel happy and normal or must I feel like a freak of nature for the entirety of my insignificant life?

It's pretty common for us to be started out on a low dose. I was started on a quarter the transition dose and after surgery I was returned to a quarter transition dose. The initial dose is set and a blood test is run about 3 months latter to see how your body is adjusting to the new balance. If everything is good and you desire it, the dose may be adjusted higher for another cycle. Some people maintain high hormone levels on a low dose and others need a higher level to maintain problem blood levels.

There is nothing wrong with your treatment and it's pretty much by the book.

Ok. I am not sure what I should be thinking. So, you're saying that being on a low dose at first is normal after all? I hope I will be one of the people whose hormone levels are high. I mean right now my T is low. It still really bothers me that other transguys get to be on a greater dose of T than me. It makes me feel less of a person, of a man. Like I'm not ever going to be man enough to handle T...

Patience. Nobody gets full dose the first time around unless they self medicate. The safe way is to make start small and monitor your liver function and levels. If liver function is good and levels are low, bump up the dosage as needed. Even CIS men start out puberty slow and their T levels ramp up over time so that makes you the same as any guy on T, injected or produced naturally.

Don't take it personally as it's just part of the process and by the way, there are other guys on the site receiving low T treatment.

Quote from: Dena on May 11, 2016, 10:41:00 PM
Patience. Nobody gets full dose the first time around unless they self medicate. The safe way is to make start small and monitor your liver function and levels. If liver function is good and levels are low, bump up the dosage as needed. Even CIS men start out puberty slow and their T levels ramp up over time so that makes you the same as any guy on T, injected or produced naturally.

Don't take it personally as it's just part of the process and by the way, there are other guys on the site receiving low T treatment.

Well, when you put it that way, I can't help but feel alot better. I'm glad I am about to start T at all. I wasn't sure if I would ever get this far. So I wonder why that member was saying those things. I think she said them out of concern but it just hurt to think that maybe I could be getting more out of T if I knew the right things to say. But if what you say is true, then I will just follow my doctors orders and see where things take me after I've been on T for a good while.

I was on a half dose for a month to start, and then bumped up to what is considered a full dose. After my hysterectomy, my dose was reduced by 20%.

Everyones body reacts to T differently. I strongly believe it is best for everyone to ease into hormones to get an initial reading on how their body reacts to the changes and whether or not anything problematic develops. There is no guarantee about what changes will or won't occur, or when they will occur. While on a half dose, I had just as many changes as guys starting at the same time on a full dose. It is all down to individual body chemistry at that point.

I would say, accept the low dose and make it clear to your doctor that you would like to have your a CBC, CMP, Lipid Panel, TSH, T, and E test done quarterly, and that if you are within the reference ranges on those tests and otherwise responding well, that you would like to consider moving up to a full dose at 6 months.

Quote from: FTMax on May 11, 2016, 10:56:56 PM
I was on a half dose for a month to start, and then bumped up to what is considered a full dose. After my hysterectomy, my dose was reduced by 20%.

Everyones body reacts to T differently. I strongly believe it is best for everyone to ease into hormones to get an initial reading on how their body reacts to the changes and whether or not anything problematic develops. There is no guarantee about what changes will or won't occur, or when they will occur. While on a half dose, I had just as many changes as guys starting at the same time on a full dose. It is all down to individual body chemistry at that point.

I would say, accept the low dose and make it clear to your doctor that you would like to have your a CBC, CMP, Lipid Panel, TSH, T, and E test done quarterly, and that if you are within the reference ranges on those tests and otherwise responding well, that you would like to consider moving up to a full dose at 6 months.

I'm not sure if they ever plan to increase my dose. That's what bothers me. I am not exactly sure whether I have to stay low for the rest of my life or if I can go up later on if my levels are good. They, the endo and hemo, seem very defensive about this because of my past history of clots that nearly took my life five years ago. I think as long as I remain on dialysis and do not go to high on the doses too fast, I will be just fine.

Yeah, and I'll keep that last bit you mentioned in regards to the tests done quarterly. I hope my body can handle T.

Just take it slow. No need to rush anything. Some guys get all they need on a low dose. It's all about finding the balance point between your goals for masculinization and what your body can handle. I didn't want to drop my T dose after my hysterectomy because my beard finally starting coming in nice. But I was so fatigued that I was having to sleep for 10+ hours a day, and would wake up still feeling exhausted.

