I'm transitioning MtF, and I'm in my late 30's.  I've always been attracted to women, never men.  But I never married anyone.  I've never even had a steady girlfriend.  I've never hit a home run, to use the baseball metaphor.  In fact I've never even made it to first base!

Thing is, I never had a problem getting dates.  I went to my high school senior prom with the prettiest Asian girl in town (I'm also Asian).  I was pretty darn good looking as a guy, well educated, intelligent... I literally had girls asking me out, and other parents asking me to date their daughters.  People always thought I was a very nice guy too (I've always had a mild temperament).

I don't know why I never pursued a relationship with women.  I wonder if my mind was subconsciously telling me to avoid having to take on a male role in a relationship.  Maybe my subconscious was trying to protect me from gender dysphoria?  I don't know.

In any case, as I'm now 5 months on HRT and pretty much living full-time, I'm beginning to question my sexual orientation.  I still find women attractive, but I'm finding myself less attracted to them sexually.  And I'm starting to consider the possibility of being with a man, for the first time ever.  Somehow, the idea of being with a man (with myself as a woman) seems very appealing in a way.  But I was repulsed by the idea when I was living my life as a man.

Does this make sense?  I guess in a way, my sexual orientation would not be changing, since as a man I was attracted to women, and as a woman I [may] be attracted to men.  But it still seems weird to me that I'd be attracted to a different sex than before.

How common is this type of thing anyway?

Not real common but it happens. The though on it is you might be bisexual and now that it's socially acceptable, you are allowing the thought of being with a man. About half the time married partners remain together through the transition and if the break up, it's because the non transitioning partner has issues.

Hi Emily,

I can very much relate. I was never attracted to men in any way before I transitioned. I present as female part-time. After ten months of HRT, I have found myself the object of mens' interest, and I (usually) like it. I find myself fantasizing about being with a man more and more often. Let's just say it's an interesting possibility now.  I don't think hormones change your sexuality, but I do think they broaden it a bit.

With kindness,

Terri

I can totally relate .. I was an Alpha male plus. Married 4 times have 4 children, total playboy of renown.

Now post op I have no intrest. in females sexually and like men.  Also ladyboy with a penis...lol

I think it's quite normal...

Hi

I was married to a woman and had 2 children, no interest in men at all. After hormones I cannot believe that I am sooo attracted to muscular men. I still find women attractive, but want GCS to fulfil my desire to be intimate with a man.

Take care

Love Jools x

I always had a far easier time relating to women then men. Had far more female friends then male. Could not believe the class of women that would date me. Dread hearing the words "You are not like other guys..."

I always seemed to be sexually attracted to women in real life. Sure... I had fantasies. But when fantasy became reality.... Not for me. Guys did nothing for me beyond being able to say "He is  good looking guy" with no emotional buy in.

Today, in a relationship with a woman for over 30 years, seven years on HRT, and a lot of personal growth just to be able to scratch the surface of who I really am, I cannot honestly say I am sexually attracted to women. Envious for sure. Never ever has my thoughts about a woman went to "I want a piece of that". It was always more like "I wish I could half as good in that outfit".

Never having genital dysphoria I've always been pragmatic about them. After all, we've had great times together. Just wish I was the woman instead of me. But hey, you got to work with what you got.

As I grow as a person. As I learn more and more who I really am. As I Un-Learn what I tried to force upon myself, my eye does wonder. Suddenly there are a lot of guys out there that.... look more then just good. Worse, are the dreams. Dreams where I am female are nothing new. Used to be half the time for as long as I can remember. Now they are mostly female, uncomfortably more often with a male friend/lover/love interest.

The greatest fear my wife has of my journey of self discovery is where my true love lies. She is far more realistic then I am. She firmly believes that I will likely want to explore the sexual aspects just as I am learning that in an ideal world my true love lies living as Joanne.

I turned heterosexual after a while, I think it's because of estrogen. But now I am questioning that too... and the reason I question it, is because I used to love woman. Maybe I am Bi, I don't now. I had some bad experience with men in the last years, which makes me appalled by men in some way. But then again, I don't see myself being intimate with another woman again. It's confusing...

2cherry, you sound like my wife, who is bi, has been her whole life. The way she feels about men vs women has to do with what's going on in her life. If she ended a bad relationship with a guy she would only be attracted to women for a while, that sort of thing.

