Hello from Illinois, everyone.

I go by Astrid, and my preferred pronouns are they / their or she / her.

I first started visiting Susan's in my early teens trying to understand myself, and at one point I may have even been a very inactive member. A lot has happened since then, but it is so super duper wonderful that Susan's is still here helping others find themselves and community. I will be twenty-nine in two months, and a lot is going on in my life at the moment. I finally have an enjoyable job, am no longer living under a parent's roof, and have a fantastic relationship with a wonderful woman.

That last part is kind of why I felt the need to join an online community again, after so many years of being away from any or trying out some of the more intimidating ones. My girlfriend is amazingly supportive of me, first falling for me even whilst assuming I were a gay man, and then embracing my feminine, non-binary, asexual self for who I am. She is my best friend, and the love of my life, but just as I am about to begin my transition beyond the countless hours of talk therapy and makeup / dressing, the unexpected happens: pregnancy!

Unexpected, but we couldn't be happier—our first ultrasound is in a few days. We are in full-on baby fever, and I am happy inside and out. But a little deeper inside, I cannot shake the feeling that the life I am helping to bring into the world doesn't deserve to be confused about who their parents are. At no point in my life did I ever want to be called "daddy" or be a "father", but I think hearing that would just completely melt my heart and I am so confused!

I am excited, and scared, and nervous, and so very happy, yet so incredibly terrified. But enough of the super serious that would be better brought up in more specific forums.

Video games are my preferred pastime, though I never seem to have enough time for them anymore  . I took "Spelunkette" because some of my favorite games are Spelunker and Spelunky, but I would like to actually venture into a cave sometime. I have two adopted cats, Lakitu and Jupiter. At one point in time I played bass guitar and sang backup vocals in a band. Some of my favorite material things in the world are Sarah Waters' books, Little Nemo comics, Sigur Rós records, and Super Nintendo controllers.

I am grateful that this site is here and feel welcome just typing all of this out.

Thank you ever so kindly!

Hi Astrid 

Welcome back to Susan's    Glad to have you here again, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to the site rules and policies to help you along so you'll know what's up

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
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Hugs

V M

Welcome aboard brave Spelunkette, 

I saw your post and considered there was another cave explorer on site.  I lived in Colorado for a bit and did some amateur spelunking up in the rockies.  That was back in the days when I enjoyed scaring myself near to death:)

I would imagine your relationships with your GF and impending off spring are more significant in reaching to the depths?

Few of us are experts about being a parent but one thing I am sure of is the need for babies to be nurtured and to feel safe.  More people take puppy care classes than parenting classes but again, establishing a trusting relationship is considered a basic building block for your baby's future.  Being a loving, caring and consistent parent, you can go by any name you choose.  Babies need love and bond with those who care for them.  Good luck on your adventures.

"To the best of my knowledge, I have never explored any caves, caverns, or mines."

A likely story. Our forensics team is going over the miners headlamp we found in your garbage. If there's anything you'd like to tell us about that, it might bode well for you. 

Hi Astrid, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston, and well, I'm an all around wisenheimer! See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

Thank you so much, Devlyn, Tessa, and V M!

Hi Astrid and welcome to Susan's. I'm happy that your transition is moving forward.

Thank you, gennee

Also as an aside, due date is 06Dec2016!