And when I write it out, I see how stupid and careless it was to not say something to my doctor sooner. It is not normal to need that much sleep and to still feel tired. But I was so caught up in finally having facial hair that connects the whole way around. It was childish of me. What was happening was my T levels had skyrocketed since they were no longer having to fight my ovaries, and the excess was converting to estrogen. So not only was I fatigued, but I was also basically sabotaging any masculinizing gains due to the elevated estrogen.

Most doctors who are trans friendly don't want to deny us HRT. They get how important it is to us, and I do think at least your hematologist understands that. I'm sure if you have nothing but a good experience the first few blood tests, and you make a reasonable case about increasing your dose, you will be heard.

It also depends on your particular levels. My wife's brother had testicular cancer and as a result does not produce his own testosterone anymore. He is on the same formulation of T as I am and on the same schedule (weekly) but his dose is substantially higher than mine, though our lab values are essentially the same. Different people react differently (my dose is, based on research and discussions with my clinician slightly lower than what I would consider the average) but my values are consistently good and I never drop to even the normal low for men.

Even when I first started T, I was on a half dose and saw changes starting.

Like Max, I saw a drastic change after my hysterectomy as well. Though my wife made me call the doctor within 2 weeks of my surgery to get my levels checked. Like Max, I didn't want to but I'm glad I did, my levels were much too high.

In your case in particular, with the other health concerns, I think it probably is wise to start slowly and ensure you aren't risking your overall health with the dose you're prescribed. I know it's tough to wait or go more slowly than you'd like, I remember all too well the need I felt to speed things up. But doing it safely is just as important. Hang in there, even a small dose will give you benefit, just maybe not at the speed you hope for.

i started on a low dose, it was lower then even half dose because my doctor wanted to make sure my body reacted well to it. i still got the changes everyone else did even though my body wasn't producing testosterone in the male range. my voice dropped within 3 months, i noticed facial hair, my period stopped within a month, etc. even now i'm not on what is considered a "full dose" because my testosterone is in the male range. you need to find a balance so starting low is better then starting high because you don't want all the testosterone to convert to estrogen. just have patience. i know i felt like my changes weren't happening at the same rate as other people who have been on T the same amount of time or shorter. now i'm almost 2 years on T and i have facial hair, etc. it happens over time. don't worry so much. this is a happy thing and you should celebrate it, be happy you're on T! you probably thought you never would be, right? things are looking up, it just takes time.

When I started injections I was on a low dose. After a while I went up to a "full dose" which actually made me feel pretty terrible (too much water weight gain for my comfort, plus I could feel that my normally perfect blood pressure was too high) so went back to a slightly lower dose where I feel fantastic.

I know its hard,but be patient (and enjoy being on)!

Just keep in mind that the size of your dose means nothing...It is the amount of T your body can use properly that is most important. For some guys, this amount is larger, for some it is smaller.  I will compare it to my blood pressure medicine for you:  I am on a dose that regulates my blood pressure at a safe level.  Do I want to take more, because more is better, and all the other guys I know take more?  Of course not!  I want to take the amount that keeps me safe and healthy. Do I wish I could take less?  Yes, sometimes, but that would not be enough for my results to be appropriate.  People do not always require the same amount of any type of medicine to be healthy!  Once you start T and have been on it for a while, your levels will be checked and your dose will be adjusted to what is right for YOU!  Any other way of thinking about it seems ridiculous...and

I think you have the right to be a little excited about it!!!! Congrats!

Well, even after my hematologist explained that I would be just fine on a low dose of T, my endo still is not sure whether I should even be on T or not. Even after my hemo's recommendations. She called me herself today and said that the decision is ultimately left to the head endo that is over her.

This is bull->-bleeped-<-, but I don't know what else to do but to wait in suspense for my appointment next month. She is still skeptical because he did not see my recent lab work. I requested to have my endo office fax their's over the my hemo's. I hope once my hemo sees the labs, it won't change his mind about me being on T....So, yeah, I'm not there just yet guys.

I started on a low dose because both my doctor and I wanted to ease into things. As it turns out, I never even approached what is considered a "full" dose -- I ended up easily hitting cis male levels with what I was on, so I've just stayed the course with slight tweaks here and there. Everyone's body reacts differently, so the specific dose you're on doesn't really matter in comparison to others. Whatever works for you is what works for you, so don't stress about the rest.

