Hey everybody!

I'm working on figuring out my gender identity (I've previously always identified as male), and I'm interested in experimenting with wearing some makeup whilst going about my everyday life.

Since I've not yet decided my gender identity, and have only discussed it with one person I know, I'd like to be rather discrete.  However, I also have a bit of a desire to do something that won't just be completely covered up (I know this somewhat contradicts the wish for discretion).  I've often seen people mentioning painting toenails, which I may try, but I'm not looking for advice about that.

I have been leaning towards doing eyeliner, because it can be pretty hard to notice without being extremely close.  However, I recently witnessed an individual in my dorm get "called out" (i.e.: asked) by several if he was wearing eyeliner, which he was.

I certainly do NOT want to be called out for this, but I also ardently wish to try out some form of makeup.  Any advice for what sort of makeup to use, and how to make its use discrete (i.e.: what colors to use, techniques,...).  And, at the risk of being too selective, I again request that you please do not suggest something that will be easily covered up by clothing or anything else.

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On a side note, if any of you have good online resources you can direct me to both for purchasing makeup and for more information on applying it, I'd be much obliged!

Easiest?

Some foundation to reduce blemishes. Such as Olay day cream with foundation.

Neutral lipstick.

NEVER use mascara or eyeliner, it is pretty obvious unless you know how to clean it off. I got caught that way

I'll modify; depending on your age group lots of gender diverse guys wear eye make up. It depends on your social group how people will react.

Quote from: Cindy on May 14, 2016, 03:32:45 AM
Easiest?

Some foundation to reduce blemishes. Such as Olay day cream with foundation.

Neutral lipstick.

NEVER use mascara or eyeliner, it is pretty obvious unless you know how to clean it off. I got caught that way

I'll modify; depending on your age group lots of gender diverse guys wear eye make up. It depends on your social group how people will react.

+1 on avoiding eyeliner or mascara.

At various times, I've used bronzer and finishing powder, neutral eye shadow, and a brow pencil and haven't gotten called out.

I've also pushed the boundary on brow thinness and shape, but still have plausibly male brows. OK, barely plausible, but I wear glasses. 

Ditto on the no eyeliner or mascara. Women can see that from clear across the room. Working on a smoother complexion would probably be safest. Someone suggested to me years ago to just wear clear nail polish, telling me nobody would notice. It was about 30 seconds after I walked in the door to work before 3 different people asked me if I was wearing nail polish. I told them it was stuff to keep me from biting my nails. They didn't buy it.

Quote from: Emileeeee on May 14, 2016, 02:03:03 PM
Ditto on the no eyeliner or mascara. Women can see that from clear across the room. Working on a smoother complexion would probably be safest. Someone suggested to me years ago to just wear clear nail polish, telling me nobody would notice. It was about 30 seconds after I walked in the door to work before 3 different people asked me if I was wearing nail polish. I told them it was stuff to keep me from biting my nails. They didn't buy it.

I was wondering if I could get away with this, that answers my question!

Quote from: popa910 on May 14, 2016, 03:27:02 AM
I have been leaning towards doing eyeliner, because it can be pretty hard to notice without being extremely close.  However, I recently witnessed an individual in my dorm get "called out" (i.e.: asked) by several if he was wearing eyeliner, which he was.

I certainly do NOT want to be called out for this, but I also ardently wish to try out some form of makeup.  Any advice for what sort of makeup to use, and how to make its use discrete (i.e.: what colors to use, techniques,...).  And, at the risk of being too selective, I again request that you please do not suggest something that will be easily covered up by clothing or anything else.

It takes about 3 mins for me to wear eye makeup.
1. Wear eye pencil in the upper eyelid.
2. Wear gel-type eyeliner again in the upper eyelid to fix it.
3. Wear mascara.

It is just a trivial thing, but you will soon see the changes in the responses of people around you. People will love you more.



barbie~~

If you decide to start dressing femme, the first thing you will need to know about makeup is beard cover.  There are lots of ways to do it, but most of them boil down to covering beard shadow with some kind of foundation or concealer, and then adjusting tone by rubbing in some red or orange lipstick to counteract the bluish black color of the hair follicles.

The good things about doing this first, is it is hard for someone to notice it unless they are right up in your face, and also, if you need to give a reason, you can say that you are taking theater, or that you are working in someone's Youtube video, or making videos on your computer.

Haha, thanks for shooting down the eyeliner idea everybody, I didn't think it would be that risky

As for the suggestions, I'll look into trying them out soon!

Thanks!

I remember walking through passport control in Aus. The person looked at me for 2 seconds them my passport and just said; 'Same ear rings, same eyeliner; yep it is you'.

Quote from: Emileeeee on May 14, 2016, 02:03:03 PM
Someone suggested to me years ago to just wear clear nail polish, telling me nobody would notice. It was about 30 seconds after I walked in the door to work before 3 different people asked me if I was wearing nail polish. I told them it was stuff to keep me from biting my nails. They didn't buy it.

Haha funny. I've been wearing clear polish for some weeks at work and, while I'm pretty sure they look to my hands, I still haven't been asked about it at all. This is in both Madrid and London.

I'm also considering some make-up while in guy mode, eg. a layer of foundation, and see what happens.

