Hello,

You can call me Semira. The name comes from the main character of a fiction novel that I'll probably never finish writing.

I'm sure this story will sound very familiar. I was born male, I'm still male but wish I was female. I've tried to create a female persona of sorts when online but I always feel like I'm lying when I refer to myself as female since...a look in the mirror says otherwise. I'm also really bad at socializing so I'm not even very good at pretending to be female to begin with.

I'm in my thirties now and this gender problem comes and goes but when it comes it is very, very uncomfortable. As time passes along I feel like there is some kind of growing subconscious panic in the back of my mind telling me that time is running out to do something. But, I still don't do anything. And I'm not even sure doing something is the right thing to do or even feasible.

That's about all I have for now. I plan on making a more detailed posting in the Transgender Talk section.

Again, hello!

Hi Semira 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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Quote from: Semira on May 27, 2016, 01:53:52 AM
Hello,

You can call me Semira. The name comes from the main character of a fiction novel that I'll probably never finish writing.

I'm sure this story will sound very familiar. I was born male, I'm still male but wish I was female. I've tried to create a female persona of sorts when online but I always feel like I'm lying when I refer to myself as female since...a look in the mirror says otherwise. I'm also really bad at socializing so I'm not even very good at pretending to be female to begin with.

I'm in my thirties now and this gender problem comes and goes but when it comes it is very, very uncomfortable. As time passes along I feel like there is some kind of growing subconscious panic in the back of my mind telling me that time is running out to do something. But, I still don't do anything. And I'm not even sure doing something is the right thing to do or even feasible.

That's about all I have for now. I plan on making a more detailed posting in the Transgender Talk section.

Again, hello!

Welcome, and a lot of people have told me not to rush
honestly, i'll tell others the same don't rush take your time young or older it'll be okay.
I noticed you're using the word pretending you're you i don't see that as pretending Sure, you may look into the mirror and at the moment and feel uncomfortable but you're whom ever you are and whatever you figure out in the future i wish you luck and i'm sure the journey will end up being interesting but at the same time helpful.

You've got plenty of time.  Many folks don't really do anything physical about gender identity issues until they are in their 40s or 50s.  Heck, I knew what my true self was when I was 32, but buried it for the sake of my wife and family.  OK, not the smartest choice in retrospect, but now I'm in my early 60s and taking some action.

I'd suggest contacting a therapist and working through some of this with them, if at all possible.  This might help you clarify your thinking on the matter.

Good luck in your search!   You've come to a place with lots of helpful folks.

Thank you all for the welcome.

I suppose "pretend" wasn't the best choice of words. I just feel guilty referring to myself as a she when if someone met me they'd see the opposite. I shouldn't be concerned with the opinions of random strangers but it still bothers me.

I am a very impatient person but at the same time I am a big procrastinator and I like to ignore problems and hope they just go away. I've been stuck in the mud for years so I haven't had to worry about rushing anything. But if I ever get out of the mud I'll try to go slow.

I think the source of my "subconscious panic" is simply that if I hypothetically ever did decide to transition then from what I've read, earlier the better as far as results goes.

Quote from: Semira on May 27, 2016, 11:16:39 PM
Thank you all for the welcome.

I suppose "pretend" wasn't the best choice of words. I just feel guilty referring to myself as a she when if someone met me they'd see the opposite. I shouldn't be concerned with the opinions of random strangers but it still bothers me.

I am a very impatient person but at the same time I am a big procrastinator and I like to ignore problems and hope they just go away. I've been stuck in the mud for years so I haven't had to worry about rushing anything. But if I ever get out of the mud I'll try to go slow.

I think the source of my "subconscious panic" is simply that if I hypothetically ever did decide to transition then from what I've read, earlier the better as far as results goes.

Nah it's good sometimes i don't use the best words either i just wanted to make sure you know that being you and whatever your journey is its okay and not pretend.

A hearty welcome to Susan's, Semira.