Ive been contently questioning my doctors on my lower than seemingly necessary levels my entire transition. The doctors dont want to up you very fast because you want your body to mimic a genetic males puberty. I know it can be kinda frustrating, id recommend getting a second opinion if your truely concerned. My t and e levels are still are the fairly lower side of where id want them to be according to test results. however my body has been changing regardless of this. I know i wanted to go up up up. But there are soo many other issues with increasing quickly. Best of luck!! 1.8yrs and still only first phase of estrogen levels ( i think follicular could be wrong tho) and still technically on the loser side. Id assume its quite similar from f2m

Quote from: PrincessLulu on May 14, 2016, 04:58:56 AM
Ive been contently questioning my doctors on my lower than seemingly necessary levels my entire transition. The doctors dont want to up you very fast because you want your body to mimic a genetic males puberty. I know it can be kinda frustrating, id recommend getting a second opinion if your truely concerned. My t and e levels are still are the fairly lower side of where id want them to be according to test results. however my body has been changing regardless of this. I know i wanted to go up up up. But there are soo many other issues with increasing quickly. Best of luck!! 1.8yrs and still only first phase of estrogen levels ( i think follicular could be wrong tho) and still technically on the loser side. Id assume its quite similar from f2m

I'm just trying to wait and see what my endo will say on my next appointment. But I think getting another opinion aside from my hemo would not be such a bad idea. I just wouldn't know from who. Sounds like a conversation I would need to have with the endo.

But I am not even on T. My concern now isn't so much that I will be on a low dose. It's whether or not I will even be on T at all. My endo is still afraid of me getting DVTs even though I have provided her with resources that prove that T does not contribute to DVTs, whether predisposed or not and even with my hemo's recommendation. Like, what am I doing wrong?

Quote from: King Phoenix on May 13, 2016, 04:48:34 PM
Well, even after my hematologist explained that I would be just fine on a low dose of T, my endo still is not sure whether I should even be on T or not. Even after my hemo's recommendations. She called me herself today and said that the decision is ultimately left to the head endo that is over her.

This is bull->-bleeped-<-, but I don't know what else to do but to wait in suspense for my appointment next month. She is still skeptical because he did not see my recent lab work. I requested to have my endo office fax their's over the my hemo's. I hope once my hemo sees the labs, it won't change his mind about me being on T....So, yeah, I'm not there just yet guys.

I really hope you get to stay on T.

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Quote from: arice on May 14, 2016, 07:16:57 PM
I really hope you get to stay on T.

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Thank you, arice. But I honestly haven't even started it yet. Like everyone is dragging their feet. Waiting for the next month to arrive feels like waiting forever.

Quote from: HeyTrace19 on May 12, 2016, 12:19:01 PM
Just keep in mind that the size of your dose means nothing...It is the amount of T your body can use properly that is most important. For some guys, this amount is larger, for some it is smaller.
I think you have the right to be a little excited about it!!!! Congrats!

This exactly. Nearly 6 years ago, I remember actually being angry with how low I felt my dosage was. And it really was low - 0.25 mL once a month, it might have been (memory's fuzzy). So I completely empathize with what you are feeling now.

But, like HeyTrace said, you'll have to see how your body responds, and the best way to get these results is through your doc and lab work. My friend has been on T for half the time I have, and is a few years older, 5 inches taller, and weighs about 20 lb less than me. The other day when we were talking I realized his dose is literally double what mine is.

I will admit, at first I felt a little jealous, because there's usually that common misconception that "more is better." But once I thought about it, I came to terms with my dosage because I know it's right for me. I have no problem growing a full beard, I'm very hairy as it is, deep voice, abundant muscle growth. I just had a hysterectomy 2 weeks ago, and it is likely my dose will be lowered soon, we'll see when I get my labs done in July. But am I worried? Heck nah.

In fact, if my dosage is lowered, I will welcome it. I order through Stroheckers, and a few months ago the cost of T literally increased by $30. If I'm using less T, I'm buying it less, and that's a great thing! 

We are all rooting for you, man. Just know that, and know good things will come your way soon, even if it doesn't feel that way now. Sometimes great opportunities come unexpectedly, just after the darkest times.