Quote from: Fresas con Nata on May 15, 2016, 03:29:49 AM
Haha funny. I've been wearing clear polish for some weeks at work and, while I'm pretty sure they look to my hands, I still haven't been asked about it at all. This is in both Madrid and London.

I'm also considering some make-up while in guy mode, eg. a layer of foundation, and see what happens.

Maybe it's different in different countries. This was almost 20 years ago, when people in the US were still focused on figuring out if someone was gay based on their appearance. They still do that but the focus has shifted to trans folk much more lately. They all probably thought I was gay that day.

The field you work in may make a difference too. I'm in software engineering. The people I work with are pretty meticulous. They'd probably spot an extra freckle immediately too.

I like to use a transparent powder, preferably with some glow and blush, together these can soften masculine features quite a lot and hide beard-shadow more than you might think. If I have more time I will add eye shadow. I took my ideas from a Kevin Aucoin book.

A story that goes along with this is I wore this makeup application to a group therapy session many years ago where all of the participants except myself were cis-gender women. There had been a long trend in that group of denying my orientation as presentation with the repeated phrase "there's more to being female than appearance". The reason I chose to apply the makeup that day was I was feeling particularly down and I am given to presenting a bit more femme as 'armor' when I'm stressed or sad.

One participant noted soon after we started that I seemed more full of light that day and the others all chimed in agreeing. It took me a while to process this and quite saddened I responded that after all the negative feedback I'd had about focus on my appearance that the main difference between that day and others was I was that I was made up, my mood may have been improved some by my 'soft armor' but I felt the main thing I'd learned was that they were responding to my having adjusted my appearance a couple of notches towards femme.

This was an important thing for me to learn so graphically that appearance does matter.

OP, good luck with your experience.

You can wear clear nail polish I used it for years, if anyone noticed they did not say anything. You can also wear a BB cream with sunblock they are lightly tinted can cover minor blemishes, and also protect your skin from the sun.

Whilst not a make up suggestion you could try having your eyebrows threaded. Starting small with just a tidy up then gradually changing your brow shape towards the female side.

After telling my beautician about me being trans last week she was surprised but took a fresh look at my eyebrows and said even as a girl there is nothing I'd change there. Was delighted as I had basically designed them myself via extra tweaks at each visit.

From tidy up to gorgeous full arches in less than 6 months. Nobody around me noticed even once they were tinted along with the lashes.

If called early on you could play the metro card if you need to.

It's true that people who know makeup well (that is, women) can easily identify that fact that you're wearing it. That doesn't necessarily have to keep you from wearing it, though. If you intend to eventually present entirely as a woman, it would probably help those around you adjust to the changes if you worked your way through a more androgynous look for long period. People find it more difficult to accept a transition when they see a person one week and they're Mr. Macho, then they're Ms. Femininity the next week. If you don't want people to consider you an "impersonator" you'll start sharing who you really are with them right away-- gradually.

Even if you aren't going to wear full makeup in public right away, start collecting everything and experimenting in private now. Practice until you'll very good at it, so when you are ready to obviously wear full makeup out in public, you'll look great. The best way to build makeup skill is to take one thing at a time and practice it every day or so until you've mastered it.

My light makeup routine and the one that i still do perhaps half the time is:

1. Either eye cream or BB cream
2. Eyeliner in dark brown - (blues or blacks i leave for non-light or evening makeup)
3. Tinted lip gloss
4. Sometimes a bit a of clear mascara

and definitely clear nail polish  - a base coat plus a top coat. I tend to wear more colors now but i went through a lot of that stuff when i was in a more androgynous mode.

I started with a little gray eyeshadow from a smoky eyes palette just on the lid. This by itself was not noticeable, as my lids are a little darker naturally anyway.

After I got comfortable with that, I added the silver and darker gray for the crease, though have yet to go out with the black powder eyeliner, as I have yet to figure out how to get it not looking like a raccoon.

So instead I added pencil eyeliner instead, and also mascara. I wear this most of the time now. This is how I got comfortable wearing eye makeup. I don't really care if I get called out on it at this point. There are guys that wear eye makeup, most of them are rock stars. I find having a bit of a rock star attitude is helpful...

The gradual "boil the frog" approach has its challenges.

I work in a large company, and when I went to a big cross company event after a few years focused within my project/team, I had a fair number of people not recognize me. And that was with no makeup whatsoever. 

Wow, thanks for all the responses!

I've not yet thought of doing clear nail polish; I've used regular nail polish a couple times, but I had the excuse that I had it on because my dorm had a "slumber party" event where people put on nail polish and stuff (which is completely true ).  This is one of the many things that initially led me to questioning my gender identity.  I found having the nail polish on my fingers just made me happy.

Also, thanks for the advice on the eyebrows, I probably would not have thought of that.  And as far as beards go, luckily I have relatively thin facial hair, so I could get by without any makeup for a couple days after shaving.

I echo the clear nail polish and maybe a bit of concealer just to smooth our your face and give it a nice peaches and cream look that will garner attention, but I think it'll be positive and build your self-esteem.

In the end, do what's comfortable for you and what makes you happy -- no one can or should take away your happiness.

Just remember to be prepared to field questions from the curious and nosy alike.

::hugs::

Princess