A barber shop ?? You mean, with a striped pole, tables covered with Field & Stream and Sports Illustrated, and manned by a bald guy named Larry?

*Stealth recoils like a vampiress confronted with a cross*

Go to a salon. To my intense horror, guys go to them all the time. How is Larry supposed to make a living?

When I was where you are, I did what someone here suggested, I went in and told her what my deal was, and could she give me a more feminine cut without going so far that I would get stared at, cos I still had to go to work as a guy. (gawd....thanks a heap for reminding me of the bad old days!) She said no problem, and gave me a cut I was really happy with.

You say none of your SO's have a clue and you don't want them guessing, or somethign to that effect. Well, um, how significant have they had a chance to be, if you are hiding that much from them? if they ask questions, just say "I wanted it this way" and leave it at that. That's what I did.

Now, my stylist has to practically chain me down like Frankenstein's monster in order to even get me to let her trim the raggy ends off. I LOVE MY HAIR! 

Stealth

So, my hair was down to my waist and I normally just pull it back into a ponytail and tie with a pretty ribbon. Sometimes I put it down low, sometimes very high or off-center. But lately I have a lot of broken and short 'stragglers' poking out and looking ugly. It looks fine when wet or with sticky goo, but gets all crazy when dry (like driving around topless--the car roof silly). I had been having my wife trim me up but one day out around town it got to bugging me so I walked into the first shop I came to. It was not quite a salon, but more than a barber shop. That day I had my nails painted and a girly top on so I guess the stylist sort of knew what I wanted/needed. I came out with a nice pixie and I just love it for the summer! Will probably let it grow again this winter.

I have totally asked for feminine haircuts even before i started my transition. Stylists never batted an eye and many seemed pretty delighted i asked. My current cut is a asymmetrical pixie with long bands on one side that come almost to my chin.