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Want to look masculine but not ready to cut hair?

Started by Gilbert Rose, May 21, 2016, 04:15:04 PM

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Gilbert Rose

Hello. I have long hair, it goes down to my chest. I really want to pass as a boy though, which causes a problem. I'm scared of getting my hair cut, I've tried in little steps, but I don't even suit the little steps.

I would just go with hormonal therapy and keep my hair long, but then that might cause problems. As I'll have long hair, facial hair, deep voice...

What should I do? Any tips? Help? How I can keep my hair but somehow make it look masculine?
Thank you🌸



[First passed Wednesday 8th June, 2016]
Well, they're never gonna get me,
Like a bullet through a flock of doves...
  •  

Elis

Many cis guys have long hair; it's no longer considered unusual per se.  You could check out videos on YouTube or articles online to find a more masculine way of having long hair. This website is very good http://www.fashionbeans.com/
It took me ages to get the courage to cut my hair off. I first went for a medium messy look (think zac efron in high school musical). I was really nervous but thought 'it's my life and I'm tired of looking fem'. I then after having that for sometime and feeling more confident I got an undercut with a quiff.
They/them pronouns preferred.



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ghoulified g

I think I have the same problem, I have pretty long hair at the moment too and I kinda want to get it cut but sometimes I actually kinda like having long hair...? I mean, I'd like it better a bit shorter, but I listen to a lot of older rock and metal so a lot of the guys in those bands have/had long hair q: But I'm thinking short hair would help me until I get on T at some point, then I'll probably start growing it out a bit again haha i'm too young to get hrt here but it'll happen eventually, i'm sure
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Laura_7


You might try to keep it in a ponytail, and try different variations to see how it looks...
for example the ponytail all the way down below the ears ... or further above ... and different hairstyles on the forehead.

If you have glasses a square or rectangular frame might help.


hugs
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Gilbert Rose

Quote from: ghoulified g on May 22, 2016, 12:42:01 PM
I think I have the same problem, I have pretty long hair at the moment too and I kinda want to get it cut but sometimes I actually kinda like having long hair...? I mean, I'd like it better a bit shorter, but I listen to a lot of older rock and metal so a lot of the guys in those bands have/had long hair q: But I'm thinking short hair would help me until I get on T at some point, then I'll probably start growing it out a bit again haha i'm too young to get hrt here but it'll happen eventually, i'm sure

Hello! I'd like to say that I got it cut! It's scary but I went to a hairdresser and they knew how to make it work with my round face, I don't pass, but I feel that bit more... Me.
I liked having long hair too, once I start Hrt I might grow it all out again! Then I'd love to bleach it. Ahhh... A man with blond, long thick hair is what I dream of being... 💛
Ah, whenever I got upset about my hair length, I'd look at photos of Metallica. Love them!
If you're too young for T, why not hormonal blockers...? Or is it too late for that?

Either way, it might be good to start seeing a therapist, so then when you're old enough you can start T with little questions asked. I've been going to a therapist for exactly five months now, and I've been out back to stage one :/ best get it done with whilst younger. I'm sixteen.



[First passed Wednesday 8th June, 2016]
Well, they're never gonna get me,
Like a bullet through a flock of doves...
  •  

ghoulified g

Quote from: OzBunny on May 29, 2016, 06:59:21 PM
Hello! I'd like to say that I got it cut! It's scary but I went to a hairdresser and they knew how to make it work with my round face, I don't pass, but I feel that bit more... Me.
I liked having long hair too, once I start Hrt I might grow it all out again! Then I'd love to bleach it. Ahhh... A man with blond, long thick hair is what I dream of being... 💛
Ah, whenever I got upset about my hair length, I'd look at photos of Metallica. Love them!
If you're too young for T, why not hormonal blockers...? Or is it too late for that?

Either way, it might be good to start seeing a therapist, so then when you're old enough you can start T with little questions asked. I've been going to a therapist for exactly five months now, and I've been out back to stage one :/ best get it done with whilst younger. I'm sixteen.