I think hormones can impact your emotions and therefore who you're attracted to, especially if you are bi but who knows, maybe even if you're not. If you have a lifetime pattern of going back and forth, that's known as sexual fluidity and it's very common among bi people.

Pre-transition I was married for many years and had no interest in men whatsoever - I was living a heterosexual life with my wife.

Since then i've transitioned and have been served divorce papers and am dating a trans woman. I've been on hormones for close to 3 years. I haven't experienced what I'd call a "huge" shift in my orientation - I'm still attracted to women - but I have begun to notice that some guys are quite cute and I've also discovered that i'm not hung up about a person's plumbing - who a person is much more interesting to me than what they are.

I'd guess that these feelings we always there and having to live the lie covered them up, or maybe the hormones flipped that switch 

I stayed mostly heterosexual. I married a woman before transition and I have to child's. Now I have a boyfriend and I will marry him maybe.

Sounds strange? Not really. It is a huge difference being together with a man with a male body. Being with a man as women feels different. I feel much more feminine when I am together with my boy friend. 

For me I did not change sexual orientation. Still being attracted to women would feel like a change. Although I could have sex with a lesbian I never would consider living together in the same house.

Quote from: Lara1969 on June 14, 2016, 12:04:38 PM
Although I could have sex with a lesbian I never would consider living together in the same house.

Interesting... I feel the exact opposite.  not sure yet what that makes me, or maybe I have given up on the labels...

It does happen, before transition the thought being with a man sexual was yuck, ugh!!  But over time men interest in me, hitting on me, I started being attracted to the attention, found it unnerving at first, holding hands with my first boyfriend the first time felt a bit weird, I just went with the feeling, then that moment OMG I'm kissing a man, I'm now a hetrosexual woman, I did eventually married a man, I'm now a woman and it just feels natural for me to be with a man. I would never have thought this possible 30 years ago.

I was always strictly oriented towards women. I spent a lot of time around guys, and there was nothing. Now I feel like women are fun, men are omg .

Thank you everyone for sharing.  I'm glad I'm not alone in this possibility.  The thought of being with a man who treats me like a woman certainly sounds very appealing to me.  But I've never been with a man so I really don't know what that would actually be like!  hehe

I've been single for a very long time, so I'm sure I could manage continuing to live alone.  But as I get older the thought of being with someone does have a greater appeal.  I think I'm a pretty good catch, so maybe I'll attract the attention of a good man at some point... I'll try to keep an open mind about things and see where it all leads! 

Quote from: EmilyMK03 on June 21, 2016, 02:09:35 AM
The thought of being with a man who treats me like a woman certainly sounds very appealing to me. 

That's what changed my attitude and feelings towards men, my husband treats me very much as a woman, he knows my history, but only ever knew me as a woman, spoils me the way a girl should be spoiled, he is a gentleman and it's lovely, strong and takes care of me, I could never get that from another woman.

Quote from: pretty pauline on June 21, 2016, 03:06:39 PM
That's what changed my attitude and feelings towards men, my husband treats me very much as a woman, he knows my history, but only ever knew me as a woman, spoils me the way a girl should be spoiled, he is a gentleman and it's lovely, strong and takes care of me, I could never get that from another woman.

I beg to differ. My wife is kick butt strong and takes wonderful care of me. Jk i know you were speaking from your perspective and that is awesome, your husband sounds wonderful.

I apologize that I have nothing to contribute here. I just wanted to say this thread is fascinating. I learned a lot here.

Hi Alex

How about you?

Has transition changed your needs?

You look fab by the way!

Love Jools x

Forgot to add, that my confusion can also come from my borderline/ocd/bipolar. I've heard it's common to be indecisive with these kind of 'metal illnesses'. Where your preference might seemingly change overnight and return the next. With borderline it can be more confused: at one time I fell in love with the opposite sex, not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to feel loved... so I can do things against my will, coupled with this gender dysphoria... it's not pretty. 

Quote from: juliehope on June 22, 2016, 08:23:44 AM
Hi Alex

How about you?

Has transition changed your needs?

You look fab by the way!

Love Jools x

Hi Julie - I'm not transitioning, so this thread really doesn't apply to me. But I find it intriguing that sexual orientation can be altered through hormone therapy. For many, this may seem obvious. But it isn't. Thanks for the compliment, too