When I first told him I wanted hormones, he said he'd do whatever he could for me but it's too expensive right now, so I told him I really want to pay for it, then told me he didn't want me to use my money. I found a reputable free clinic that write hormone referrals, but then he refused to take me there. (And it was like he was freaking out knowing he ran out of excuses to tell me why I couldn't see a therapist)

maybe reassure him that hormones, etc. won't happen all in one go, that it will take a bit. parents are scared that once you go once, it's like a spiral "down hill" from there for them where everything just happens so fast. it doesn't happen that way. the money was an excuse, and when you kept finding new ways around it, he just flat out wasn't about it. suggest therapy and that you just want to talk to someone about how you're feeling. tell him how you're feeling and how this is the first step you NEED to take to feel better.

Quote from: invisiblemonsters on May 31, 2016, 08:58:07 PM
maybe reassure him that hormones, etc. won't happen all in one go, that it will take a bit. parents are scared that once you go once, it's like a spiral "down hill" from there for them where everything just happens so fast. it doesn't happen that way. the money was an excuse, and when you kept finding new ways around it, he just flat out wasn't about it. suggest therapy and that you just want to talk to someone about how you're feeling. tell him how you're feeling and how this is the first step you NEED to take to feel better.

^This

I am a little too old to be asking my parents' permission to see therapists  being 30 and all, but I agree that he is probably just worried that it's all going to happen in a blink of an eye and you'll be left regretting it.  Parents generally just want to protect you, and I know that's the reason my mom is not a fan of top surgery--she worries that I will regret it later.  But therapy for minors takes longer than for adults, so you won't be instantly on hormones. Maybe realizing that will make him feel better?

You could research the clinic's procedures/wait times etc, so that you can say almost exactly what's likely to happen, how long until you might be referred for hormones etc... remind him that you have time to back out - but don't be too vague about it, otherwise your parents might get the impression that it's a phase. It's a balance between not being so assertive that you scare them, and not being so delicate that they don't believe you. If you have all of the information to hand, it's obvious that it's not a whim and that you're being mature and thinking things through.