Oh, good for you! I don't think I'd have the confidence to go to a hairdressers, people where I live aren't maybe as accepting of this kind of thing as other places in this country q:
I never really get upset about my hair length, but if I ever do I'll go and watch old Soundgarden bootlegs or something. haha
I have no idea if it's too late for blockers, I feel like I'm growing out of some of my clothes and shoes still but I don't get my height measured very often. I hope I keep going for a bit yet, if I still am, I might be going to a clinic in the summer because there aren't any very close by (closest clinic that'll take me is a ferry and many horrible hours in the car away) and I have no idea what would happen, if I'd have to go down again or what. A therapist would probably help me, yeah, I have issues with socialisation and stuff and I'm talking to someone at some point to see if I've got Aspergers or something, we'll probably end up talking about my gender identity at some point too. I just need all sorts of help, haha! But hopefully I can get blockers, I've got a couple of years to wait until I can get T since I turned 15 last Tuesday and I'd have to be 17 to get it here.
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Gilbert Rose

Quote from: ghoulified g on May 29, 2016, 07:43:41 PM
Oh, good for you! I don't think I'd have the confidence to go to a hairdressers, people where I live aren't maybe as accepting of this kind of thing as other places in this country q:
I never really get upset about my hair length, but if I ever do I'll go and watch old Soundgarden bootlegs or something. haha
I have no idea if it's too late for blockers, I feel like I'm growing out of some of my clothes and shoes still but I don't get my height measured very often. I hope I keep going for a bit yet, if I still am, I might be going to a clinic in the summer because there aren't any very close by (closest clinic that'll take me is a ferry and many horrible hours in the car away) and I have no idea what would happen, if I'd have to go down again or what. A therapist would probably help me, yeah, I have issues with socialisation and stuff and I'm talking to someone at some point to see if I've got Aspergers or something, we'll probably end up talking about my gender identity at some point too. I just need all sorts of help, haha! But hopefully I can get blockers, I've got a couple of years to wait until I can get T since I turned 15 last Tuesday and I'd have to be 17 to get it here.

So you don't need to see a therapist before going to a gender clinic where you live? That's very lucky. I don't need or really want therapy, but I have to in order to be able to be referred to the gender clinic... :/ I might ask in my next session if there is a way for me to get a referral to the gender clinic without therapy. My sessions are pointless. I just have to say the same old thing. "I want to be a dude. No, I don't like women, I like men. I see myself as a man in the future" ugh. Talk about broken record...

Shame to hear that your area isn't very accepting. I did get weird looks from the two hairdressers in the salon, but more of them thinking I was butch lesbian than them thinking transsexual... people around me like guessing (incorrectly) that I like girls, ever since this haircut ._.

Considerimg that you're 15, it sounds like it's a bit too late for hormonal blockers. But I guess it all depends on how much growing you've actually done. Over here I think you need to be 16 for hormonal therapy, consent from my social worker might be neeeded. 18 for hormones from informed consent.

If you start therapy for the reasons listed, I hope it goes well. Would like to mention that a diagnosis of any type of disorder could slow down your medical transition process. My mental health is the reason why five months of therapy went down the pan... almost half a year *man inside me cries*



[First passed Wednesday 8th June, 2016]
Well, they're never gonna get me,
Like a bullet through a flock of doves...
  •  

ghoulified g

Quote from: OzBunny on May 29, 2016, 09:17:06 PM
So you don't need to see a therapist before going to a gender clinic where you live? That's very lucky. I don't need or really want therapy, but I have to in order to be able to be referred to the gender clinic... :/ I might ask in my next session if there is a way for me to get a referral to the gender clinic without therapy. My sessions are pointless. I just have to say the same old thing. "I want to be a dude. No, I don't like women, I like men. I see myself as a man in the future" ugh. Talk about broken record...

Shame to hear that your area isn't very accepting. I did get weird looks from the two hairdressers in the salon, but more of them thinking I was butch lesbian than them thinking transsexual... people around me like guessing (incorrectly) that I like girls, ever since this haircut ._.

Considerimg that you're 15, it sounds like it's a bit too late for hormonal blockers. But I guess it all depends on how much growing you've actually done. Over here I think you need to be 16 for hormonal therapy, consent from my social worker might be neeeded. 18 for hormones from informed consent.

