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56 year old virgin?

Started by Tohl, January 12, 2008, 05:20:16 PM

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Tohl

Well my first posting on here... I've just been having a look round and getting used to it. Still haven't worked out how to post a foto, I'm a bit of a luddite when it comes to site navigation but once I've been there I always remember. Much better with a map and a steering wheel.
So. When I sat opposite my shrink-rap psychobabble meter-ticking note-taking money-making 'specialist' I told him " It's simply a matter of marketing. The packaging just doesn't match the contents" Easing back into the plush leather ox-blood fart-making masters chair he smiled and made a few brief movements with his pen. In ten minutes I had the papers I needed. In eighteen months I was on the trolley, high as a kite and four hours from being me.
Life here in Bristol is good. Creatively fertile with regular work around the UK and occasionally a tour in Europe. I am 1.88m tall slim and most of time live in jeans and tops. Tour management is no place for skirts or stillies. I scrub up well when the occasion warrants and have a wonderful family of friends. Had 6 step-kids over the years who are still around and have been with me all the way. I've read a few posts tonight with the same theme. Courage, confidence (even you are quaking inside) Honesty (firstly to yourself)
My life changed when I stopped the charade. True friends are still with me and even closer. My working life changed and I haven't stopped yet. I'm part of a group that runs Open Mic poetry and music sessions and am doing a lunchtime LGBT poetry reading Feb 7 in Bristol Central Library if any of you can make it ;-) I still have some wobbly times, more around the tension in the streets and the anger in the eyes of the crazies. I have a good tale to tell about confrontation but another time.
Tohl
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tekla

Did tour management once, it was like changing 40 year old babies on a constant basis.  Now I will stage manage, or tech, but never, ever, tour manage again.

Welcome, nice to have another industry type here.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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bethzerosix

welcome. :)

i think you need a certain post count to upload your own pictures. 15 i think
Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.
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IsabelleStPierre

Welcome to Susan's!

QuoteCourage, confidence (even you are quaking inside) Honesty (firstly to yourself) My life changed when I stopped the charade.

All very true and very important to a healthy existence...

Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre
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HelenW

Welcome, Tohl!  It's nice to see you here after meeting you in #Chat!

I'm pleased you like the site enough to join us.  I hope that continues and I'll be looking forward to reading more from you.

hugs & smiles
Emelye
FKA: Emelye

Pronouns: she/her

My rarely updated blog: http://emelyes-kitchen.blogspot.com

Southwestern New York trans support: http://www.southerntiertrans.org/
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Robyn

Welcome, Tohl.  Sounds as if things are working well for you.

Robyn
When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly. — Patrick Overton
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tinkerbell

Hello Tohl and welcome to Susan's!

Thank you for your introduction.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay :)

tink :icon_chick:



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Tohl

Well thank you all for your welcomes. Would love to share some tales of the road with you Tekla. I've done care work too and yes they are similar, just the creative output is a little more refined and the travel is more varied. I do some static event management too. Emelye! hi and yes Tink, I'll be here many more times. I'll have a deeper look around next time. Must go out and network but for now I hope you will accept the following.

It began with a name, so simple a slip by a teacher unversed in the 'bi' or the 'hip'
that was buried in future and tense wasn't part of my make-up
until some years hence

But it started and grew festered perhaps?
I wouldn't say that tho' you might, eh chaps?
for I'm not what I seemed in those halcyon days
when Bowie and Bolan joined hands with the gays

For long before then I had found something more
to my secret delight and I had to know more
but the anguish the sweat the fear of my 'crime
the dream of sweet essence to mingle with mine

So I watched and I waited and played with the girls
who thought I was funny but envied my curls
then grey flannel trousers and football boots called
but the grammar school gangs didn't help me at all
for six hundred boys, not a girlfriend in sight
left me tongue-tied and smooth-thighed
I longed for the night

As I lay in my bed in my androgyne reverie
legs tightly closed I relied on my memory
to conjure up games and recall conversations
with girls I admired who still had no notion
of why I delighted in combing their hair
and hugging their legs so deliciously bare

So the years have amassed and the tension has run
through my life till I screamed and no more would I shun
the emotion, the longing, the need to remake
my life as it had been for so long a fake
For I live as want now I've slowly evolved
through this puzzle of gender I finally solved.

1985
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