Maybe it's not even dysphoria but my happiness is way off the last couple of months THIS ISN"T HOW IT'S SUPPOSED to be :-(.

I'll probably have agreement on letters of recommendation for surgery from my therapist this week, I have a consult scheduled with a surgeon, hormones are having the desired effects on body and brain (the breasts I want are coming along, facial features are softening, I'm much happier with how my brain works with T suppressed and a healthy supply of E.

I'm looking for hope / help:

My sex drive is still way off and while I can enjoy sex when I do get in the mood I find it much harder to string myself into multiple orgasm -- anyhow 5 months into HRT I can't say that my sexual response is better. I want to think that replacing the penis I'm not comfortable with with a neovagina will work better with HRT. I could still imagine stopping HRT to get my sex drive back, or more likely taking 'vacations' from estrogen for better sexuality. Before HRT I'd gotten to being multi-orgasmic, now I'm barely orgasmic.

Have other girls here found it took time to get to a more fulfilling sexuality? did that not come until after surgery? I'm curious to hear more details of people's paths because if there's anything I believe it's that we're all quite different and yet if you can understand whole stories then things make more sense.

The variation between people is obviously large and maybe more between individuals than between male / female populations -- who knows. I've even dome some looking at research and indeed the female brain responds differently to orgasm than the male does.

I think I will still choose for GRS, what I'm pretty sure I don't want is to be in this limbo of having a male body with feminine emotions.

I'm post-op since 2005 and my sex drive is fine, better since taking more E (progesterone helps some girls too). I have amazing orgasms, sometimes when I'm sleeping. Pre-op, I didn't think about it and only spent 1.5 yrs in that state. Was very happy to get out of that state of limbo as fast as I could, felt much better with a vagina down there.

I found on the HRT dosage I'm on (which is much lower than normal pre op level as my wife and I have enjoyed having a family of our own) my sex drive is fine, it works like many cis girls tbh, not a male sex drive. I took AA's once ages back and they didn't agree with me and ruined my mood and also my sex drive dropped through the floor. Once my T level comes back up slightly it's OK. I've managed to get my hormone levels to a sweet spot that seems to give me what I want

As for SRS I still don't know, my wife has never been with anyone else like me and I think for us as I've always been the way I am since we met it would change things too significantly and I'm not overly offended by what I have as it doesn't work like a mans penis does and it's easy for me to tuck etc so I'm happy

I have quite a low sex drive, my OH has a very high one.  She does get frustrated if I'm not in the mood / busy studying etc.

She has however, learnt a couple of short cuts/very sensitive areas that can get my attention pretty rapidly.  Personally, I think it's cheating.

I lost my sex drive almost completely in the 90's when I was on HRT the first time around.  It sort of returned after a years once I stopped, but I found I really did not miss it much.  It returned eventually to a "healthy" level eventually and I enjoyed it ok over the next few decades.

Now that I am back on HRT, it takes a unanimous vote from congress to get anything going.  I am fine with it, but it does seem to annoy my better half that she has to work so hard...spend so much effort.  The one thing she has said though, when things do get going, they REALLY get going and that is 7 months with high dose E.

I actually like my toned down sex drive as 40 years of being ruled by it never really suited me.  Okay, maybe "ruled" is a bit dramatic, but it was not something I considered a positive.

I have a couple of sisters that have completed SRS and they said taht they feel the same drive they did at about a year on HRT alone, but they enjoy what they have a lot better.

Everyone is different and there can be many reasons for the drive being low or high. I would encourage you to speak with your doctor if they have expertise in this area and also your therapist as one or both may determine causality.

Thanks so much for the responses - I was away for a week of intensive training and haven't been able to keep up with the site.

As it happens, I forgot to bring estradiol & syringe so I missed a week and sex drive was back up - not dramatically but noticeably. That's a useful data point - and something I'd planned to do anyway so if the timing sucked, I learned something so that's good.

Once things restabilize I will get the next set of blood tests (we lowered my dose a few weeks ago) and then I will talk to my endocrinologist about adding progesterone. Not just for this, I've had some swelling in hands and feet that's probably due to estrogen dominance.

And yes I work on all of this in therapy. The change to not being as obsessive about sex isn't necessarily bad either. Otoh I am longing for a libido that matches the positive changes in my body. I'm cool with where things are, just also glad to have feedback.

So again thanks for that <3