If you start therapy for the reasons listed, I hope it goes well. Would like to mention that a diagnosis of any type of disorder could slow down your medical transition process. My mental health is the reason why five months of therapy went down the pan... almost half a year *man inside me cries*

I don't think you need anything else before you go to a clinic here, I heard you can self refer...? At least, I think the one in Glasgow does that (where I have to go) q: I probably need therapy though to be honest haha

People are just weird sometimes. I don't see why people automatically think "lesbian" when a "girl" has short hair or "gay" when a "guy" acts feminine and make fun of them for it, I just don't get it at all. :s I mean, there are a good amount of accepting people here, but my mum told me that generally here (an island community) isn't as accepting as down south (Scottish mainland etc.)

I heard that blockers could prevent bone growth from stopping until I get on T, so if that hasn't happened by the time I get to a clinic then maybe it would help a little, because my feet are small even compared to girls my age, and definitely compared to the cis guys. I don't really care about my height - I'm pretty sure I'm around 5 foot 4, no idea exactly how tall - but I do kind of care about my hands and feet, I guess...? It just really annoys me seeing guys with giant feet compared to mine, but then again my mum and dad's feet are kinda small too q:

I don't think ASD would slow it down too much if any, my mum's suspected since I was about 4 but never got it checked out since I've never really needed to, and my brother's a couple of years younger than me and actually had it diagnosed when he was about that age. He's a bit worse off, but neither of us are great at socialising and people seem to just love ridiculing us both. Different people, too, we go to different schools because of age difference xD
Hopefully if I keep telling them it doesn't have much impact on my life if any they'll listen, if anything it's probably why I'm in the top English and maths classes at my school. I don't like either, I think they're really boring, I just seem to be naturally good at them...? I did read a hell of a lot when I was younger (taught myself to read when I was four) but that doesn't explain maths q: And I've never heard of people being refused medical treatment that's obviously going to help them because of touch aversion... haha
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Valkria01

You dont have to cut your hair off... hair can be pretty long on a guy
I was known to have more hair than the average girl in school.  :D :D
its pretty neat
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Gilbert Rose

Quote from: ghoulified g on June 01, 2016, 05:49:21 PM
I don't think you need anything else before you go to a clinic here, I heard you can self refer...? At least, I think the one in Glasgow does that (where I have to go) q: I probably need therapy though to be honest haha

People are just weird sometimes. I don't see why people automatically think "lesbian" when a "girl" has short hair or "gay" when a "guy" acts feminine and make fun of them for it, I just don't get it at all. :s I mean, there are a good amount of accepting people here, but my mum told me that generally here (an island community) isn't as accepting as down south (Scottish mainland etc.)

I heard that blockers could prevent bone growth from stopping until I get on T, so if that hasn't happened by the time I get to a clinic then maybe it would help a little, because my feet are small even compared to girls my age, and definitely compared to the cis guys. I don't really care about my height - I'm pretty sure I'm around 5 foot 4, no idea exactly how tall - but I do kind of care about my hands and feet, I guess...? It just really annoys me seeing guys with giant feet compared to mine, but then again my mum and dad's feet are kinda small too q:

I wrote a reply to this, but I left my tab too long and it decided to deleted it all ._.
Well, your lucky for not needing a referral done by somebody else. I'm still waiting... I'm seeing the Camhs Doctor in two days. I'll write an update of how that goes. I contacted the clinic, and found out there is a waiting list of at least nine months. I'll be 17 by then. So hopefully the Camhs Doctor puts in that referral. As I have no idea what I'll do if they don't... Time is ticking...

I still don't look masculine, although I've cut my hair and only dress in boys or unisex clothes now. I have a Pinterest board following my transition if you'd like to see it. I really need T to ever be seen and accepted as a young man.

Yeah, I don't get why people are so stereotypical. I guess they like to have people in these boxes, categorized in every simple way. It's silly. I don't want to be seen as a gay GIRL. I want to be seen as a gay GUY.  :'( :'( #dontpassgang

when it comes to blockers, it all depends on how far into puberty you are. A children's hormonal Doctor will be able to see how far you are from tests, and how much more of puberty you have left. They'll know if there is any point in hormonal blockers.

