Two weeks ago, I had a major meltdown over girl troubles (I'm not divulging any detail) and I got it on to my mom, then I asked if she can bring dad up so we can both talk. While i was talking it out with mom, I brought up the idea that I was having thoughts about being transgendered.

So both my parents sat down and I discussed, I actually said that I had thoughts about wanting to be the opposite gender, but that I wanted those thoughts to go away. So, they reasoned with me that they believe the environment was a main influence, and they even said that I won't look good as a woman anyway. Could they be right, even if I agreed to their reasoning in that moment?

I now convinced that I might be using these thoughts as an escape for my low self-confidence and shame of my physical disabilities. I'm only 5' 6.5" and male, I have a low muscle tone and other things.

My problem is that, now what? What if I do decide later that I actually am having these thoughts and want to act on them? This only adds more complications.

Quote from: redhot1 on June 06, 2016, 08:44:22 AM
... they even said that I won't look good as a woman anyway...

Ugh, people always say that and it is the biggest load of crap argument. There are a lot of genetic cis women who "don't look good as a woman" and it doesn't matter one fig because they're living their life as their assigned and identified gender and no one with a brain tells them that excludes them from being a woman.

But look, of course your folks are going to try and talk you out of it. 95% of most parents will try to do that if you give them half a chance, and you gave them the chance.

Are you trans? Only you can decide that. If you are trans should you transition and, if so, partially or fully? Again, only you can decide that. A good therapist is the best way to guide yourself to finding these answers.

Maybe I'm not trans, but what can I do because I convinced my parents that it's a thought I don't want to have anymore.

Oh, and no offense, but by "generic" looking, I thought you meant as in "boring".

Nothing is carved in stone.  When and if the time is right, you can tell your parents that you were right all along.

One of the characteristics of gender dysphoria is that it won't go away just because you want it to.  I spent decades wishing it away, but it didn't go away.  If you find that the thoughts don't go away, it is likely a sign that you truly are transgender.

I'm just writing to support the responses you have already gotten. Perhaps a "standard therapist" to help you sort out your feelings, and once talking to them, move to a qualified gender therapist if it seems necessary? Gender Dysphoria will not ever just go away, many people on this forum will attest to that. Please search your soul, and be well!

Dierdre

1) You believe that attempting to be a cis gender male would maximize the amount of exterior acceptance you receive, not attempting to be female, so your desire to be the opposite sex isn't an attempt to mitigate your low self-confidence, but to increase the amount of acceptance you receive of your interior self.

2) All of our desires are combination nature and nurture, so an innate part of you is causing you to want to be the opposite sex.

3) I don't know if you will ever meet your appearance standards, but happiness is contingent on us trying to meet our desires.

Quote from: redhot1 on June 06, 2016, 09:12:34 AM
Oh, and no offense, but by "generic" looking, I thought you meant as in "boring".

Actually I said "genetic" (as in biological) not "generic". 

But regardless, yes, some genetic biological women are "boring" looking but it doesn't make any difference since they are no less women because of that. And while superficially looks are supposedly very important in our society the way someone looks as a woman doesn't stop them from being a woman, whether they are transgender or cisgender.

I'd say therapy would help straighten these issue out

You said before that your father is a Christian.  Of course he is going to say that "the environment is an influence" in your thoughts about gender, and of course he is going to say that you would make an ugly woman, in order to discourage you from wanting to transition.

No one with any scientific knowledge believes any more that ->-bleeped-<- is caused by environmental influences.  Cisgender men do not look at photos of beautiful women in bikinis on the internet and think "I want to be one of those girls" from seeing too many of them.  Sorry, it just does not work like that.  If you are this way, you are born this way and there is lots of science to prove it, and there are links to that information on other parts of this site.  But only a therapist can help you determine if you are transgender.

As to his second comment, assuming that the hormones do their job, and maybe with some help from facial feminization surgery, you are going to look like your twin sister, if you had one.   Or you are going to look like a much younger version of your mother.  Your father must have found your mother to be beautiful, or he would not have married her and had children with her.