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My Agender day

Started by Midnightstar, April 25, 2016, 11:17:36 AM

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Midnightstar

Iv'e always found myself requesting myself and everything about me on the days i'm feeling more Agender
even though my masculine side no matter how small or big never complete leaves me alone. 
I don't speak about this other side of me often to friends or anyone in fact, it's something i keep to myself because iv'e always felt once someone knows the agender side to me the entire world starts trying to fit me into another box
when i already know my gender. I like to think about my agender side as a "Phase" because its silent until it hits and it never hits for very long but when it does it makes me as i said re question even if that isn't needed.
These are the days i find myself thinking i wouldn't have a female body or a male body and i find myself going wait what did i just say? that makes no sense? (of course later them thoughts change to i just want a more male look)
Today i'm frustrated with this agender side of me even more so because i don't use pronouns on these days
because i dislike all pronouns associated with me when feeling agender, and i hate it to because one of my problems with people becomes "Stop saying she" "Stop saying he" and DONT call me "It or they" and can't find some sentence to work with no name calling then don't speak with me, haha that's my mindset these days.
I guess my question is who else here has problems with pronouns on somedays?
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suzifrommd

Quote from: Midnightstar on April 25, 2016, 11:17:36 AM
I guess my question is who else here has problems with pronouns on somedays?

I'm at the point that no pronouns seem right. No one has called me "he" for years, but when I hear "she" (which is how I present 100% of the time nowadays) it always takes me a few seconds to figure out that they're referring to me. Non-binary pronouns seem really impersonal, so I'm not willing to start asking people to use them.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Elis

I thought I was the only one who had agender days. It doesn't happen very often though. Although when it does I wish I was free to be who I am without being forced into a certain box. I want nothing more than to be seen as simply a person; a genderless being. It hit me last time I had an agender day that I kind of like the look of my chest and I probably could live with it for years without surgery. But then again it feels like the lumps don't belong to me and I hate having to bind. I thought me feeling this way was a phase too but it become stronger when I accepted I was never female and stronger still now I'm on T and can feel the effects.
I don't think I get dysphoria when people use he. But I feel I would be much more comfortable using they and them. I feel dysphoric and uncomfortable that my social title is Mr instead of Mx. I don't want to be seen as trans or 'special' though so I feel forced to use Mr.
I wish I could go back in time before Western colonisation of North America; to live in a tribe where I would be accepted as a two spirit person. To just be seen as my innate self without the baggage or bigotry.
They/them pronouns preferred.



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Vanessa_Glidewell

I know how that feels. Im a trans girl but I'm agender/gender-fluid. I identify and present as girl and called she. A lot of days I feel like I want to be a guy, other days a girl, but I'm always called a she and I'm fine with it. I like it. But for some reason I don't mind to be called a he. I tried being a they but that didn't stick. Wish I still could though.
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sigsi

If it was up to me, gendered pronouns wouldn't exist. We would all just be a human. :P
Some days it bothers me more than others. When I was working some crappy server job it bothered me more because I would constantly either be be "sir'd" or "miss/mam'd" ("miss" after I spoke). Being addressed as a male still makes me smile for a moment, but ultimately bugs me in the end. I think I am somewhat alright with "they" internally, but the whole grammatical side of that still bugs be a bit (I actually enjoyed all of those english/grammer classes when I was younger).
I guess in the *most* ideal, would people addressing me by my name? Not that the world is ever going to fully adjust, but I'm not out yet and I can guarantee my family will not address me as anything other than "she". If I had to choose one of the cisgender pronouns to be in the public world, right now it would probably be male.

Edit: I identify as neutrois/agender, presentation is masculine/androgynous.
To be who you want to be 
and generally happy,
 is better than to be who you're not 
while living in mental pain.
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arice

I had agender years... a lot of them. I wanted the world to be agender, not just me. They were my reaction to thinking there was no way I could transition. They are a large part of the reason I consider myself non binary. I still think that in an ideal world, we could all just be people. I still think that there are far more important things than gender.
It was actually my kids that rocked me out of my agender view of the world. My kids and their certainty of their gender in spite of me trying desperately to raise them free of gendered stereotypes... made me deal with my own feelings about my gender... and the fact that I am transgender and definitely more masculine than feminine.

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arice

Quote from: Elis on April 25, 2016, 04:11:18 PM
I thought I was the only one who had agender days. It doesn't happen very often though. Although when it does I wish I was free to be who I am without being forced into a certain box. I want nothing more than to be seen as simply a person; a genderless being. It hit me last time I had an agender day that I kind of like the look of my chest and I probably could live with it for years without surgery. But then again it feels like the lumps don't belong to me and I hate having to bind. I thought me feeling this way was a phase too but it become stronger when I accepted I was never female and stronger still now I'm on T and can feel the effects.
I don't think I get dysphoria when people use he. But I feel I would be much more comfortable using they and them. I feel dysphoric and uncomfortable that my social title is Mr instead of Mx. I don't want to be seen as trans or 'special' though so I feel forced to use Mr.
I wish I could go back in time before Western colonisation of North America; to live in a tribe where I would be accepted as a two spirit person. To just be seen as my innate self without the baggage or bigotry.
Agree with most of this. Although I always hate my chest. ;)

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