Although it will literally put your "girl" puberty on hold, that doesn't mean that you'll see massive changes in your hands and feet when you move onto T. I've heard that apparently, going up one shoe size whilst on T is amazing progress. So, sorry to burst your bubble, but if you're a size 4 and a half like me, you might still be stuck with baby feet. And your hands might do as well. If the men in your family are small and have baby feet too, then there won't be much change.

The men in my family are an average of size 7-8, but I'd still be shocked if I moved up to a 5 and a half.

I'm sorry to hear that people are rude to you and your brother. I somewhat understand the struggles with socializing and how to act when forced to be around others. I hibernate in my room all day long, just to avoid the staff and other children as much as possible. You seem nice, you don't deserve it. Don't listen to them, okay? I'm sure your little brother is nice, too.
Also, if you have an older brother, it might be good to see how puberty has effected him. For example, what shoe size is he? How deep is his voice? How visible is his Adam's apple? Can he grow facial hair? Does it grow normally?

I've observed all these things with my brother, I have somewhat of a more clear idea of how things might turn out for me. If you haven't got an older brother, your father would be next to observe. If there's no father around (sorry,) then maybe an uncle by blood.

I mentioned the risk because of myself having medical treatment delayed, but I was apparently showing signs of something a bit more serious... Had to push that one away.



[First passed Wednesday 8th June, 2016]
Well, they're never gonna get me,
Like a bullet through a flock of doves...
  •  

Elis

Looking at you profile pic you look like a handsome young guy to me :)
They/them pronouns preferred.



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Gilbert Rose

Quote from: Elis on June 07, 2016, 01:01:09 PM
Looking at you profile pic you look like a handsome young guy to me :)

AWWWW asdfghjk stop it you!😊☺️ You really think so? You're just saying that 🌸
Aaaah first time someone has said I look like a guy!



[First passed Wednesday 8th June, 2016]
Well, they're never gonna get me,
Like a bullet through a flock of doves...
  •  

Sebby Michelango

It's hard to tell without a picture to look at. But from my experience the face has very much to say.
If you have a very masculine face, you can pass as male with both long and short hair. If you doesn't have a masculine face, but a feminine one, you won't pass as male with long hair. Some struggle with passing with short hair too. It really depends from person to person. A person can pass with one kind of hairstyle, but another person may not pass.

If you do have a androgynous or a more masculine face, it's much easier to pass. Square or a angular face would be a benefit for passing as male. Often wide jawline, big nose and thick eyebrows are some masculine facial features that makes passing easier. Round face, big eyes, small nose, soft skin etc. might make passing harder. But not necessary. It depends how the features are combined. A few feminine features doesn't destroy the passing. Most people have some masculine and feminine features combined. But most cis men have more masculine features than women and vice versa.

If a person has a very feminine face, having long hair would probably not work, even though he choose a masculine version of long hair. Shoulder long hair or a masculine long hairstyle would not make a person pass as male, if he hasn't a masculine face. Then it's a choice between

Don't care about the society, don't pass and keep the long hair
or
do pass with short hair.
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Gilbert Rose

Heya, Sebby. I did have my photo uploaded before, but I'm shy, and took it down. My Pinterest is linked, and that follows my transition. You can see photos there now instead. The hair has been cut, as mentioned before.

My face is quite femmine, but somehow passed today.



[First passed Wednesday 8th June, 2016]
Well, they're never gonna get me,
Like a bullet through a flock of doves...
  •  

Sebby Michelango

Quote from: OzBunny on June 08, 2016, 04:16:01 PM
Heya, Sebby. I did have my photo uploaded before, but I'm shy, and took it down. My Pinterest is linked, and that follows my transition. You can see photos there now instead. The hair has been cut, as mentioned before.

My face is quite femmine, but somehow passed today.

You did a good decision. You suits the shorter hair better and you looks more androgynous. With long hair, it would be very difficult to pass for you, pre-T.
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